Sue's Story
It’s not often that I write letters and here I am writing my second one in three days!
My first one was to my husband! – but more on that later………..
It was Fiona, actually, who suggested I write this as an inspiration for those of us who are not quite out of the woods, but who are on our way. I knew for years that I was definitely “lost in the woods” but despite the fact that I saw counsellors, psychotherapists, and doctors, I still couldn’t find my way out! Each year was getting worse and I lived a cycle of ups and downs. For the past six years I’ve been living on a Mediterranean island where both the culture and spoken language is not at all what I am used to.
I was brought up in England but at 20 years old left for Brussels, Belgium. I found a wonderful job working with the American Government in economic development and was travelling almost every other week. After that I moved to Vancouver, Canada, where I was offered yet another very interesting job with an international businessmen. I remained in Canada for four years and met and married an Englishman whilst out there.
I actually left the UK in order to earn a little more money abroad so that I could come back and buy my own house! Here I am, at 45, still without my own home, and still not back in the UK!
I have actually had many good experiences travelling and seeing different places but somewhere along the line I now realise I lost my identity. The excitement of constantly moving on and seeing different places eventually wore off and now that my husband and I have two children (aged 15 and 13) it’s not as easy for me anymore.
Looking back I realise that I had always moved whenever it suited my husband and not necessarily myself. So much so that one day I woke up and realised I was in a place where I had no friends, nothing to do, and nowhere to go. I was DESPERATE! My husband was “ok” with his work and social life, my children were “ok” with their schooling and social life, but I was completely lost and isolated. This was the greatest problem that I had.
I am now in a situation whereby my children are totally acclimatised here and no longer feel “English” having attended Italian school for so many years; my husband has recently changed job and is constantly travelling and never around; and I am still looking for a home of my own! We have spent years in rental accommodation and the “latest” has a spectacular view but no heat (much needed in the winter months!), a washing machine outside under a tree , gas supplied to the house by gas cylinders if only the chap remembers to pass by with them, and phone lines that cut out for days on end whenever it rains!
I woke up one day six months ago and realised my identity had gone! Who was I? Where was I going? And what was I doing? For years I had allowed myself to drift and become totally depressed. No one understood and I was completely isolated. I thought I was going mad. I felt I had tried everything to get myself out of this situation, but there just didn’t seem to be any solution. And then, I saw a “light at the end of the tunnel.”
It came in a bookshop at Hong Kong airport! I was browsing around and happened to come across “Be Your Own Life Coach”. I immediately picked up the book and bought it. It was the best thing I could have done. By the time I got back home next day I was already contacting Fiona to see if she would be my “personal coach”. I have not looked back since. She was my MOTIVATOR and without her I wouldn’t have got myself back on track. It’s only been about six months since we first spoke but I’m a different person now and on my way to a new ME!
Through our initial discussions, Fiona helped me identify what I really wanted in life and in which direction I should go. Initially I had no idea, but when she told me to ask myself “what I didn’t want” I then had a clearer picture. Throughout the years of constantly moving around and always being left on my own, Fiona helped me identify the one thing that kept me going – FITNESS! I have been doing fitness classes for more than twenty years now and it is this that has kept me sane!
Owing to Fiona’s encouragement and motivation I signed up for a Personal Trainer course after which I intend establishing my own Fitness & Lifestyle Consultancy. For the next several months I’ll be backwards and forwards to London to complete the course and I’m absolutely thrilled that I passed my first exam there last week! What a confidence booster and there’s no holding me back now.
Yes, there are obstacles to overcome as I don’t have much support at home and every day I’m being “told” that we may have to move to this city in Switzerland, or this city in the Middle East, but, unlike in the past when I would have let this deter me, now it’s motivating me even more to just GO FOR IT! After being in the situation I’ve been in for so many years, whenever I go to my course in London I just love it! It’s almost like reverting back to the days of my youth. I have so much energy now and am gradually regaining my self-confidence and belief in myself.
Going back to the beginning of this letter – I mentioned that this was the second one I had written in a few days – the first being to my husband. I had just got back from London and was on such a “high” that I thought the only way he is going to “listen” to me, my needs, and my goals, was to put it in writing to him. Perhaps one of these days I’ll get his response. He left for his last business trip without saying a word!
In the meantime, however, I just wanted to mention that if I can get lost so deep in the woods and manage to get out, then so can you.
GO FOR IT!
Sue
P.S. – Through Fiona’s network, I’d love to hear from anyone in a similar situation. After all we DO have something in common – FIONA – what a truly unique and inspirational person!
