Sarah's Story
Before I coached with Francine my life was exhausting! I thought my general busy-ness meant my life was full, but somewhere deep inside knew it wasn't - I was drifting. I never found the time to think and be honest with myself so I had the wrong focus in my life, full of big ups and big downs. I didn't know that lack of time was the issue.
I was working long hours with a long journey to and from work. On the surface I had a prestigious and good career making good money as a chartered accountant, with a FTSE 10 company. In reality I was stressed, de-motivated, disliked the boss and the culture, and I was tired. I had no time for me and I felt trapped!!
Socially I kept active with a very wide circle of friends. I was also drinking a lot. On the relationship side, there was no special man in my life. I got chatted up a lot but was only able to talk to men on a surface level. I just didn't know what I was looking for. I didn't understand myself and it was not a good place to be!
I guess I didn't dare to admit to myself, or anyone close to me, that anything was wrong as I didn't know how to fix it and couldn't bear to think I was a failure.
Incredibly Francine helped me to identify my need for time and how it fitted into my (at this stage unknown to me) strategy for life. I learnt that in the past I have made snap decisions and put myself under enormous pressure as a result. I have tended to over commit and Francine made me realise that I needed to understand the facts, take time to consider and get comfortable, then decide or act. Understanding this now feels so good - it has armed me for life.
Francine's assessment of my situation resonated so well for me that I found myself answering all sorts of deep questions. I was keen to find out more about me! It was a little like opening up a dark room that had been shut for years. It felt difficult at the start, even a little awkward, but also good and refreshing.
Craving Time
Coaching with Francine gave me the self-awareness to understand that I was craving time but totally oblivious to it. I was just too close to myself to know. She helped me look at my life honestly, told me things that she observed about me, got me to verbalise my own goals and to realise I could still achieve them. I realised that I wasn't a failure after all! Phew!!
Francine was true to me throughout but challenged me when my diary got too full. She acted as my conscience and helped me to stay on track. A true coach in every sense. She listened to me at the start, made her assessment, took my goals and worked with me to achieve them. You can't do this on your own. It's just so much easier having someone on your side, reminding you of why you're doing it and pointing out areas to work on whilst supporting you every step of the way.
I now realise that I wanted an easier, happier less stressed life with more time for me. I wanted more reasonable working hours (no more than 8am -6pm), a job nearer to home (no more than 30 mins travelling time).
I had to take control and actively make time in my life to start doing things for me instead of trying to suit other people. I had to stop trying to please other people and be true to me. I also needed to cut back on my number of friends, to stop spreading myself so thinly and to have more quality time with special friends.
I realised that I had to change my job as it conflicted with my essential need for time. The pressures of current job would clearly never change, so my only option was to leave and find a more sympathetic environment - one that would allow me time to have a life!
Taking Action
So I started by blocking out 'me time' in my diary. I explained to friends and family that I needed more time for me. At times I had to be tough and say no to things. I just couldn't hide behind the excuse of having a prior arrangement. It was hard because some people felt shut out, but very soon people have accepted and understand and can see how much happier I am.
I then decided to go travelling for 3 months because I was mentally jaded at work and just wasn't ready to go straight into another job. For the first time in years I started to put my personal happiness first. In the past I would have felt it was a reckless to spend money to go travelling and wouldn't have had the time because of job. Not any more. Now my job has to fit in around my life rather than the other way round.
Latest Update
The latest update is that whilst I'm contracting at the moment, and working 8.30am - 6pm with my evenings free, I recently felt ready to get a permanent job and am now at the 2nd interview stage. Watch this space …
So now I am much more in touch with myself. Much happier and back in love with life. I am de-stressed, more relaxed and sleeping well. I look better too (or so I keep being told!)
I make time to go to the gym and my body feels good. I'm keeping my weight down (no more eating on planes and in hotels whilst travelling for work), my clothes look better and I feel alive with so much more energy. I enjoy my life every day, not just at weekends or holidays. These days I have very few fringe friends and spend more intimate time with special friends.
Relationship wise, I have dated 2 guys over the past year. I have had much deeper involvement with them, and have been very open with them both from the start. I did call both off, as they were not exactly what I wanted which shows that I have learnt a lot about me - I am much clearer about what I want now.
I don't have all the answers as life continually changes, but have learnt to follow my heart, keep to the fundamentals take time to think and grow and trust my own intuition.
Thanks to Francine, I have made the time to live my life and learned that I will never let myself drift again.
Sarah B
Related Links
About Francine Kaye
Read about Life Coach and time management specialist Francine Kaye and contact her directly.
Top "Time for You" Tips
Francine Kaye shares her top tips for making time for yourself.
Time to Live
Our online course, Time to Live, was written by Frnacine Kaye and will help you to take control of time in your life.
