Karl's Story
Two years ago my biggest daily achievement was simply getting out of bed! To me facing the day meant another reminder of how far behind in my career I was and opening the morning mail and bank statements was confirmation that I was not successful at what I was doing.
The Perfect Life?
To friends and colleagues I had the perfect life as a Professional sportsman with a nice home and a beautiful girlfriend but for me I couldn't be further away from my dreams and goals. My feelings of unhappiness were only compounded by the guilt that lots of people would love to be doing what I was doing.
Time was running out as far as I was concerned I was 26 and society had told me that I should be in a completely different place at this stage and that was a constant reminder of my failure.
Socially I wanted to live the lifestyle I thought people expected of me, eating out two or three times a week, going to shows, concerts, hotels and taking holidays in turn finances spiralled out of control and I never really enjoyed the experiences because I knew I couldn't afford them.
I then got caught up in earning a living to pay for the lifestyle completely ignoring my passions and dreams and so the circle of frustration continued.
My head was a mess I wanted a break from me! But my thoughts were there the moment I woke to the moment I went to bed.
I recall sitting in the back garden on my own thinking what is the point! I had always had such clear dreams and unwavering belief that I would be rich and famous and I couldn't work out how I had ended up like this.
I knew I had choices; I could do nothing and spiral further into depression and debt or explore an alternative I just did not know where to start.
A Kick Start
At first I did not want help, I felt that I had to do it on my own or I would be forever reliant on third party to get me through life. It was with this brief in mind that I went to the local bookshop and Fiona Harrold's book "Be your own life coach" immediately grabbed my attention.
The book kick started my desire again but I wanted to continue and took up the option at the end of the book to look at the website and subsequently contacted Francine Kaye and enrolled her as my coach.
The first thing Francine highlighted for me was the achievements that I had already made in my life. I began to see myself as successful in my field and just part way through a journey rather than at the end.
The biggest areas that we worked on were my beliefs and gremlins that hold me back from fulfilling my potential. Francine enabled me to realize what parts of my career that I am passionate about and then helped me to make a huge life change to rearrange my diary and to focus on these passions to make them financially rewarding.
Where am I Now?
I now see myself as a golf expert and I spend my days fulfilling all my dreams. I satisfy my passion for coaching people by making time every morning for lessons with my members. My afternoons are dedicated to my ultimate passion for playing golf with a much more enjoyable goal of being as good as I can be.
Through managing my golf coaching time, my reputation in the area has grown and I am usually fully booked. This has enabled me to increase my tuition fees and I now put a far healthier value on my professional time and realise how important it is to me to balance my training and my private time. I now have a regular feature on local radio talking about my profession, I have been asked to write an instructional book based on my golf coaching beliefs; beliefs which have evolved from much of the work I have done with Francine and I have an abundance of time to play the game that I love.
Success for me means something completely different. I am now enjoying the journey rather than being frustrated at being at the end goal. I am also aware of all of my achievements along the way and am learning to enjoy the satisfaction that they bring.
As a result of organising my professional life I am able to enjoy my relationships a lot more. By not taking my frustrations to that part of my life I do not feel guilty about living out my dreams but instead like to present myself as an example that if you want to you can!
Working with Francine has clearly had immediate effects on how I construct my days and ultimately live out my dreams. Coaching with Francine has equipped me with new tools for decision making that I know will have profound effects on my life into the future.
Karl S
Related Links
Francine on Men and Coaching
Francine responds to the perception that Life Coaching is not for men!
Coaching is for Men too!
Coaching enabled me to understand myself better than ever before and identify ways to enhance my view of myself and accept myself on the good days and bad.
Fiona on the changing role of men
Fiona writes about the changing roles men are adapting to today
