Claire's Story
I knew for some time, probably a few years if I am being honest, that I wasn't dealing with or 'understanding' how my money worked. Professionally I could - and can -handle budgets large and small, I have had to think through, research and write business plans, implement the strategy agreed and make sure the business runs efficiently. No problem!
Thinking back it took three years to find the help I needed and make the phone call. And not a minute too soon either.
A Muddle of Debts
By that time my monthly income did not cover expenditure; I was juggling a mortgage, four credit cards, a store card that I always cleared monthly if necessary and three loans, a total figure of just under £38,000 was owed, excluding my mortgage. Two of the loans were failed attempts to consolidate debt. The most recent taken out only months before finding help.
I wasn't particularly happy, either professionally or personally but I didn't see for a long time that it was worrying about money that was tainting my attitude to so many aspects of day to day living. Neither was I particularly extravagant. Yes I buy clothes, have a regular haircut, go on holiday but I haven't been able to afford a car for years. As a student I had accumulated a couple of thousand pounds of debt, after graduating it took almost two years before I found a full time post. Shortly after, I had to relocate to take up a great post; I found myself in a different town, paying a high rent and with a job that required me to dress well, give a confident impression.
However after a few years of trying to keep finances in control and get onto an even keel, without doubt my attitude to money had changed. I was in so deep that I didn't really care about another couple of hundred quid. I now see that even when I spent money on a holiday or dress, or an evening with friends I didn't really enjoy the experience. However, I kept telling myself, life costs!
I kept convincing myself that everyone is in this situation, that's the way it i
Getting out of the Trap
When I first spoke to Grainne I thought the answer would be to consolidate further. That somehow I was missing a trick, an opportunity on how to 'play' with money, and a look at my financial picture by someone 'who knows' would soon sort things out.
After an initial conversation Grainne gave me some exercises to do. I glanced at the text and could see this was going to be really interesting. Within a day I set about getting the financial information to put together a picture of my financial situation, I needed to make a few phone calls and check out pension details, double check loan repayments, clarify the interest being paid on credit card bills. To be able to talk openly about my money, my financial situation, was a huge relief.
I found the experience both a revelation and a challenge.
Even though my scenario was, indeed is, serious, coming to terms with the situation has been extremely important. I felt so trapped, money - or my lack of it - was ruling every decision I was taking, in some instances the decision was not to take a decision! Yet I knew that this situation was not the real me, I wanted to sort out the problems I had with money not allow it to consume me. Now I know the extent of the problem and I am taking action. So, there's no need to put life on hold.
I have learned so much: about my own spending habits; about interest and compound interest and most important I have a debt payment plan that I drew up, that I control and that I can monitor. It will be autumn 2005 before my credit card debt is paid off - that's only next year! - and 2008 before loans are repaid. Yippee - and I'm in control.
Relief!
Since completing the coaching and talking through this relationship I have with money I cannot tell you the relief I feel. And taking responsibility for my spending habits is empowering. At last I can see a debt free future, and I am going to enjoy getting there and I am going to be so happy that day too, what an achievement that will be.
I am lucky, I don't have to keep up a pretence that I have money any more. My friends and family who are aware of my situation have been terrific and really understanding, I seem to have touched on an issue that too many people are denying. Also, I am pleased to say a few have reviewed their own situation and have taken the trouble to tell me. The future holds promise and I am looking forward to whatever is around the corner, because I can take responsibility for myself, my decisions and the days, months and years ahead.
Claire
March 2004
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