Ask a Coach
All "Ask a Coach" Articles |Personal Answers
This is question 3 of 41
<< Prev | Next >>
Trouble putting theory into practice!
Answer by Anne Marshall
John asks:
I have been reading self-help books and articles for 25 years, yet I never seem to commit to following through with the exercises. I might start but not continue, Or I might say, yes, good idea, but never do anything about it.It is so frustrating to know that I readily embrace the notion of becoming a more fulfilled person, yet I do not support myself enough to gain from all this great advice.
Any suggestions for how to break out of this self-imposed prison?
Anne Marshall says:
Hi John,
this is an excellent question to ask and you are not alone in asking it. Many people have a somewhat blurred vision of a better and more fulfilling life but are not willing to take the action necessary to bring that vision into sharp focus and commit to an action plan to make it real.
As you have discovered reading self-help material alone will do little for you, you must take action otherwise it becomes like looking at a map and expecting to arrive at your destination without making the effort to plan the route and actually start the car!
In other words without some effort and commitment on your part your goals will just remain a daydream.
Is it right for me?
So the first step is to ask yourself - with complete honesty - if you really want these changes. Many people strive hard for peace and contentment, so if you already have that, then congratulations, you need do no more.
Just because an idea sounds good in a book doesn’t mean you have to embrace it as your own and trying to achieve a goal that someone else has set for you can leave you with a feeling of lack of motivation and little enthusiasm.
Yet you ask, "how do I break out of this self-imposed prison" which implies you are uncomfortable enough to set some goals for yourself and take action. So what is stopping you?
Creating change in our lives can often be challenging and can sometimes bring up a great deal of personal resistance. This is usually because our inner beliefs and self-talk are in opposition to what we are striving for. So you need to bring some clarity to this situation, rather light putting the light on in a dimly lit room so that you can see clearly what is really there.
Begin by turning your vague vision of a better life into some measurable goals that can be grounded in practical everyday reality.
Getting S.M.A.R.T.!
Using S.M.A.R.T (Specific, Measurable, Action orientated, Realistic and Timed) goal setting techniques can be tremendously valuable here. Try asking yourself the following questions:
- What specifically do I want to want to achieve?
- How will I know when I’ve got it. What exactly will have changed for me?
- Is this a realistic goal that I can begin to take some action on right now?
Finally are you actually willing to be, do, or have this thing?
If you are then get your diary out and commit to a time line of action to get you there. If you find yourself resisting the idea of change no matter how attractive it might sound to your conscious mind, it may well be that a part of you is in disagreement with the plan and is blocking your path.
If this is the case then it can be tremendously useful to work alongside a professional coach for a while to help you release any inner blockages you may have to success.
The start of the New Year is an excellent time to take steps to reaffirm your self-worth and I like to think of it as a time to create solutions rather than resolutions. Do you to value yourself enough to take action?
Finally have a sense of humour and compassion for yourself in all of this and decide now if the end result is valuable enough for you to take action.
All the very best,
Anne
This is question 3 of 41
<< Prev | Next >>
