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I can't forget my ex-boyfriend
Answer by Francine Kaye
Donna asks:
Three years on I feel as if I am grieving for an ex-boyfriend. I spent five years with him letting and putting me down and just totally ignoring my needs.He was never abusive just mean with his time, we never spent birthdays, Christmas or holidayed together but he would often turn up when we would have sex, which was always good. I felt embarrassed by the relationship.
I eventually realised that I could not live my life waiting on him. I finished the relationship in a cowardly way by not returning his calls but memories of him plague me continually.
Why can't I seem to let go of his memories.
Francine says:
Here's what I know about letting go. When you commit to letting go of something, what you are actually doing is making space for something new to enter.
The risk is that you may get hurt again or make the same mistakes. However, if you don't take the risk you'll never know what's possible and you'll never be fully alive. Anyone who has successful relationships or careers takes risks. It's part of living full out.
My hunch here is that the fear of beginning again is stronger than the pain of releasing the memories. The truth is that the past is past, you cannot change it. What you can change however, is how you react and live in the present moment.
So the choice is yours -either you get on with your life, use the past to learn from and grow from and immerse yourself in your career, your friends and have fun or you begin 2004 carrying the same heavy burden which has kept you stuck for years and prevents you from moving forward.
You can do this Donna. Life is too short and too precious to waste - get out there and live it!
This is question 25 of 41
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