1. Be prepared

Spend at least half an hour reviewing your current wardrobe. What will see you through to the end of summer? What needs to go right now? How can you update for autumn/winter?

Make a list. Stick to it!

2. Marks out of 10

Not sure if it’s quite what you want? Get into the habit of giving prospective purchases marks out of 10. Walk away for a minute. Anything below an 8 isn’t worth your hard-earned cash. Keep looking till you find your 10/10.

3. Look for classic pieces

Now is not the time to stock up on gypsy skirts and knitted shrugs. Avoid current or passing trends in favour of classic, timeless pieces. Shop a little out of your financial comfort zone. Quality and simplicity is key.

This season, you’ll find great trench coats, crisp tailoring, simple dresses, lots of white black and grey. These items are fail-safe. Stick to these, and you’ll be eternally stylish.

4. Don’t be afraid to come home empty handed

Can’t find anything on your list? Resist the temptation to buy items just for the sake of having a bag to take home. If you really can’t stand the idea of leaving empty handed, allow yourself a small treat, such as an accessory. Have a budget in mind here, too.

5. Shop smart

Remember that a bargain is only a bargain if you use it! That full-length evening dress may look divine on the hanger, but how many Black Tie functions do you actually attend?

Make sure your purchases fit your lifestyle, personality and figure. Lots of shops have an exchange-only policy on sales purchases, so shop wisely. To indulge your extravagant side, leave your purse at home and do some serious fantasy shopping!

By getting rid of unflattering garb, the way is cleared for a new, improved you. A careful reassessment of what you wear is a truly transforming experience.

Follow my guidelines, and you could change your life.

By ridding yourself of the dross, paradoxically you will find you have MORE of everything.

• More wearable, worthy clothes
• More time – you’ll get dressed so much quicker!
• More money no more impulse buys
• More confidence
• More control

Getting Started

To totally revamp -with the emphasis firmly on VAMP -your wardrobe, you will need:

• Best part of a day, uninterrupted
• Bin bags, boxes
• Plastic or wooden coat hangers
• Good, uplifting music
• Bags of energy and a positive attitude

First of all, take every single thing out of the wardrobe. Place on the floor or bed. Right now, remove any non-seasonal items. Box these up and allocate a storage space for them. We need to clear the decks.

Next, create a reject pile and cast aside ANYTHING that is:

• Broken
• Stained
• Doesn’t fit and never will. Enjoy how you look NOW
• Old and tatty
• Dated
• Baggy and shapeless
• Totally un you.

Take a step back and have a good look at what’s left.

Silent Language

What are your clothes REALLY saying about you? Do you like what you hear? Anything not reflecting your true personality can go on the reject pile.

You are bound to be left with a number of garments you still have doubts about. Try these on, and take a long look in the mirror.

• Does it still fit?
• Is it flattering?
• When did you last wear it? (Honestly)
• If you saw someone else wearing it, would you compliment him or her?

Ask yourself, is the garment worthy of being worn by the new you? If the answer is no, ditch it.

From now on, only choose to wear clothes that reflect you at your best.

Say Goodbye

Let’s just pause here and assess your cast off pile. How does it feel to be finally getting rid of this stuff? Make this an opportunity to take stock of your appearance, your self-image, and your life. So why do we choose to hold on to old clothes we no longer have use for?

They remind us of “The Good Old Days” –youth, a lost relationship, a life before kids, slimmer times.

The truth is, these clothes are probably shabby and dated. They are taking up precious space you could be using to expand into your new beautiful self. If you need to keep a memory, find another symbol: a photo, piece of jewellery or a letter.

Live In The Present

Resolve to live in the present. Let go of these clothes and make room for your new life.

Maybe you have items you bought but never wear, and feel guilty about. Hanging on to these shopping mistakes won’t change that situation, but perpetuate it. Stop beating yourself up by with the constant reminder every time you open the wardrobe.

Why not take them to a Dress Agency, and earn some money back? Or do some good and take them to the Charity Shop? Perhaps you’ve lost some weight, but still hang on to your “fat clothes.”

Bin these now, and let go of the temptation to slip back into your old habits. If you DO put the weight back on, the clothes you’re hoarding will probably be out of style, anyway.

Bag up your rejects right now and take them away. No regrets. Let’s look to the future!

There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with your life to want to run a check, and ensuring your life is still fresh and in good shape is preferable to waiting for a crisis to prompt a change.

I’m going to work with you here to reappraise the different areas of your life. This is a terrific opportunity to take a look at your home, career, self-esteem and money.

Quality of life

The place for us to begin our inquiry is with your home. Improving the quality of your life begins at home. Putting your house in order can mean just that, organising your home so that it enhances and supports the rest of your life.

As the pace of modern life speeds up, the greater the need for your home to provide you with sanctuary, a retreat where you can relax and recharge. The more complex your life, the more important your home becomes as a place to unwind and unravel.

Having a solid base, a place to call home, underpins your life, strengthening every other area, giving you a sense of feeling grounded and secure. Home is the one place where you can really feel safe. We Brits, more than any other nation are obsessed with owning our own home.

Renting like the New Yorkers or Parisians holds no appeal. Perhaps it’s our island mentality that drives us to own our own piece of the world, but we all share a desire to have our own place. This is something Mrs Thatcher fervently encouraged in the eighties, and, nowadays, with the widespread availability of mortgages, investing in bricks and mortar is open to more of us than ever before.

The need to “cocoon” ourselves from a busy, sometimes hostile world was first identified by the trend spotter, Faith Popcorn, over twenty years ago. Since then, we have seen an explosion of home delivery and home shopping services that allow us to nest and snuggle up, entertaining ourselves in our own homes. Popular home improvement programmes such as Changing Rooms and House Doctor and the upsurge in DIY confirm that, now, more than ever, your home really is your castle.

Clean home, happy home

Even housework has become hip as we reconnect with our inner domestic goddess and learn to love cleanliness and respect housework. Whether it’s Kim and Aggie from “How Clean is your House” or Rita Konig, Vogue’s glamorous housework columnist, there’s no shortage of experts encouraging you to clean up your life with a good clearout.

But this surge of interest in the art and craft of proper homekeeping should not really be surprising – a smoothly run, clean home not only gives immense pleasure, but it actually saves time and stress.

Jennifer’s story

I remember meeting a new client, Jennifer, in her home, a vast loft style apartment overlooking the River Thames in London.

The place was incredibly impressive with breathtaking views, but it felt cold and uninviting. I couldn’t imagine anyone actually living there. It had the look of one of those uber-trendy hotels, the sort that look great but feel awful. The kitchen was full of cutting edge appliances that she’d clearly never figured out how to use.

As a successful city lawyer, life was fast for Jennifer and she felt she’d forgotten how to slow down and relax. She was getting increasingly tired, feeling overwhelmed and out of control with her life.

I suggested she begin to make her new flat into more of a welcoming environment that she’d look forward to coming home to and spending an evening in, at least twice a week. She had to really think about softening up the entire place to be a more relaxing place to be in.

Cooking a meal for herself, even heating up a take-away was progress as she’d actually be eating from home. The more time she spent doing this, the more she came to love this downtime, and the more energy she had as a result.

I also encouraged her to throw an open-house party and meet all her other neighbours. She had been living there for nearly a year and hardly knew anyone by name. This was a tremendous success, with absolutely everyone coming and it really changed the atmosphere of the entire building from that moment onwards.

Coming home to a place that feels like a home provides you with a stability that you need in order to successfully handle a busy, ambitious life.

Homeworking

We’re happier working from home too. More and more of us are choosing to work at home rather than commute to an office. In a recent report by the UK Centre for Economic and Environmental Development more than 86 per cent of homeworkers surveyed felt more healthy as a result of their decision to work from home.

The same study also found that homeworkers were more efficient – with productivity up by anything from 60 per cent to 80 per cent.

Attending to your home, ensuring it provides you with a solid base for the rest of your life is vital. Investing a little time, thought and effort taking care of it will pay dividends giving you a feeling of comfort and control over your life. A tidy house and a tidy mind always go hand in hand.

I have to say, I was shopping the other day with my 7-year-old and we saw a Bratz House. We looked at it and I was astonished at a price tag of £189. I could not believe it, for a plastic house! This was great as it allowed for us to have a conversation about money.

However my heart went out as I know that many parents will be pestered and pestered for that house and parents all over the country will give in to make their children happy. The power of advertising!

We appear to have created a generation of parents who cannot say ‘no’, parents who seem unwilling or unable to set limits or draw the line anywhere. Is it that they feel more guilty as so many of them are working such long hours, or that our kids have just got better at asking, or is it that the advertising is just so good that we just cannot say no?

Me, Me, Me!

Whatever the reason, I have to say that I am concerned that we are raising a generation who are “wanting machines” - who respond to the marketing aimed right at them. They are growing up with a distorted sense of entitlement and we risk the next generation becoming self-centred and self-absorbed and growing up into adults that simply do not care.

And the figures are staggering.

According to market research, families of 3-12 year olds now spend $53.8 billion annually on entertainment, personal care items and reading material, $17.6 billion more that 1997.

And there is another worrying thought, does over-indulgence have a bad effect on school performance and relationships? Kids who get their own way most of the time are very demanding and much less likely to be able to form long-lasting, sustainable relationships with people.

This Christmas make a stand, decide that you are going to raise a responsible independent young adult who cares about others and is not just a ‘wanting machine’.

1. Get clear what you want as a parent

Most of us are so clear about trying to please our children and give them what they want that we forget about what we want. And I don’t mean material things, I mean what you want out of life – what do you want as a parent, what is your purpose for being a parent?

Now it may be that your purpose is to give your children absolutely everything they want and if that is the case, you are on course. If however, like me, your purpose is to raise a responsible and independent young adult who is caring and compassionate, what you are doing may be against where you really want to be.

So next time they say, “Mum can I have” check in with what you want as a parent and see if it fits.

2. Set a limit

I know it may seem obvious, but most parents don’t do it. Set a limit you are willing to spend on your child and let them know. Tell them that you want to feel good about Christmas too and that you are only willing to spend this much because Christmas is about so much more.

Be very clear that no matter what, you will not go over that limit.

3. What do they really think it will give them?

If they still continue to pester and pester, ask this question, “What do you think having that will give you?” I know you may stump them, but they will answer and if they don’t know, then why do they want it in the first place? When they tell you what they think having that thing will give them, ask them how they can get more of that into their lives now.

When we do this we realise that actually we did not want the thing, but only the quality we thought the thing would give us.

4. Encourage your budding entrepreneur

Now this one will really stop them, if they continue to ask, say that you are not prepared to pay for it and ask how you can support them in getting it. Now first they may turn to all the illegal things and they may need some prompting. You may need to ask how they can get the money; encourage their creativity.

Maybe they will sell things on E-bay, train others how to use Excel or build websites for others.

5. Giving vs. receiving

I play this game all the time with my 7-year-old. I teach her about giving and receiving and how they fit together. How, if you want to let something into your life, you need to let go of something in return. So when she asks for something, I ask what she wants to give in return.

Now I don’t do this to be mean or have her think about lack, I have it to open her up to the fact that money moves – it is not stagnant. I want her to understand the concept of giving and not just that of receiving. I can tell you, it has an amazing effect, she often changes her mind, she realises that she does not want it that much so she leaves it.

When she wrote her Christmas list this year, the first thing that she asked for was something for someone else. So use this concept, start a system of giving versus receiving. They may not respond at first. but keep trying it. Use it yourself first, start showing your child how you yourself incorporate it.

However, one thing all holidays do share in common is their potential to cause us considerable stress if our planning isn’t up to scratch.

With the summer holiday season upon us, I want to share some basic organisation tips to make sure your holiday is hassle-free.

Because our choice of holiday is as individual as we are, there’s no single format that will work for everyone – the prep for a week in Penzance will differ just a tad from the level of planning needed for two months in the Amazonian rainforests!

That said, there are some general pointers that should see you off to a trouble free break.

I travelled to Peru for three weeks in 2002, and I knew that it was going to be a life-changing experience, so I planned in advance to get the most out of the trip.

I want you to beat the post-holiday blues and get the most out of your break – be it local or international – so here are my five top tips to keep the holiday magic alive.

Tips for Keeping the Holiday Magic Alive

1. Plan your purchases

While you’re away, shop smart for souvenirs steer clear of novelty items that will just clutter up your home, and choose only things which will be beautiful or useful.

Good examples include jewellery or clothing that you can wear back home, and small household goods local ceramics or artwork, and utensils for re-creating local cuisine.

2. Capture the moment

Snapshots are an essential part of any holiday, and can be huge fun. Do remember to pick up local postcards too, as these will have been taken by professionals under optimum conditions, and if scenery is a big draw at your destination, then there will probably be local artists offering prints of their work at reasonable prices.

Consider creating a travel journal, or memory box, to keep selected shots and tickets stubs, brochures, cuttings etc.

3. Get into rhythm

If you’re travelling abroad, check the markets for recordings of local music, so you can summon up that holiday rhythm at will on the commute into work.

4. Celebrate your return

Beat the post-holiday blues by planning a celebration of your trip a few days after your return.

Invite friends and family over, cook a delicious meal inspired by your destination, play the local music you picked up, and share your best photos and stories.

5. Keep the magic alive

What did you enjoy most about your holiday? Did the leisure time give you any insights into what you’d like more of – or less of – in your life? Did you discover any new interests, or perhaps reveal an unexpected ability a knack for languages, or a sporting skill you never knew you had?

Holidays take us out of our everyday lives and as such can be extremely useful for giving us some perspective we eat, drink and live differently, and anything that has made your break enjoyable could be the key to creating a better life once you’ve returned.

This season, however, I’ve devised a hassle-free summer capsule, which will take you gorgeously from work to play, day to night.

Choose a scheme of 3 great colours, and hit the shops!

You’ll find these great basics anywhere from Primark to Prada. Just find what works for you.

The Capsule

1 pair of lightweight trousers the lighter the better. Side fastening, wide and straight styles are most flattering, and go with just about everything. Avoid side pockets. In summer, streamlined is better.

1 pair of tailored shorts knee length for an elegantly flattering look. These can be dressed down with ballet pumps or flip-flops, or worn with killer heels for added va va voom.

2 skirts 1 denim, I lightweight cotton or silk.

At least 1 dress Make it versatile, something you can wear sightseeing, but also dress up for dinner. A classic shift or shirt dress would fit the bill, but wrapover styles are still the order of the day for curvy girls.

3 plain cotton jersey tops halter neck, t-shirt or camisole, it’s up to you. Choose one in each of your colours.

1 floaty kaftan My absolute must-have. Great as a cover-up on the beach, but also great for day or evening with your lightweight trousers, dressed up or down.

2 casual tops a crisp white shirt would tie in well here. So would a short-sleeved cotton or silk tunic

1 evening top – choose something in your strongest colour

1 lightweight cashmere cardigan an elegant cover-up when the sun goes down. V-necks will work with almost anything. Choose one of your 3 colours, and then add:

A soft sarong in a different colour. You can wear this as an evening cover-up, or skirt-style on the beach.

1 pair of comfy flats ballet pumps or moccasins

1 pair of fabulous flip-flops jewelled or floral are fun

1 pair of heeled sandals wedges are great. Opt for metallic. They’ll blend with absolutely anything.

Now all you need do is throw in some up-to-the-minute sunglasses, aviator or large 70s style, a floppy hat, a bikini, a one-piece swimsuit and a large canvas tote.

And that’s pretty much it.

No doubt you’ll have some of these items already. Add the rest, and you’ve got a fail-safe summer survival kit. From the capsule described, you can achieve over 50 different looks.

Sounds to me as if a sartorial summer is well and truly sorted.

Your home is your castle. As you step into the front door it should embrace you, comfort you, and support you whatever life style you have.

As I sit writing to you, I look around and wonder why I feel so wonderful in my home. I see a beautiful vase of pure white roses and yellow freesias. This vision and smell not only appeal to my senses but truly lift my spirit.

When I glance at my window a stream of sunshine hits a crystal ball that in turn reflects the most beautiful colours into my room. The soft drapes hanging from my contemporary curtain pole soften the window frame and give the room an air of elegance and light.

The rich deep piled carpet is content to be the back drop to the flame red and orange rug in front of the fire place. A snug and welcoming spot especially on a chilly night!

That feeling of a home that’s cosy and comfortable, and lighting that is easy on the eye, with an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity – all this can only be achieved when we create it.

Heather’s Story

Earlier this year I met a client called Heather. Her face was pale and stressed as she described her feelings towards her home, which she could neither sell, nor feel relaxed in. So Heather asked me to come and look at her house.

As I stepped into her home it was clear to me why things were not as good as they could be. The Budget was £500. We spent £40 on paint and £460 on mirrors, lighting, soft furnishings, accessories and flowers.

After a couple of weeks of work on the house the transformation was very evident. Heather sold her house in the first week after the transformation.

Your Dream Home – Right Here, Right Now!

Are you waiting for your dream home? Why wait? Unlock your home’s potential. Make the best of what you have. You might even find you are living in your dream home. You just have not used your possibilities or spotted your home’s potential.

1. Make a fresh start.

Plan one room at a time. Find something beautiful, or something that captivates your imagination. It could be a painting, an ornament, a vase of flowers, a piece of fabric or clothing or something as simple as a post card. Look at it and write down what you like so much – for example its colour, its shape or its style.

This is a great way to start you off on choosing a colour scheme and might even lead you into another style you had not imagined living with.

2. Clean.

Have you ever heard of the saying ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’? Be your very own Gods and Goddesses! Clean your home well – don’t spare on the hot water, soap and elbow grease.

If you have no time to clean yourself – Call in help!  Start with cleaning your windows.

3.  Keep your rooms clear and give them purpose.

Here’s a checklist – adapt it to your own needs, but don’t leave anywhere out!

• Hallways and entrances – Keep clear from clutter; remember first impressions are very powerful. What does your entrance hall say about you? Flowers always make a nice welcome.
• Kitchen – Throw away stale food that has past its “sold by” or “use by” date. Sort out kitchen appliances. Keep only the ones in good repair and that you use. A beautiful bowl of fresh fruit is an instant blast of good. Buy fruit you like. Lemons or oranges look very effective on their own.
• Dining room – Don’t dump junk in the dining room. This is a place to retreat, eat and share with our family and friends. Collect things you would like to decorate your table with. For example: Shells, candles, crystals and serviettes. Collect things in groups of one colour as they will look more effective when used decorating your table.
• Living room – Replace old and tired soft furnishings. Make sure this is a fabulous part of the house you love to spend your time in. Buy an Up-lighter with a dimmer to add atmosphere with a wonderful wash of light to transform your living area.
• Bedrooms – Don’t compromise! Clear out the unuseful. Your bedroom should be your very own sanctuary. For a child that might mean having to hand their favourite toys and books – look at their room from their perspective. Men and women appreciate an attractive, warm welcoming space. Make your bedroom your very own temple.
• Bathrooms – Throw away old make-up, after shave and stale perfume. Purposely collect morning things and night things. Have to hand all that you need for a great start to the day. And have to hand the ready things that will help you relax at the end of a tiring day! Set the stage… make this room work for you to the maximum.

4. Be confident and resourceful.

We humans don’t always find change easy, especially in our home. Have the confidence to make positive changes! Take control of your personal environment, by looking at what you have and building onto the good parts.

If you always do the same you will always get the same. Make no excuses. Make an action plan today! Don’t make things a chore, work with an element of fun – expect the best!

5. Home Office.

When setting up a home office give yourself at least 6 to 9 square metres space.

Buy the most comfortable chair you can afford. Choose an area in your house where you will be least disturbed. If you share your home with other people don’t plan your home office spot to be in the main living area of the house. Balance between work and home can be achieved if you design it that way.

Good luck!

This article was written by Daphne Rotenburg who is an Interior Designer and ‘House Doctor’.

I’m familiar with its dark and sinister ways, and let me tell you that there are some simple formulas and tricks that beat a sharpened stake when it comes to getting straight at the heart of clutter.

Monsters In Disguise

The first thing you have to recognise about clutter is that it comes in disguise – no-one goes to Woollies and says “please give me five bags of your finest clutter” so you know you brought those items into the house for a good reason.

But this is when the tough part starts – what was that reason? And how do you stop them becoming clutter?

The biggest culprits for most people are clothing, children’s toys and paperwork. These things are in daily use, and there’s normally a fairly regular intake of new ones, all of which can add up to trouble.

Kitchen items come a close fourth especially if you buy tempting looking gadgets and never get round to using them.

You may well have other bad guys but this week I’m going to look at these four and give you some tips on stopping them getting in the house and creating havoc – you should be able to transfer some of the ideas to your own personal bugbear.

Obviously you can’t get rid of all your children’s toys, bin every last stitch of clothing, and seal up the letterbox to stop any more paperwork coming in – but you can make sure that you don’t invite in more than you strictly need, and that once they’re in they don’t get a chance to become clutter.

Get A System

The best way to do this is to introduce systems, for example have a letter tray where post that needs to be kept or actioned (eg bills, official documents, personal correspondence) can safely rest before being dealt with. And keep a bin beside it for junk mail!

I strongly recommend you choose at least one day a week for dealing with filing and stick with it – mine’s Tuesday, yours might be Sunday evening or Friday night. But whatever works for you, make it a regular appointment, and stick with it until the letter tray is empty and everything is where it needs to be.

Obviously truly urgent mail will need to be dealt with the day it arrives, but for most mail once a week is enough and far better than never.

Teddy’s Bedtime…

Children’s toys are best dealt with by getting a big box, basket or under-bed store and making it part of the bed-time routine to pick up toys and put them safely “to bed.”

Children over the age of toddling can usually do some of this themselves, which gets them into a good habit for later life and stops you feeling too much like the maid.

Keep an eye on well-meaning relatives and friends who deal with their own kid’s clutter by giving it to you – it can be hard to refuse politely (and you’re normally doomed if your child has actually seen the “gift” already) but take a bit of time to plan out effective ways of saying “No!”

My suggestion is to leap for the moral high-ground by saying you don’t want little Fatima to be spoiled with too many toys, or that thank you but Timmy has plenty of lovely toys already – remember that doodad you gave us for Christmas Aunty? He won’t be parted from that! – and you read a super article about how Oxfam/your local children’s hospital are doing an appeal right now for toys. Anything else can look ungrateful and petty.

People don’t really have dark motives in trying to give you their kid’s outgrown stuff but be very clear that it holds the potential for ongoing misery and take the issue seriously. You are the one who decides what your child needs, not anyone else, and you are the one who will have to live with too much clutter if you cave in.

Clothing, Or Clutter?

Your own clothing is a more subtle challenge – I truly understand the temptation to have far more clothes than you need, so your key point on this one is to stop acquiring things that won’t be worn.

Stopping clothing clutter from even entering the house is a bit simpler than dealing with mail because you’re in charge, and good habits to get into include doing a quarterly wardrobe assessment to see what needs replacing or which new items from the season’s trends you would like.

The Bargain Trap

Never – and I really do mean never – buy clothing solely because it’s cheap, unless you love it. This applies to accessories as well.

How to assess this? If you see an item that appeals mainly because of its low price (be it £3.99, £39 or £399, we all have a personal take on what’s a bargain) ask yourself this crucial question: would you be prepared to pay five times that amount, including having to save or economise in other areas to afford that?

If you truly love the item enough to pay five times more, then go for it, because it’s a real bargain and unlikely to nourish the clutter monster. And remember an expensive classic which lasts can cost less per wear than a tatty sweatshop-produced item that falls apart or goes shapeless after one wash.

Another important point is to always try clothing on in stores – yes, I know changing rooms are mostly hellish, but this way you don’t risk bringing home something that looked great on the hanger and rotten on you.

This will save you from spending even more time returning unsuitable goods, or worse yet wasting the money on something you’ll never wear.

Which brings us to unused kitchen goods, often another triumph of hope over experience.

“…a good idea at the time.”

Bread makers. Ice cream makers. Toasted sandwich makers. Slow cookers. Juicers.

Each of those things is one person’s kitchen essential, in regular use and adding to the quality of their life, and another person’s guilt-inducing kitchen clutter.

Very few kitchens in the UK can be described as having too much work surface space, yet most clients I have worked with have had at least one electrical appliance in the kitchen which was a dust magnet and space-thief.

Hopefully you’ve already begun to declutter since last week and rehomed or disposed of items you don’t use.

The simple trick is to not buy an appliance for yourself unless you already do the task it’s designed for.

By this I mean, for example, don’t buy a bread maker unless and until you’ve proven that you love making, and eating, fresh bread regularly.

Never buy appliances hoping they’ll change your lifestyle by their very presence – if you don’t like cooking, juicing or baking already then that won’t change with a new purchase.

Just in brief, that extends to expensive home fitness equipment, a huge space gobbler and normally ugly as anything – if you have an existing regular fitness routine then go for it, but if not, no treadmill or exercycle is going to change your basic behaviour.

Five Tips for Keeping Clutter out of Your Home

1. Think “Systems”

Tackling clutter without a framework of systems makes it Hard Work because you have to think and plan anew each time.

Think of your systems as the shortcuts to effective organisation and always be on the lookout to fine-tune and improve them.

Identify your personal biggest clutter categories and sit and plan how you can get them in order – take this planning seriously because it’s going to win you precious time and peace of mind once you get it right.

2. Try Before You Buy

If communal changing rooms send you into a cold sweat, why not plan a concealing ensemble that will allow you to slip clothes on and off without revealing anything.

May I suggest dark tights or tight leggings to hide everything up to your waist, and a close fitting long-sleeved jersey top for your body? You can even practice changing into clothes wearing these at home – remember that proper planning and preparation pays!

Clothes in stores can be slipped on OVER these, and if you round your ensemble off with a long loose skirt with an elasticated waist you’ll even be able to try on jeans without revealing any flesh. Comfy flat slip-ons mean you can spend longer prowling the stores, and waste no time fiddling with laces – you’re now ready to shop like a pro.

3. Enlist All Hands

Partners and children should at least not be adding to the problem, so when you discipline yourself to stop bringing in future clutter, everyone else needs to follow suit.

School artworks can be photographed and the pictures kept in an album, and this will help you painlessly limit the amount of junior art on display.

If you have a partner who’s always bringing things home that might be useful “one day” please refer them to last week’s article where I discussed how few of the things we keep “just in case” ever really come in useful. If you have examples to hand that have been waiting years to be used, bring them up to support your case.

And as a positive incentive, stress the endless potential for actually getting some things done once you have plenty of free space.

4. Make A Date

Experiment with having a post day, a laundry day, and stick to that as far as you can.

Knowing that one day a week you sort all of one category of stuff lets you relax and it won’t be hanging over you as a guilt-inducing unfinished task.

The whole point of a decluttered life is that it should be easier than living with clutter, and though it might feel like hard work at first, being able to trust yourself to keep things ticking over by addressing them each week will lighten the burden of unfinished tasks you carry around in your head.

5. Persevere

Most of us – me included – slip sometimes, things get a little out of hand, a system just sort of disappears and you’re faced with a mini clutter monster again. Sometimes it can even feel like one of those sequel heavy horror movies!

Never give in – because sooner or later, all things do have to be tidied up. It might be a visit from a colleague or relative, someone who comes to your assistance like a doctor or plumber, or just new friends you’d like to invite into your home, but sooner or later you will have to clear up and you might as well make it easy by doing it in small easy steps than face that dreadful last minute scramble.

Persist, persevere and with time you will find that your habits change and the whole idea becomes easier and more natural – and meantime you get all the benefits of living in a beautiful, comfortable clutter-free home with possessions which work for you and not against you.

They all spent time sharing what they’d done during the day and talked to each other when they had a problem to solve.

She went on to say that she just didn’t see how it was possible in today’s busy world to live anything like the Walton’s, but she would have loved to have the time to do so.

Her dilemma is not unusual.

Parental Guilt

Many parents feel they don’t spend enough time with their children because of longer working hours and time spent commuting to and from work, as well running a household.

Children are pulled away from the home as well; on the average, they have more homework, are involved in more extra-curricular activities and spend more time outside the home than they did 40 years ago. During an ordinary work day, the average parent spends 10 1/2 hours working and commuting, at least 10 hours doing housework and sleeping and less than two hours of quality time with their children.

Just being in the house at the same time as your kids are doesn’t necessarily mean you’re enjoying quality time together. Television has become a major source of separation within the family.

Too many family members spend more time in front of the television than they do relating to one another. In addition, computers, video games and telephones eat up a big chunk of family hours. Fewer and fewer families have regular family dinners together, go to a place of worship together or have family traditions and routines that they share on a frequent basis.

Time spent in this way is taking its toll. In addition to the climbing divorce rates, busy schedules and conflicting needs contribute to the deterioration in the sense of family closeness that helps children stay on the right track. Parents feel more frustrated, emotionally drained and distant from their children. Without careful consideration and deliberate changes in our priorities, the family will lose its meaning.

Prioritising your Family Time

So how do you make time for your family and still have time to work and play?

A friend of mine recently asked me two questions “do you ever rest?” and “how do you find enough time to spend with your family?”  It seemed to her that whenever she called me I was always working. She was surprised when I assured her that I had time for both.

I can understand why she felt compelled to ask.  I easily work a 50-hour week, am training as a Family Mediator, run a Time Management training arm of my business and coach clients on a daily basis.

On the other hand, I make sure that I do have at least four meals each week with my 19 and 16 year old; that I do make time to listen and talk with them, and I do have wonderful breaks abroad and plenty of time for my partner of 10 years.

So how do I manage it?  How do I keep my family life strong, my relationship blossoming and my rest time sacred and still have time to work.

Time to Choose

I’ve learned over the years that it’s not possible to make time for everything but I can make time for what’s most important to me. I have found that one of the easiest ways to prioritise my time is to ask myself this question “what most important to me in my life?”

What must I have? What do I value most?

For me it’s my family and my partner. So I have made some specific choices that allow me to do just that. One of decisions I made was to put my some of my many hobbies on hold.

This is a common starting point for those who choose to prioritise their families first. I had to admit that I simply could not keep up with all the hobbies I used to pursue if I wanted quality time with my kids.  I’m an avid learner and could easily be tempted to attend many seminars per year. It’s not that I’ve stopped my love of learning, but I’m really choosy about the benefits of what I choose now and I choose very wisely.

I don’t feel that I am sacrificing my hobbies time because I am choosing to spend it elsewhere. I know that as older teens, I have limited time to spend with my kids. They have lives of their own, so I choose to make time now while it’s on offer.

I know a man who loved golf. As you know, a game of golf takes very long time. He was a top-notch golfer. He gave his clubs away when his first-born son arrived. He prioritised his must haves and they turned out to be time with his son and time with his wife.

At some point many of us will choose to put on hold something we genuinely enjoy for the sake of a greater more substantial joy.

Turn off the Telly

Another “must have” for me is my writing. I love to write. However what I am writing doesn’t always have a deadline. As I write this its 9pm.  I have had dinner with my kids. We always have this at the table with the TV firmly off.

After dinner I had a brainstorming session with my daughter who is planning a social event, listened to my son rehearse his lines as Demitrius in Midsummer’s Nights Dream and I’m now ready to put in an hour or so writing this article for the newsletter, and another piece.

I am choosing not to watch television (although I admit I saw Eastenders) and having a break from the computer has left me more refreshed to continue. The point is that I am really choosing where and how to spend my evening.

Leave it in the Car

There will be occasions for most of us where we need to bring work home to do at the weekend or in the evening. To solve this dilemma, leave your briefcase, files, or anything else that you have brought home from work in the boot of your car.

You can easily grab what you need and bring it inside at the appropriate time. Out of sight, out of mind. If family time is important to you, you don’t want to be distracted by your briefcase in the hall.

Be disciplined enough to choose to invest your time in the family first and foremost. No one ever used their dying breath to say they wished they’d spent more time at work.

Start to make choices about your productivity and your investment in family life.  Bring changes into your routine little by little until they are second nature. In time, you’ll find that you have more time for what’s most important to you and for the people you care about the most.

It really is up to you.

Top Tips To Defend Family Time

1. What are the “must haves”?

Decide what you absolutely must make time for each day.

2. Be clear and decisive

Decide what you will say “no” to so that you can say “yes” to what’s most important.

3. Share meals

Have as many family meals per week as possible and use them to connect with your kids, and listen to them.

4. Make the most of time off

Plan your weekends & holidays so that you can include some family time, rest time and leisure time.

5. Get choosy!

5. Bring the word “choose” into your life. “Choosing” to do anything puts you in control of your time rather than fire fighting your way through your life.

William Morris said over a hundred years ago “Have nothing in your home you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

Apply this rule to your home as you make an inventory of every room. If you’ve hoarded and held on to things, enlist the help of a forthright friend to coach you through this. This clearing out task alone is marvellous and will leave you feeling thoroughly uplifted.

You should also be ready to throw out all your unwanted Christmas presents by now. Give them to a charity shop, so you don’t feel wasteful. Avoid feeling overwhelmed by all of this by tackling one room at a time. Detoxing never felt so good!

2. Clean Up

A good clearout deserves a thorough cleanup. We’re talking cupboards, inside and out, skirting boards and walls. Pull out all the furniture and vacuum, turn the mattresses. Throw open the windows as you dislodge cobwebs and sweep away dust.

Wash windows, front and back, as a clean window lets in so much more light. Don’t neglect the outside of your home, even the pathway leading to it. Your objective is to end up with a home that sparkles, looks immaculate, cared for and cherished.

3. Address your Wardrobe

Getting ready for a new start and a new year naturally includes your wardrobe. Have an immediate clearout of your wardrobe disposing of everything that obviously needs to go, that’s worn out or you haven’t worn in the last year.

Now is the time to re-evaluate your personal style and what you want to project. Your appearance and choice of dress speak volumes about you. Take control of the message. Decide now what you want to say. To make this easier, identify other individuals whose style and personality impresses you, cut out pictures from magazines and hone in on
the best look for you.

Now, revisit your wardrobe. With your enhanced clarity, what else needs to go, that no longer represents the new you? Now, you can have fun putting together your look and listing the items you’ll buy to show you off to best effect.

When shopping, buy less but buy better. You never want to end up with a wardrobe that’s so full, it’s difficult to see at a glance what you’ve actually got. Remember the theory that we end up wearing less that 20% of what we own? Ensure that’s not the case for you!

4. Does it work?

Inspect all your electrical goods and appliances. Do any of them need replacing or repairing? Does your boiler need servicing? Is the central heating reliable? Check the washing machine or dishwasher? These are the basics in your life that, when they are neglected and break down, can cause havoc.

Ensure their good working order now. Which reminds me, check your home insurance is up to date too!

5. Get creative

Now that you have a cleaned-up space to work on, you can have fun and begin to create your ideal home. Your goal is to turn your home, or at least parts of it, into “a glimpse of heaven” -somewhere so beautiful and uplifting that it raises your spirits to be there.

Begin with your bedroom and bathroom. These are your closed-to-the-public areas and where you will retreat to for rest and reflection. Ensure work is kept away from these areas and you have as much clear space as possible.

Piles of crumpled clothes, for example, will make it impossible to switch off, as you’re constantly reminded of what you haven’t done. In the bathroom chuck out all those almost-empty bottles that you haven?t used and tidy away cosmetics and make-up other than everyday essentials.

Your aim is to be able to repose in a bath and soothe your senses with your gaze taking in only truly aesthetically pleasing images. A beautiful photograph, a small vase of tulips, a scented candle is ideal.

6. Don’t be a martyr

All dynamic, effective people understand the importance of delegation. In creating your ideal home, and keeping it that way, you may need help. There’s nothing glamorous or fun about feeling exhausted or put upon. Domestic bliss is not the same as domestic drudgery.

If you share your home with others, get them involved and signed up to a regular rota of shared responsibility. Motivate them by baking a fabulous Victoria sponge cake in your new Cath Kidson apron, while they vacuum the place from top to bottom.

Pull the family together on a Saturday morning with a collective clean. Put some upbeat music on and get going. Intriguingly, Japanese companies often insist that the actual employees clean the workplace rather than using separate cleaners. They feel that this fosters a better company spirit and workers are more likely to care for and keep their environment pristine if they are the ones doing the cleaning!

If you live alone and have a demanding job, don’t hesitate to employ a cleaner. You can do the finishing touches once the basics have been handled. Get organised. Under no circumstances should creating an ideal home lead to you being a martyr.

7. Establish Your Style

It’s important to that your home reflects who you are and how you want to be seen. Is your style funky and edgy or elegant country home? Or do you like the idea of a mixture of styles to create a confident, individual look? Expose yourself to great designs and ideas.

Look through interiors magazines, visit home styling shops. Begin to identify your signature style. Develop your taste and appreciation for what works and harmonises together. Be your very own connoisseur of what is beautiful to you. Take one room at a time and make a plan of how it could be best improved.

8. Allocate a budget

List all work to be done, materials to be used and any items of furniture, fabric, appliances and accessories to be purchased. Have a plan of action and an overview of the cost. This is the key to making it all happen and, remember, you don?t have to buy everything at once.

Far better to wait and save up to get exactly what you want than make do with something you’ll never really love.

9. Don’t be a hermit

Making your home a delightful place to be shouldn’t mean that you rarely venture outdoors! If you’re relying on your home to protect you from outside pressures, or finding friends, be careful. You may need to reassess the amount of stress you are living with in your work or whether a lack of confidence is keeping you indoors.

Guard against using your four walls to keep people at a distance. It’s all too easy, especially if you live alone, to isolate yourself from others. Your home should not feel like a prison, nor should it feel like a fortress from a harsh world.

Look at how you spend your leisure time and ensure you have a healthy balance of “me-time” and social-time. Bring in fun and friends by having a monthly dinner party. Your home will take on an atmosphere of lightness and laughter as a result.

Get involved with a neighbourhood activity that gets you meeting and mixing with neighbours and local people. This is vitally important if you live alone. We all need to feel rooted and “at home” in our neighbourhood.

10. Location, location.

Do you love where you live? Does your neighbourhood feel safe? Are your neighbours pleasant and friendly? These are all vitally important to the smooth running of your life.

It never ceases to amaze me when I read of neighbours who have been feuding for years. Ongoing, unrelenting tension like this causes tremendous stress, taking a terrible toll on your health, even if you do get used to it.

Think about moving to an area you’d prefer to live in, make peace with the neighbours, or make plans to move. If you’re in the city and long for the countryside, make this year the one to make your move. And, if you feel the need for some stimulation and bright lights, come to town. Find the place that’s right for you. If you’re planning to reinvent yourself, it may be hard to do it without moving.

Changing yourself and staying in the same place rarely works. A change in you may include a change of home.