Part Two

Is it Really Your Goal?

Take a few moments to write down your Goal so that you know exactly what it is.

The No.1 reason for goal failure is that people have ‘should’ and ‘borrowed’ goals. For example, does ‘everyone says I should save up for a mortgage‘, actually mean ‘I want to buy a house‘, or that you just feel you should have that goal. When you mean  ‘I want to meet a partner‘, do you instead say ‘I should lose weight and get fit‘?

The truth is that ‘should’ and ‘borrowed’ goals come from other people, not your true authentic self. This means that because your goal does not fit in with your values it has no real energy or driving passion.

If someone tells you that you should be doing something, you’ll probably feel threatened, rather than motivated. And if you do try to make it happen you’ll soon lose heart and not see it through because it’s a ‘should’ goal.

So, stop and check, is it really your Goal? Does it come from who you really are right now?

If you are overweight and have been trying to lose weight for years, chances are there is something else that would be a more authentic goal, like raising your confidence and your self-esteem. Once you’ve done that, getting the body that matches the fabulous new you might not be so hard after all.

Does your Goal support and compliment your core life values? If the answer is yes, congratulations! You are now on your way to setting achievable goals. If it’s not, cross out your Goal, and ask yourself, is there something else that is a true Goal for me right now, which will really make me happy, even if it seems impossible?

Part Three

Write it down!

Now that you know what your goal is, what about knowing when you’ve got it?

One Sunday afternoon, my neighbour’s young son was playing football in the garden, and he scored a goal. Amongst the cheers, I asked him, ‘How do you know you’ve scored a goal?’ he joyously replied ‘When the ball hits the back of the net, of course!’

He’s absolutely right because he is describing an end result. Something which gives tangible evidence that tells you the Goal has been achieved.

Now that you understand your goal, take a few moments to understand what your end result is. If your Goal is to move house, think about which area, which road. If your goal is to lose weight, what size will you be wearing? Are you ready to score that Goal? Good! Now you’re ready to go to the thought and actions for the week.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. On a piece of paper, write down your Goal

Write it in terms that are really inspiring to you. For example, ‘I want my own home’, could become, ‘I want my own home which is a place decorated in white with wooden floors where I can have peace and tranquility and entertain my family and friends

2. Now make a list of 5 reasons why you know this goal is a true Goal

3. Make a list of 5 ways in which your life will be better when you’ve achieved your Goal

4. Make a Goal Card

Write down your Goal on a small piece of card and carry it around with you in your wallet or diary. This is your ‘Goal Card’. Keep it safe, you’ll be writing on the back of the card in Week Four.

5. Dream a little

Look out for and collect magazine cuttings, pictures, words and objects which inspire you to achieve your goal. Get a pretty box or set aside a drawer and start saving these, you’ll need them later on in this course.

Do all these actions before moving on, they will prepare you for Week 2, when you will be preparing to receive and finding out about ‘ART’.

Part Two

Planning for the future

Take a piece of paper and, on the top of the page, write ‘My Goal – Where I want to be’. On the bottom of the page, write down today’s date and, ‘Today – Where I am ‘

Now take a few minutes to write down a list of all the things that you believe must happen before you can get from where you are today to where you want to be. Keep writing, because anything that comes to mind will have some relevance.

For example, if you want to go and live in New York next February, would you need to rent out your flat? Sell your car? What about the dog, your belongings? How much notice do you need to give if you quit your job?

The ART in achieving your Goal

The ART is about :

• whether the goal is Achievable as you are today
• whether you need to do other things first to make it a Realistic Goal
• helping you set a suitable Timescale in which to achieve your Goal.

Look at what you’ve written, and be honest – how much of what is there is really relevant to making your Goal a reality?

Have you written things because you were being cautious and staying in your comfort zone? If, in the moving to New York example, I had written, ‘need to save one year’s salary before I can go,’ am I being honest or just fearful? Is it possible to go and live in another city without having a huge backup of funds beforehand?

Remind yourself that where there is a genuine will, there is always a genuine way, and cross out anything that’s not ‘you taking yourself seriously’.

Part Three

Take control

Go through your list again, and this time identify all the things you have control over and those that are dependent on other people. Tick the ones you have control over.

One of the key points in the goal setting preparation is to know what you have control over and to concentrate on that, because you can do something about it easily and efficiently. For example, if you need to learn to speak French, then you can make the decision today to enrol on a course, buy some tapes or even start listening to French radio stations.

By concentrating on the things you have power over, you give yourself more power to generate the results you want. For everything else that is dependent on another person’s response, if you recognise the challenge but focus intently on finding a solution you will be amazed at how you begin to generate your own luck in making things work for you.

Now you know you are taking yourself seriously. You also know that there are things you have control over, and how to make it work for you where you don’t. You’re now in the powerful position of being prepared to receive.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Use your answers from the exercise above and make a new list of all the things you now recognise as being a ‘must’ for you to have your goal come true.

Find two things that you can do this week and schedule in a time to do them.

2. Look at the list of things that you have control over and decide an action you will now take for each one

3. Make a list of all the things outside your control and write a solution for each

4. Write down your Goal and this time describe the ‘ART’ in it – how you know it is achievable, realistic and also when you want it

5. Now think about all your best qualities and skills. Make a list of the things that are great about you, and that you are good at

Well done! Keep your list safe for next week, and do all the actions to get ready for next week when you will be finding out how a double G and T can help you set your Goal!

Part Two

Don’t accept limitations

It was believed for a long time that it was not physically possible for humans to run a mile in less than four minutes. However in the 1960′s a runner called Roger Bannister blasted through that four minute barrier.

His greatest tool was his total focused belief that he could do it.

What was more amazing is that in the year after his record-breaking run, 25 other people also broke the record! Previously this had seemed impossible, but Bannister’s success helped other runners to step ‘out of the box’ which restricted their thinking.

We all know the saying, ‘a bad workman blames his tools’. It’s the way some people think that they can be excused their shortcomings by blaming something else, so that it’s not apparently their fault. Often these people are hiding feelings of inadequacies and uncertainties and fears which centre around low self-esteem and low confidence in themselves. Of course, you’re not like that, or you wouldn’t be here!

Polish your skills

Before you can polish your tools you need to have identified what’s in your tool kit. Last week one of your actions was to make a list of the things that are great about you and that you are good at. These things will give you a big clue as to what’s readily being used in your toolkit.

Once you know what is working and in use, ask yourself if it’s enough to achieve your goal. Perhaps you still need to upgrade your self confidence to get that promotion, or polish your self esteem to move on from relationships that are not working.

Part Three

Focusing on you

Whoever you are and whatever you want, you have in your toolkit three essential tools. These are self-knowledge, self-confidence and self-belief.

Self-knowledge

Self-knowledge is a very special tool, because only you are the expert on yourself. When you know who you are and who you choose to be you can focus with clarity on ensuring that your own needs are being catered for. This will make you happier and energised and you’ll naturally be able to bring your goals into reality. It will allow you to raise your awareness of what can help you to get the results you want.

Self-confidence

Self-confidence is another magic goal getting tool. When you have polished this tool you will not only know what you want and think positively, but you will now know that you try your best at all times.

Self-belief

Self-belief is like the super twin of self-confidence. When you believe that you are worth it and you deserve it with true inner optimism you will create solutions where others wallow over obstacles. Those who do not polish their self-confidence and self-belief set themselves up for failure.

That won’t happen to you because you know that playing safe and staying in your comfort zone is a safety blanket between you and your Goal. With unshakable self-belief you are armed against any attacks of stalling thoughts of fear of failure.

There is nothing selfish about being self-focused.

It’s a necessary part of evolving into something better and greater. People who care about themselves and put themselves first to nurture their wellbeing find inner fulfillment and naturally move towards helping and inspiring others.

Part Four

Start right now

Now you are ready to polish your goal getting tools, how do you begin? It’s easier than you think.

Becoming confident is a skill you can acquire by using a new language to create a new way of expressing yourself. Like all skills, practice makes perfect, so practice it often and with purpose. Begin now. Choose this moment as the turning point in creating a better toolkit.

Focus on self-care. Take actions to ensure you are supporting your physical well being through exercise, adequate sleep and healthy eating. Take actions to stop you slipping into negative thinking patterns, whether they involve your thoughts or those of other people. Believe in yourself even if those around you don’t.

Remember Roger Bannister – he had no supporters who believed he could break the world record. Refuse to settle for anything less than that which will support you 100% in getting your goal.

Part Five

Use your time wisely

Over the past two weeks; you’ve started to use your thinking tools of clarity, focus, understanding, creative thinking and planning. This week you’ll begin to use time wisely to take actions which will polish your tool kit.

If you feel that you currently lack confidence, time, energy or money, then work on polishing your mental tool kit. Begin by polishing the way you see things. If you want more confidence, focus on getting more confident every day.

If you need more time, first remind yourself that everyone has exactly the same amount of time down to the last second, so look at what you do with your time to create more freed-up time. A good way to do this is to ask yourself, ‘Is this the best use of my time right now?’ By constantly doing this, you’ll begin to raise your awareness of the way you live your daily life.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Look at your list of qualities and skills you wrote last week. What tools do they represent in your Goal Getting Toolkit? For example, if you are good with people, your tool might be communication.

2. Make a list of all your tools, under the heading My Goal Getting Toolkit. Underline your best ones. What other tools must you acquire and polish up to get your Goal?

3. Write down one way you will acquire or polish the tools you want to improve

4. Each day this week, take two actions to polish your tools.

For example, if organisation is one of your tools, schedule in a day when you will be super organised. You can begin with simple everyday things like organising your evening meal before you leave for work, planning your television time, by only switching on when there is programme you want to watch.

If you want to boost your self esteem, schedule in time for a new haircut, have your nails done, if you want to learn a new skill, go and visit a library or book shop after work, look at the courses on offer.

If you want to be more confident, choose three days in the next week when you will live as though you have more confidence than you did the day before.Take the initiative, be the one who organises the next social get together.

Do your actions and continue to look for inspirational words and pictures that support your Goal, because next week you’ll be doing something fun with them!

Part Two

Take a look in the mirror because…

It’s YOU!

…yes, it’s time to be your own strongest supporter.

Part Three

Think positive

Maybe you are thinking, ‘that’s ridiculous, of course I support my goal, I was hoping for someone else to support me‘.

But the truth is that many people don’t support themselves consistently, and until they do outside support is of no use.

We allow ourselves to get distracted and down-hearted with negative self-talk. This internal chatter impacts your subconscious thoughts and acts as a poor excuse not to succeed. Make a decision to call a halt to negative thoughts, because anything which you say or think which doesn’t support you to get your Goal will interfere with your ability to intuitively make the right choices and decisions.

Your subconscious mind is like a one way Dictaphone. It doesn’t answer back, but accepts and records everything you say or think. And it always agrees with you.

If you get up in the morning and say to yourself, ‘this morning I am going to get everything done and have time to enjoy myself’, your subconscious mind will register, ‘yes, you’ll have time to do everything and enjoy yourself!’ If you say, ‘I’ve got so much to do today, I haven’t got time to enjoy myself’, that’s the message it will register.

Part Four

The power within you

It’s time to recruit your subconscious mind to support you unconditionally to achieve your Goal. Begin by introducing positive auto-suggestions into your daily life.

Auto-suggestions are thoughts and sayings you make to yourself about yourself. If your goal is to deliver a brilliant sales presentation, suggest to yourself that you are a brilliant presenter. Don’t refer to past achievements, for although our subconscious mind has stored up every action, reaction and inspiration you have had throughout your life, It tends to act in the present tense, so talk to it in the present term.

If you think or say, ‘I want to meet a partner who loves me’, your subconscious will register, ‘yes, you want to meet someone who loves you’. But if you change the wording to ‘I am loved by my partner’, your mind will say, ‘yes, you are loved by your partner’.

This simple but important change in use of words, if reaffirmed regularly, will actually change your thoughts and actions and create the opportunities to make it a true statement.

Part Five

Build a support network

When you are fully on board as your number 1 supporter, you are ready to gain support from others.

Have you ever gone to other people for their ideas on something, or for moral support or encouragement? Some people naturally make you feel energised by their enthusiasm and certainty that everything will be fine. You may have also experienced the feeling of being drained by someone who is not aware of your needs or who always sees the glass as half empty. Common sense dictates that when you ask for support you should spend more time with those who inspire you and avoid those who don’t!

Surround yourself with people who share your dream. If you are setting up your own business, seek out local networks which advise and support start-ups. If the support you want isn’t around you, create it. Ask for it. Get a coach, get a mentor, find a jogging partner.

At the same time, remember that while other people can help guide you or come up with a new angle on a challenge, you don’t need approval from others to believe in yourself. That must come from you. Focus on believing on the value of your Goal, not only to yourself but also to everyone that it will concern.

If your goal is for your good and the good of others, you will find that support comes naturally from within you and around you.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Create a fabulous affirmation that inspires you to totally support yourself. Write it down on the back of your ‘Goal Card’ which you made in Week 1.

2. Write an ‘I support myself’ letter, explaining how you totally believe in your Goal and how you totally support yourself in gaining and generating constant support for as long as it takes. Post the letter to yourself, because reading it will inspire you throughout your goal getting journey!

3. Remember all those cuttings and inspirational words you’ve been collecting over the past three weeks, well now comes the fun bit! You are going to use all those wonderful pictures and words to create a special Goal collage. Put on some music, and stick them onto paper or card, adding glitter, shining stars, photographs of yourself and those who support you.

4. Start a goal setting group. Get in touch with four or five people who inspire you and have fabulous ambitions of their own. Together you can support each other in getting your goals. This can be through group meetings, or even on the phone but make it fun and inspiring!

5. This week eliminate the use of the words, ‘I’ll try’ and replace them with ‘I will find a way’, or ‘I will give my best effort’.

Do all your actions and enjoy putting together your Goal collage. Look at it every day and feel inspired, and next week you will learn how to make it happen!

Part Two

Stay on course

Obstacles and setbacks will crop up, but keep positive and maintain your enthusiasm, even if you have to go back and repeat some of the steps. All that matters is that you are doing things to get you closer to your Goal. If your goal is to wear a pair of jeans in a lower size and you end up over-eating at a party, then how do you make it happen? You do what a pilot does when he’s steering a plane, you direct back onto the right course for your destination.

Being able to steer a course around obstacles, whether you create them yourself or others put them in your way, comes easily and naturally when you learn to be flexible and seek constant improvements. Remember, you are the engineer of your goal. You have the power to redesign the route to take you to your goal if necessary.

Part Three

Avoid distractions

You will succeed in making it happen if you refuse to give up. You will succeed in making it happen if you don’t rely on other people’s opinions or approval. If there are times when you feel that you’re not progressing, ask yourself if you still desire what you are working towards. If you do, then see if there is something else that needs your attention first before you can progress to the next level.

It might actually be something that is easy to organise, and your best tool in making it happen is sharp awareness, a tool that you polished in Week 3 when you focused on yourself. Through awareness you avoid wasting time on distractions. Ask yourself, ‘Is this the best use of my time right now?’ and do what is best. This helps you to prioritise things on your ‘to do’ list. Once you are aware and ready, opportunities come up all the time because you’ll be looking out for them.

Part Four

Steer clear of the Goal Poppers!

Ever been to a party and met those people who complain about the food, music and drinks? The Party Poppers! I usually keep away from them. Similarly, in order to truly make something happen, which is very dear and special and important to you, you must also protect your goal from ‘Goal Poppers’.

Surprisingly, these ‘Goal Poppers’ might be right there under your nose, people who are friends, neighbours, work colleagues. Anyone who doesn’t share your enthusiasm for your Goal or care whether you achieve it will inadvertently try to ‘pop’ it. So spend time with people who will nurture your dream and energise you, and don’t discuss it with those who will sabotage it. Even those you love and who love you may not understand why you have this Goal.

Remember it’s your Goal, and if you protect it and work on it you can make it happen.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Arrange a night in or out with friends who inspire you

Celebrate living a life where you use your limitless power to make goals happen. Share your inspirations and ideas with each other.

2. Choose a day this week and live and react as though you had achieved your goal.

For example if you want a new partner, spend the day behaving the way you would if you had a new partner, this might mean taking extra effort with your appearance, feeling happier and unbothered by office politics, perhaps cooking a special meal that evening. Live as much of it as you can, to prove that you do want it and deserve it, for example, if your goal is to drive a sports car, when you get into your car, drive with the smile and confidence you’d have if you were in that cool sports car. Enjoy it!

3. Think ahead into the future.

Imagine you have achieved your Goal. See yourself in your success feeling happy and fulfilled. Now, imagine someone asking you how you made it happen. Write down what you’d say to them, beginning with, ‘I made it happen by…’

4. Make a list of all the things that must still happen for you to achieve your Goal, phone a supporting friend and discuss workable solutions to these.

5. Get your diary and schedule in time to take action on these things and celebrate when you’ve taken some positive action.

Well done, you are nearly there. Make time to do all the Actions, because next week you will be claiming your dream!

Part Two

Living in your Goal

You’ve worked on your Goal, now it’s time to live in your Goal. If your Goal is to be fit and healthy, start living as though you are fit and healthy. Think the way a healthy person thinks when they shop for food. Exercise regularly, the way a fit person does, or simply get off the bus a stop earlier and walk. If your Goal is to get a new job, imagine that you have a new job, make slight changes in your journey to work, start doing things differently.

Even though you are looking to the future, remember you live in the real world. So if, say, you want a promotion, first make sure you are worthy of it! Then start dressing for the part, think about how you would behave in your new, more senior role, and use more initiative to show others you’ve got what it takes.

Using appropriate affirmations can be a powerful tool to help you on your way forward. Choose ones which honour you, such as, ‘I am very good at my job’ or ‘I am worthy of a promotion’.

But remember, no amount of affirmations will help if your skills and abilities aren’t up to scratch!

Part Three

Act the part

It’s time to eliminate the ‘I want’ words when you are talking about your Goal. If you are still saying, ‘I want a promotion’, ‘I want to look attractive’, then you are really just claiming that you want them. There’s no time limit on ‘wanting’ things. The limit comes from defining when you want them.

If you want them now, act as though you have them.

A client of mine had a goal to move house. She thought it was a bit crazy to act as if she already had a new house , but what you are doing is seeing if your life has the time and resources to have your Goal. If you moved, what would you be doing differently now? Would you have more space, would you clear up some of the junk you’ve accumulated over the years?

You can start to claim your dream by making way to receive it.

Clear up some of the clutter, donate it to charity or sell it at a car boot sale. This works if you are looking to reinvent your image or start a new relationship too, because if you throw out what is taking up space without giving you benefits, you’ll be making space to fill with the things you truly want in life.

Part Four

Silence can be golden

When you are at the stage of claiming your dream, you are ready to accept your dream. In doing so you must still be aware of the language you use. Remember that words have creative energy. Don’t waste that energy talking about how much you want it, as this won’t maintain the momentum, but destroy it.

Stay silently committed.

Think of Nelson Mandela. His response to the indignities of prison life was to deny being a victim. He studied and learnt and kept alive his ultimate Goal, which was to have a democratic free society with racial harmony. Mandela spent over two decades in prison and during that time he got ready to claim his dream. You have the good fortune to able to claim your dream much sooner. Go for it!

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Write down your Goal and why you are ready to claim it

Then on a separate sheet write about your Goal as though you have claimed it, write in the present tense. Put this it in an envelope, write a date on the front, a month from today, and put it away in a safe place. Write the date in your diary and surprise yourself by seeing how much you have claimed of your dream in that time!

2. Visualise claiming your Goal

Make the vision vibrant, colourful, and moving – like an image on a cinema screen. See yourself in your vision; notice the sounds, the smells, and the temperature. Notice all the things that would show you were actually physically experiencing your Goal. Do this every morning.

3. Remind yourself of all the preparation you’ve done

What did you make happen that proved that you were working on your Goal? Make a list of the things you’ve done.

4. Use affirmations

Create three ‘I am..’ affirmations which represent you having your Goal, and write them out every morning

5. Celebrate your committment

Take yourself out on goal claiming date. Dress up, take a trip, buy some gorgeous flowers, book in for a massage. Do something to thank yourself for being your No. 1 supporter.

Well done ! You’ve come a long way. Six weeks ago you didn’t know where to begin with goal setting, and now you are a different person!

From now on you’ll be seen as one of the lucky people, but you know better, you know that everyone can create their own luck and opportunities. Everything you’ve learned from the Ultimate Goal setting guide will ensure that you always succeed.

Keep setting goals and making it happen for you, because you know that you deserve to live your dreams.