Part Two

Why your appearance matters

The level of self care we exercise directly reflects how we value ourselves as human beings. You are here to fulfil your potential, body mind and soul. This is a vital piece of the jigsaw. By embarking on this journey of transformation, you will be changing your looks, but also changing every area of your life. NOW is the perfect time to start.

Have you seen Esther Ranzen lately? Just how gorgeous has she become, even as she has gotten older?

When she was widowed, Esther realised the time was finally right to move on. The BBC date coaching show “Would like to meet” acted as a catalyst. Esther made phenomenal changes, and many centred on her looks. She loosened up, started to have fun again. She looks softer, warmer, more sexy.

She’s enjoying her body for the first time in years. Asked why she decided to embark on the journey, she replied:

“I had absolutely nothing to lose. I have everything to gain.”
Esther Ranzen

Make this your mindset, too. Commit NOW to giving this course the time, thought and effort it deserves. Then get ready for the compliments to roll in.

Before we get going, I want you to go and find yourself a journal –A4 size is good. Take some time and choose this with care: a colour you love, a texture that pleases you.

This journal will be your constant companion throughout the course. Use it to record all your thoughts, and also as a scrapbook to keep together your clippings and inspirations.

Part Three

What is Gorgeous?

So what is so special about being gorgeous? Isn’t it all a bit shallow? Surely only the beautiful people deserve this title?

Not at all. Gorgeous isn’t just about looks. It’s a state of mind. It’s how we feel, communicate and behave. A way of life, really.

Task: In your journal, write down your own definition of gorgeous. Think back on your reasons for joining this course. How does it feel to you?

Got your definition? How does yours compare to these below, from clients on a recent workshop?

• “It’s that extra sparkle you get from knowing you are on top form.”
• “How I felt after giving birth to my daughter”
• “Knowing I could still get a date if I wanted to”

Everyone has their own personal gorgeous. Let’s spend a little more time exploring yours now.

Task: For this exercise, I want you to I want you to close your eyes, and focus on your senses. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What colour is your gorgeous?
• How does it smell?
• What does it feel like to touch?
• How does it taste?
• Is there a sound you associate?

Note your conclusions in your journal.

For your information, mine is a raspberry coloured, patchouli scented furry, mango flavoured Nina Simone song – each to his own!

Start making a conscious effort to include a little of your gorgeous into your everyday life. Not only will this help you to become a more beautiful person, but in so doing, you will be enhancing the lives of those around you. Spread a little gorgeousness, why don’t you? More on this later…

Incidentally, I’d love to hear your definitions. Please feel free to email me.

Part Four

It’s all about you

It’s high time we focused on you. I want you to take a good look at yourself, physically and metaphorically.

Task: You will need a mirror for this. Full length if possible.

Ask yourself, in what ways are you already gorgeous, just as you are?

Look in the mirror and write down at least 5 things you like about your appearance. I want you to keep going until you have 5. Lots of people find this hard, but please bear with me and work through this.

Now move away from the mirror and write down 5 things about your personality which are already gorgeous. Here are a few examples to get you on the right track:

• “I am a really good cook….that’s gorgeous to me!”
• “I know people love my sense of humour.”
• “My kids love to come and snuggle up with me. They say I’m lovely and soft to touch.”

When clients come for an image consultation, I am always struck by the number of physical faults they point out to me. Very rarely does anybody freely admit they have a feature they actually like!

People of all shapes, sizes and walks of life seem stuck in a negative body image, which is holding them back from achieving their ideal life.

By doing this exercise, and others like it, you will be making a positive shift in the way you see your body. Being gorgeous is about looking in the mirror and accepting and approving of what you see. Sure, there are many physical changes we can make, but here, the journey starts from within.

That’s why I’ve asked you to think about your personality, too. Very rarely do we assess real people’s attractiveness merely on their looks. Their charm, warmth, their X factor plays a huge part. You have all this within you.

Make this exercise for your eyes only. Tell the truth.

Congratulations. We are well on our way.

Task: The next step is to identify in what ways you would like to become more gorgeous.

Again, some points should be physical, others more general. I guarantee you will find this easier than the last exercise. Let’s have another 10 points, please.

Your findings here will form the basis of your Image Action Plan. Present them attractively on the inner cover of your journal. Refer to them regularly

Part Five

Finding your style

“Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world”
Bette Midler

Now we need to do some work on the clothes you wear. Through our appearance, we are sending the world a potent message of how we view ourselves, and how we expect to be treated. So it’s vital to spend some time developing a style you are truly comfortable with. Think of the added confidence you will gain.

Let me just explode a myth here: Style is not something you are born with. It is not solely available to the rich, young and beautiful. Like any other skill, style can be developed and improved. All it takes is thought, practise, and a dedicated coach.

Luckily, you have all three.

Style in the City

A modern embodiment of style is Sarah Jessica Parker. Her quirky, effortless brand of chic has been an inspiration to women the world over.

But take a closer look at this gorgeous being. With her long face and prominent nose, SJP is the first to admit she is not classically beautiful. What people find so attractive is her exuberance and individuality. She enjoys her looks, and radiates charm and vitality. But look at photos of SJP pre Sex and the City, and it becomes apparent that her current style is something she has worked hard to develop.

She has blossomed, like one of her trademark corsages.

What I’m saying is this: We all have a unique, personal style. Over the next 6 weeks, we will identify and cultivate yours. Like a butterfly, cocooned for too long in layers of practicality, convenience and making-do, the authentic, gorgeous you is waiting to emerge. In many ways, you have the edge over the butterfly: you get to CHOOSE, and CHANGE, your own individual markings.

Task: In your journal, answer the question:
How would you choose to dress if you had no limitations?

Instead of putting up with a look that is less than you deserve, be creative and start finding ways to achieve that look NOW.

Let’s get one thing straight here: I’m not talking about logos and designer gear. Style has nothing to do with money. I don’t care whether the outfit’s from Dior or Dr Barnardo’s. If it looks good and feels right, that’s what matters. Neither do I suggest you follow fashion:

“Fashion fades, only style remains the same.”
Coco Chanel

You are an informed, sophisticated individual. That’s why you are here. Slavish following of unflattering fashion fads is not for you. Who wants to look like every other High Street clone? You have something much more special. We’re talking pure, one of a kind style, and clothes that accentuate your positives.

Part Six

Developing your unique style: Week one

“I am what I am. I am my own special creation.”
Jerry Herman (from the musical La Cage aux Folles)

Task: Set aside a section in your journal to collect your thoughts on your personal style, call this section “Developing My Style“.

We will be working on this throughout the six weeks. Today is just the beginning of your style journey. Spend some time considering the following questions:

• Who is your style icon? Who embodies your definition of gorgeousness, and why?
  Spend some time on this. For years, I thought Audrey Hepburn was the epitome of style and grace. Her style is, however, very unlike the real me. I have recently unleashed my hidden Marilyn Monroe, and I’m much happier!
• Is there an historical period whose fashions inspire you? Say some more.
• What’s your favourite film?
• Think of three words to describe how you would like to be perceived

Spend a while considering your responses here. What do they say about your style? Are you dressing to reflect the real, best you? If not, start today. Just wearing a fabulous accessory, or a colour you love, could make all the difference.

Play dress-up and start having some fun. There is no right or wrong.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Develop a personal ritual to get you into your gorgeous state

Think back to your definitions of gorgeous. Find a candle in your given scent, surround yourself with your sound. Find a symbolic picture or photo, and display it prominently. Write your thoughts in your journal. Start living a little more gorgeously every day.

2. Undertake at least one self-care exercise this week

Assess what is most needed straight away, and act this week. It’s amazing the difference one little step can make. For example, shaping your eyebrows can widen your eyes, and give your face a sleeker, more groomed look. Maybe you need to get some skincare advice, or start some gentle exercise. You’re looking more gorgeous already.

3. Get into the habit of looking at yourself in the mirror

Not a quick glance to check your nasal hair, but a good 5 minute gaze, to help you get in touch with how you feel about your looks. Repeat the thought of the week whilst doing this, either aloud or in your head. Do this as often as possible. It will get easier, and the results are amazing.

4. Be inspired by beauty around you

Get out the glue and scissors and collect your findings in your scrapbook. Pictures, fabrics, quotes, colours, you name it.

The butterfly is emerging!

Well done. You’ve made a great start.

Part Two

Wardrobe Weeding

This task is about so much more than binning a few moth eaten sweaters. A careful reassessment of what you wear is a truly transforming experience. Follow my guidelines, and you will change your life.

Yes, really.

This works on many levels. Clearing out the “ungorgeous” will free you to:

• Take stock of your life
• Feel more in control
• Cast out emotional demons
• Develop your new, healthy Self Image
• Move on

By ridding yourself of the dross, paradoxically you will find you have MORE of everything.

• More wearable, worthy clothes
• More time
• More money – no more impulse buys
• More confidence
• More gorgeousness

“Freedom lies in being bold.”
Robert Frost, poet

So come on, what’s really to lose?

Let’s get started. Either start this task NOW, or get your diary, and set aside the time this week.

It’s time to take action.

Part Three

Preparation is VITAL

To totally revamp (with the emphasis firmly on VAMP!) your wardrobe, you will need:

• Best part of a day, uninterrupted
• Bin bags, boxes
• Plastic or wooden coat hangers
• Seriously good, uplifting music
• Plenty of water and yummy treats
• A friend or coach at the end of the telephone line to cheer you on
• Supreme energy and Positive Mental Attitude

Have your journal at the ready, and read through your definition of gorgeous.

Now, turn to the Developing My Style Section, and review your observations here.

What did you choose as the 3 words to describe how you would like to be perceived?

Write each word, large and bold, on a sheet of A4. Display these at eye level, near your wardrobe. We will be using these as the criteria to assess your clothes.

Ok, so put on the music, and roll up your sleeves!

First of all, take every single thing out of the wardrobe.

Place on the floor or bed. Right now, remove any non-seasonal items. Box these up and allocate a storage space for them. We need to clear the decks.

Next, create a reject pile and cast aside ANYTHING that is:

• Broken
• Stained
• Doesn’t fit and never will. Stop beating yourself up and enjoy your body NOW.
• Old and tatty
• Dated
• Baggy and shapeless
• Totally un-you. Keep looking at your 3 words.

Take a step back and have a good look at what’s left.

• Is there a predominance of a certain colour? Is it a shade you actually like?
• Are you a serial purchaser? I recently helped a client kick a serious beige trouser habit. She owned over 20 pairs! Now she has 3 fabulously flattering ones, and she looks great.
• What are your clothes REALLY saying about you? Do you like what you hear? Anything not reflecting your true personality can GO, with your love and blessing.

You are bound to be left with a number of garments you still have doubts about. Try these on, and take a long look in the mirror.

• Does it still fit?
• Is it flattering?
• When did you last wear it? (Honestly)
• If you saw someone else wearing it, would you compliment him or her?

Ask yourself, is the garment worthy of being worn by the new, gorgeous you? If it doesn’t exude your 3 gorgeous words, ditch it.

From now on, only choose to wear clothes that reflect your increasing gorgeousness.

“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone”
Coco Chanel

Part Four

Saying Goodbye

Let’s just pause here and assess your cast off pile.

How does it feel to be finally getting rid of this stuff? Make this an opportunity to take stock of your appearance, your self-image, and your life.

So why do we choose to hold on to old clothes we no longer have use for?

They remind us of “The Good Old Days”

Youth, a lost relationship, a life before kids, slimmer times. The truth is, these clothes are probably shabby and dated. They are taking up precious space you could be using to expand into your new beautiful self. If you need to keep a memory, find another symbol: a photo, piece of jewellery, a letter. Resolve to live in the present.

Choose to feel gorgeous NOW. Let go of these clothes and make room for your new life.

Maybe you have items you bought but never wear, and feel guilty about.

Hanging on to these shopping mistakes won’t change that situation, but perpetuate it. Stop beating yourself up by with the constant reminder every time you open the wardrobe.

Why not take them to a Dress Agency, and earn some money back? Or to the Charity Shop? Feel good about helping others. From now on, shopping mistakes are a thing of the past. You now have the knowledge, self-belief and confidence to choose wisely every time.

You MIGHT need them again

Jenny is a client of mine who, over the past 12 months, has lost over 2 stone. She looks – and feels – fabulous. She came to see me to help her sort out her wardrobe.

I discovered Jenny was hanging on to a full set of “fat clothes” – Jenny’s words, not mine. She saw these as a safety blanket, should she start to gain the weight back.

Two months in to our coaching relationship, Jenny’s mindset has changed completely. Gone are the clothes 3 sizes too big. Jenny no longer needs the “safety”, or easy temptation, of a wardrobe of clothes from her old life. She is now the size she feels she was born to be, and enjoys the vitality and confidence a healthy body brings.

On the other hand, you may feel too “fat” and “frumpy” for all this gorgeous malarkey. The way I see it, either accept your body for its curvy voluptuousness, or take steps NOW to change it. But remember, gorgeousness is a state of mind, not a dress size.

Bag up your rejects straight away and take them to your favourite charity shop.

No regrets.

Part Five

Work That Wardrobe

So now you are left with an array of gorgeous garments. Let’s get them organised, so your wardrobe is really working for you.

• Hang like with like: shirts with shirts, jackets with jackets etc. This makes it quicker and easier to assemble great outfits
• Hang rather than fold, wherever possible. If a garment’s folded away in a drawer, you’ll tend not to wear it. Remember, ALL your clothes are now gorgeous, so get good wear from all of them.
• Display scarves and accessories. If you can see them, you’ll be inspired to wear them. Corkboards are great to display necklaces. I pin all my brooches and corsages to my bedroom curtains. What a glamorous start to the day.
• Step back and assess your wardrobe.
  • Are there any “holes”?
  • Are you making good use of your casual clothes, but rarely wearing your dressier numbers? Scrap the “I’ll save that for best” idea. You deserve to look good every day of your life. Get wearing those glad rags NOW.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well done. You will now benefit from the instant, and lasting effects of an organised wardrobe. All the hard work has paid off.

Part Six

Sticks and stones

Now we are going to look within, and clear away the dead, useless thought patterns cluttering up your Heart and Mind.

I’m talking about the negative messages we harbour.

Today, let’s focus on the messages we receive and hang on to about our appearance. I’m sure I don’t need to lecture you on the tremendous power of thought. Our brains are like sponges, soaking up and retaining every little thought and throwaway comment. We internalise these ideas, and replay them on a regular basis.

These can be messages we give ourselves, or messages from others. They can be recent, or from our childhood. Makes no difference. The thought is there, playing and replaying like a cassette loop in our brain.

Until, that is, we break the cycle.

Task: What I want you to do now is find a quiet space where you can be alone for about 30 minutes. Choose some soothing music. Sit quietly and think back on the limiting messages from your life.

Hear the words in your head. Write them down, one by one, leaving plenty of space between each one. Write them in quote marks, or speech bubbles, and in the here and now. Some messages will come quickly. Others may take some time.

Here are two of my past messages:

My school Nickname

My view post-pregnancy

Keep going with this until there are no more messages left.

Just take a moment to get in touch with how you feel. Angry? Sad? Ready to let go?

That’s Good.

“I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. So don’t you bring me down today”
Christina Aguleira

Remember, the mind is a powerful tool.

The good news is we can harness that power, and get it working in your favour. Your self-image to date has been the culmination of all your past messages, good and bad. Your future self-image will be shaped by the messages you choose to accept about yourself from this day forward.

First of all, let’s diminish the power of those unhelpful, negative messages about the way you look.

Look back on your observations.

Task: Now take a pen and a clean sheet of paper. Answer every one of the negative messages with a positive affirmation. It’s your chance to have your say. To stand up to the bully, to let it be known how you really feel.

Bat the crap back and then we can clear out and move on.

Remember my messages? Here’s how I answered them, once and for all:

Cod Eyes: “My eyes are large and beautiful. They are my best feature.”
You’re too fat to be sexy: “I enjoy being voluptuous and womanly.”

Feels good, doesn’t it?

Display your affirmations on the inner door of your wardrobe. As for the old messages? Throw them away….better still, burn them. Commit to positive self-talk, from this moment on.

Remember, you can do this exercise as often as needed.

NB: Maybe there is some truth in one of your negatives. Transform this thought into a positive goal. Write out an Action Plan, with a deadline. Take steps today towards making this happen.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Develop Your Style

Go window-shopping, but don’t take your purse! Is there a particular store that reflects your sense of style? Record your observations in the style section of your journal. Use catalogues and magazine cut outs, too.

2. Cultivate a Gorgeous Zone in Your Home

Perhaps it’s a whole room, maybe just a corner with a sumptuous chair and inspirational pictures. Bring in all the senses here. Just sit and exude gorgeousness.

3. How’s the Self-Care Going?

Schedule in some me-time, and beautify. Ask a beauty therapist to list her treatments for you in order of priority. Act on this objective advice.

4. Notice any Negative, Limiting Messages that Creep in

Politely challenge any unhelpful comments, then forgive, and forget them.

5. You’re doing so well, you need to celebrate!

Put on your most gorgeous outfit and enjoy being the real you! Do what makes you happy.

Part Two

Getting Gorgeous

I’ll be honest here. There will be days when you feel less than gorgeous. Moments when your nerves threaten to get the better of you, and lead you down the ugly path. What to do in these situations?

Draw on your inner resources, and create your own gorgeous state.

“Gorgeous is a state of mind.”
Emma Ford

Here’s how you get into that state

Curvy Kate

“I feel my responsibility is to say to young women who are in turmoil about their weight: Life is short, and it’s here to be lived.”
Kate Winslet

Thank God for Kate Winslet. Famous for standing up to the demands of Hollywood and refusing to become waif-thin, Kate is very serious about her responsibility as a role model to young women.

In the past, Kate struggled with her own size. Weighing over 180lb as a teenager, Kate was nicknamed “Blubber” by her classmates. The damage to her self-esteem led to depression and eating disorders. A phenomenal actress, success came at a price for Kate.

Obliged to lose 15lb for her role as Rose in Titanic, she was later slated by the press for regaining the weight once the movie was over. The pressure was back on to shed the pounds, but Kate hit back with characteristic style and intelligence:

“This is me, like it or lump it. I had to starve myself for Titanic and it just wasn’t me. I’m not a twig and I refuse to be one.”
Kate Winslet

Now, happily married and massively successful, she radiates a vital, natural beauty. Still curvy, but with her weight under control, Kate dresses to maximise her assets, and looks a million dollars.

Pure class.

Part Three

Work With Your Body

After all, it’s the only one you’ve got!

Dressing to suit your body shape and flatter your proportions is the key to looking and feeling fabulous. I should know. Here’s how I completely changed my Body Image.

In my early twenties, I was a petite, slim size 8 – 10. Working as an actress, I was constantly on the go. To save money, I cycled everywhere. Although my body was far from “perfect”, I was supremely happy with the way I looked.

Things changed once I became a mum. My precious first daughter was delivered by emergency caesarean section, and what with the demands of breastfeeding and the process of recovering from major surgery, my body shape changed dramatically. My daughter became the centre of my universe, and self-care was no longer on my list of priorities.

I gave up, and began shrouding myself in baggy tops and jeans, in an attempt to hide. I knew deep down this wasn’t me, but my life and my heart were so full, I felt there was no room to focus on my own needs. Then along came beautiful daughter number two and the situation was compounded.

I was turning into someone I didn’t know.

One day, I caught sight of myself in a shop window. I hardly recognised the tired and dowdy woman I had become. I knew then I needed to take action. I went straight home and threw away an array of unflattering clothes, and vowed never to let them return.

Then, I took a long, loving look at myself, and identified my assets. I set about dressing to suit my personality and flatter my body. Sure, I made mistakes along the way (many of them involving tight black leather!) but I was expressing myself, being creative. The real me was re-emerging!

I’m now a curvy size 12-14. I am not prepared to starve myself back to my size 8 days. My life has changed in so many ways, and frankly, I’d look ridiculous. Instead, I make the most of my assets, and use optical illusions to hide my many flaws.

I’m really comfortable with the way I look. And you can be, too.

My journey made me realise there were thousands of women just like me, who for what ever reason, had lost their sense of self. I was amazed at how easy it was for me to take control and get my groove back. So powerful was my transformation that I wanted to help others experience this amazing metamorphosis.

That’s why I trained to be an Image Coach. It’s a real pleasure to be able to pass on to you the vital tricks of my trade.

Part Four

Find your body shape

For this exercise, you will need a full-length mirror. It’s important for you to be able to assess your body as a whole. If you don’t have one, please borrow one.

It’s also a good idea to do this in a swimsuit or your underwear. Be brave. The results of learning how to dress will last a lifetime.

To dress our best, we need to establish:

• Body shape: Are you angular or curvy? How can we accentuate?
• Proportions: How balanced is your body? How can we enhance it?
• Your best bits: What do you LOVE about your body? How can we maximise this?

Once we have identified your personal profile, we can set about dressing to improve your assets.

Your Body shape

Take a good look in the mirror.

Is the overall impact of your body:

• Angular and straight
• Rounded and curvy

Pay particular attention to your:

• shoulder line (straight or sloping?)
• waist (is there a definite curve inwards?)
• hips (slide your hand over your hips- do they go straight down, or curve outwards?)
• Now turn to the side – curves or flatness here?

The good news is, weight is not a major issue here. Sarah Ferguson has a curvy hourglass shape, whether she is s size 6 or a 16. When she dresses to enhance her curves – her wedding day being a fabulous example – she looks wonderful.

Decided if you’re straight or curvy? Here’s the secret of how to dress to flatter your shape..,

Part Five

Dress to Flatter a Curvy Shape

e.g. Marilyn Monroe, Beyonce Knowles

• Fabrics: Soft, fluid, drapey eg jersey, silk, suede
• Cuts: Generously fitted styles cut to skim your curves
• Accessories/details: Rounded, draped
• Sleeves: Soft raglan, drop shoulder, fluted
• Neckline: scoop, draped, wrap over

The key words here are softness and generosity of cut. Don’t truss up your curves in stiff fabric and high collars, or shroud them in shapeless t-shirts and leggings. Celebrate your voluptuousness with deeper necklines and wrap over styles. Wear camisoles if you don’t want to expose your gorgeous cleavage.

Dress to Flatter an Angular Shape

e.g. Princess Diana, Audrey Hepburn

• Fabrics: Structured, crisp e.g. denim, pique, taffeta
• Cuts: Angular, boxy, tailored
• Accessories/details: Sharp geometric lines
• Sleeves: Set in shoulders, stiffer cuffs, straight sleeves
• Necklines: Square, v-neck, pointed collars

Make the most of your angular lines by dressing sharp and snappy. Ditch the flounces, frills and clinched waists in favour of a crisper, more tailored style. You look fabulous in jeans and straighter skirts. Go for it.

Dress to suit your Proportions

Dressing to suit your proportions is all about using your clothes to create optical illusions. It’s easy!

My legs are proportionately very short. I use my clothes to play tricks, and add inches to my pins.

Here’s how it works:

Get longer legs

• Shorten your skirts: around the knee (just above or below) is most flattering
• Wear the same colour from waist to toe (e.g. same colour trousers and footwear)
• Opt for long length trousers, which partially cover your heel
• Knee length boots are sexy and flattering
• Medium to high heels are gorgeous. Try wedges. You won’t topple.
• Vertical lines on your bottom half lengthen and slim

Get more space at the waist

• Get your bra professionally fitted
• Choose low cut necklines and low buttoning jackets
• Side fastening waistbands create smooth lines
• Tunic style tops look divine
• Vertical lines on the top half lengthen and slim
• Low slung belts create curves and lengthen the waist

Balance your hips

• Open necklines and wide lapels
• Slash, boat and square necks add width at the shoulder
• Get a gorgeous pashmina to drape over your shoulders
• Make a point of wearing a beautiful necklace
• Show off in an off the shoulder top
• Choose jackets which gently skim over the hips

Part Six

Your Best Bits

Get back in front of that mirror, and identify your 3 best features. Write them down before self-doubt creeps in!

Identify which of your current clothes are making the most of these assets. Here’s how the process worked for Sarah, a recent client.

Sarah identified her assets as:

1. Long shapely legs (A total revelation to Sarah, but true nevertheless)
2. Toned arms
3. Pert bottom

So, for Sarah, the key was finding styles that showed off her legs without looking trashy.

Knee length and asymmetric hemmed skirts did the trick here. Summer is great for Sarah as she can make the most of her toned arms, wearing strappy and sleeveless tops which most women her age would rightly run a mile from.

Sarah’s long legs and pert bum mean she can effectively wear jeans. She also keeps her tops and jackets at hipbone length or above, to show off her shapely derriere.

Lucky Sarah, I hear you say. You too have such assets. Look with love and find them.

Then set about enjoying them.

Face Value

Now let’s focus on your face. Spend a good 5 minutes just observing your features in the mirror. For the moment, I want you to concentrate on your 2 best features. Maybe you have beautiful eyes, or smooth skin, or high cheekbones.

Write your 2 best features in your journal.

What steps will you take to accentuate these? Do you wear make up on a regular basis?

Research shows that women wearing make up have the edge over their fresh-faced colleagues. Robert Half’s study reveals that women wearing cosmetics are likely to be paid 20% more than those who don’t. I’m not urging you to go out in full war paint every morning, but a slick of neutral lipstick and mascara will give you a groomed, defined look. Like a picture which has been coloured in.

Don’t you owe it to yourself to amplify your assets?

The next step

Well done.

It takes guts and honesty to face yourself semi naked in front of a mirror. The insight you have gained will enable you to dress your best for the rest of your life. Full stop.

Now the fun starts. We are really close to the shopping stage! Armed with your new self knowledge, review your wardrobe.

What are you screaming out for?

Perhaps you want to show off a pair of gorgeous breasts. If you have them, you are almost duty bound to do so, in my opinion. What style top would accentuate your positives here?

Or maybe you love your shoulders. A halter-top or ballerina neckline would be great for you.

Right now, make a list of your top 5 garments, and go find them. Don’t deviate from your plan. You know now what enhances your gorgeousness. Don’t settle for anything less. Have a huge trying on session, but still hold back from buying anything. Make notes in the style section of your journal.

Next week, let the shopping begin. Get saving!

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. In your journal, make a note of any negative thoughts you may have this week about your appearance.

Answer them with a positive affirmation.

2. Turn to your style section, and answer these questions:

• Do you prefer smart or casual dressing?
• If you could choose to be an animal, what would it be?
• What’s your dream holiday destination?

What do your responses say about your sense of style?

3. This Week’s Self-Care Task

Indulge in a manicure, pedicure or facial. If cost is an issue, contact your local college, who may well offer training sessions at discount rates.

4. Choose to be Gorgeous Each Day

Start each morning affirming your gorgeousness. Spend an hour exuding gorgeous thoughts. You’ll be surprised how many people will pick up on your vibrations. More on this later in the course.

5. Celebrate!

Put on your most flattering outfit, choose your most sexy, uplifting music, and dance yourself silly!

Enjoy!

Part Two

Have a Vision

“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and your reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.”
Bette Davis

It makes me sad that the term “Daydreamer” is often used as a form of criticism.

It seems to me that those of us who have the power to dream, to see our vision, have the edge on less liberated beings in so many ways. Through the ages, the most brilliant and original minds have been those of people with strong, clear vision, who saw in great detail what they needed to achieve before they achieved it.

Einstein, for example had a special thinking chair. A place where he went to visualise and let his imagination run wild.

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein

Top class sportspeople such as Steve Redgrave and David Beckham use visualisation techniques as part of their regular training programme. These are people totally committed to living their dream. Quite literally.

So how does it actually work?

Simple, really. From the moment you picture something, your brain subconsciously begins to carry out actions to achieve it. The clearer the picture you create, and the more often you enjoy creating it, the greater the chances of the vision becoming reality.

For now, we will be working on a vision of the truly gorgeous you. Still you, but at your most attractive and charismatic.

When working with clients, I usually need to reassure them that engaging in this kind of vision is a worthwhile act. Remember, it’s not selfish, shallow or neurotic to want to look and feel your best. It’s an indication of high quality self-worth. You want to be thought of as someone who knows their good worth, don’t you? By taking care of our appearance and projecting a positive image, we are also sending vital messages to those around us of how we want to be treated. Ultimately, ladies, we are also giving a clear message of how we expect womankind as a whole to be treated.

Let’s make sure we are effectively communicating our worth.

So many of us are ruled by “if- onlys”.

“I would get that fella if only I was a stone lighter.”
“I would get that promotion if only I knew how to look the part.”

These feelings of longing and self-doubt are often tangled up in our notions of the way we look.

I spent best part of a decade moving from fad diet to diet, only to give up after a few weeks, because I had no clear game plan in mind. Not any longer. Now, I visualise my goals, I lay out my strategy, and I keep renewing my purpose. I start with the end in mind. This frees me up to channel all my energy into making my vision happen.

Part Three

Now it’s your turn.

Read through the next exercise a few times. Get familiar with what you need to do, then find somewhere peaceful, perhaps your Gorgeous Zone. Take the phone off the hook and relax. It’s important to get into a calm state first. The more relaxed we become, the deeper the levels of consciousness we are able to access. The deeper the consciousness, the clearer and truer your gorgeous vision.

I want you to close your eyes, and look into the future.

Create a picture of you at your full gorgeous potential. As attractive as you can possibly be.

What’s different about you? Your skin, hair, clothes, body? Is your posture different?

Now place yourself somewhere. I see myself in a grand art deco setting. Fill in all the details. Remember, if you can link in sounds, smells, textures here, your visualisation will be so much more powerful.

Make sure you can spend as long as you like enjoying this fabulous creation.

I urge you not to read on at this point, but to do the visualisation NOW. If not now, when? If you cannot do it now, make space in your diary, and stick to it. Do not continue with this module until you have.

This is vital.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin now.”
Goethe

By the time you read this, I’m expecting you to have created your vision. If you haven’t, please go back and do it NOW.

Feels good, doesn’t it? Let’s start making it real.

Part Four

Your Game Plan

Take a piece of paper, the bigger the better. Divide it into 4 equal sections. Head these up:

• Body
• Face/hair
• Style
• Senses

Put on some motivational music, spread out and write your dreams.

Commit to paper all the ways in which the “future you” has changed. If your ideal is to fit into size 12 jeans, for example, write, “I am wearing size 12 jeans” in your body section.

Keep on going until you have your entire dream on paper. Ideally, you will have at least 3 points in each section. In some, you will probably have a lot more. Remember, NOW is the perfect time to realise your goals; to become on the outside, the gorgeous person you are already within. Commit NOW, and your dreams will be only steps away.

Ok, now we need to do a little pruning.

Take another look at your dream, section by section.

I want you to focus on your top 3 goals for each area. Take your journal, and write your revised plan on a fresh page. Got that? Feels good to be taking control, doesn’t it?

Have you noticed that a surprising number of your goals seem relatively easy to achieve? Half the battle is already won: you have identified a need, and committed to answering it.

To simplify things, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Review all your goals, and make a list of your top three – the ones you feel really fired up to achieve right now. These are the ones we will work on first.

Part Five

Go-ahead Goals

Now is the time to write out your top three goals, and put your dream into action. Here’s how the process works:

• Write each goal in the present tense, and be positive.
  e.g. “I weigh 9 and a half stone” rather than “I will try not to be overweight”
• Be specific
  e.g. “I am wearing gorgeous clothes which flatter my body” rather than “I’ll try to look a bit more feminine”
• Give each goal a deadline
  Mark the date in your diary, and do your level best to stick to it!
• Put in place regular rewards
  A facial, a pair of earrings….night at the cinema. Your choice. Something gorgeous.
• Review your goals on a daily basis
  Print them out on a single sheet of paper. Make them as visually attractive as possible. Enjoy looking at them every morning, and before you go to bed.
• Keep visualising the truly gorgeous you.
• Enjoy the feeling of satisfaction as you tick off your goals. What’s next? Addictive, isn’t it?

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Find a picture or object which symbolises the new, improved you.

Keep this with you constantly. Clients have used postcards, scraps of fabric, shells, and beads. You name it. Be creative and choose what’s right for you. Think of this as your Talisman.

2. Spend some time recreating your vision of gorgeousness:

Visit the location of your dream, or something close to it. If your gorgeous visualisation was located in a swanky bar, arrange a trip to somewhere equally swish. I found a beautiful Art Deco hotel; got myself dressed up and lived my dream. The cost? A couple of gin and tonics. Get where you need to be, and soak up the atmosphere.

3. Go Shopping!

You’ve done extremely well, and come so far. Heaven knows you deserve a reward! My advice to you is to just buy one fabulous garment. Choose either:

• A beautiful jacket, which will instantly “glam up” any outfit, from jeans to little black dress. Think colour.
• A simple, classic dress. Wrapovers are eternally flattering; softly fitted shift dresses seem to suit everybody. Choose a neutral colour and accessorise to add drama. Sheer class.

4. Declutter Your Underwear Drawer

Only the gorgeous will do from now on. Bin anything greying, frayed, ill fitting or downright frumpy.

There’s no point looking sexy-gorgeous on the outer layer if your undies are telling a totally different story. Every woman deserves to wear lingerie that makes her feel sexy and desirable. Go buy some.

I’m not necessarily talking about fishnet stockings and suspenders here, although if that’s what makes you feel good, that’s fabulous. Choose something that works for you, as well as your partner. Think how luxurious the feel of silk is against your skin, or have fun experimenting with different colours and styles.

The only rule is, you must ADORE what you buy.

5. Action!

Get your diary, pick up the phone and put your plan into action. Make that hair appointment; book an image consultation, research dance classes in your area. Whatever it is you need to do to get started, do it NOW!

Part Two

Smell The Roses

It’s late spring as I write this, and roses are in full bloom. I’m sitting at my desk, enjoying some roses from my garden. They are purple coloured, and ever so slightly disreputable looking (I am no Charlie Dimmock). They look sensational, but for me their strongest impact is their beautiful, room-filling aroma. Just inhaling makes me smile. How gorgeous is that?

Let’s just pause a moment, and reflect on scent.

How sad that smell has become one of our least respected senses. In days gone by, scent had a most powerful and influential role. Walk into any traditional Catholic church, and experience the hypnotic effect of ceremonial incense. Think of Cleopatra concocting aromatic potions and scattering fragrant rose petals on her bedroom floor.

When was the last time you really appreciated your sense of smell?

I want you to pause here, and spend a while enjoying the scents around you. Stay at home and wander or go for a scent walk. Breathe deeply. Stop for coffee and savour every drop. Now go home, and start indulging your sense of smell.

Here are some suggestions to get you started with scent:

• Get those incense cones and scented candles out of the drawer
  Start using them every day, not just on special occasions. Develop a homecoming ritual. Change into comfortable clothes and light some candles. Enjoy the fragrance. It won’t cost much, and, anyway, you’re worth it.
• Make bath time more pleasurable by adding a few drops of essential oil to the water.
  Read up on aromatherapy, and choose something to suit your mood.
• No oils to hand?
  Take a square of material, or cut offs from a pair of tights, and make your own bath time bouquet garni. Gather petals or herbs from the garden; add orange or lemon peel – anything natural, which smells good. Make a pouch, tie with ribbon or string, and float this in your bath. Sounds like something my grandmother would have done. That’s no bad thing, mind you.
• Sprinkle lavender oil on your pillow for a soothing night’s sleep, and a gorgeous awakening.
• Set aside an hour to go fragrance shopping
  Choose a large store and spray away to your hearts content. Make sure you take a few breaks in the fresh air, or you’ll experience sensory overload. Which fragrance best encapsulates your personality? Are you soft, feminine and floral, like Chanel Cristalle, or Warm, sensuous and earthy, like Aromatics Elixir by Clinique?

  More importantly, what do you want to be? Choose a scent that reflects that quality, and start wearing it now. Notice how the scent gets you in the perfect state of mind.

• In your journal, make a note of your favourite scents
  These could be anything from freshly baked bread to bonfires. Bring home perfume samples from your shopping trip, and stick these onto the pages. Reserve a few, and use them to scent your car, wardrobe or stationary drawer.
• Never underestimate smell’s powers of attraction
  We assess a potential mate not only on their looks and conversation, but their unique scent profile. Bear this in mind, and make sure your scent is working for you, not against you. A high level of personal hygiene is a must, but don’t go overboard. Natural smells can be really sexy, too.

Part Three

Taste Buds

Taste is sexy; just think of the famous French Chef, Jean Cristophe Novelli. His passion for food is intoxicating. His French accent and suave Gallic looks help, too, I know, but there is something extremely seductive about being able to cook and eat well.

This week, I want you to really indulge your taste buds. Don’t rush out and buy caviar and fine wines, simple foods will do very nicely. Rather than eating just to satisfy your hunger or craving, I want you to savour every mouthful.

• Cook a new dish, and taste well to identify every ingredient.
• Take a trip to the green grocer, and sample some new fruits. Make a fruit salad with rose water and mint
• Go to a wine or exotic tea tasting
• Remember the film Nine and a half weeks, where Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger enjoyed a blindfold midnight feast? Play with your food. Taste test. Indulge.
• Have a picnic, whatever the weather
• Revisit a favourite childhood food. Feel the memories flood back
• Invite someone gorgeous round, and cook them a sensual meal
• Choose a new cuisine, one you’ve never tasted before. Book a table for one, and concentrate on the flavours.

Part Four

Sound Advice

Just stop what you’re doing, and listen.

What are the sounds around you?

For me, there’s the hum of the computer and the sound of waves lapping against pebbles. How often do we consciously take time to listen to what’s going on around us? How often do we actually bother to really, truly listen to other people?

Gorgeous people are great listeners. It’s time to get in tune, and develop your sound skills. Here’s how:

• For one day, commit to totally focused listening
  When in conversation, stop whatever you are doing. Turn off the TV, put down your book, and give 100% attention to what’s being said. I guarantee this will enhance your communication.
• Get into the habit of listening with all your senses
  Look at body language, tone of voice, gestures and touch. What’s really being said?
• Go for a walk – listen to every sound
  Keep your ears open to all possibilities.
• Listen to music every day
  Vary your play list, and choose music to suit your mood.
• Find a musical instrument, and enjoy exploring the sounds
  I recently took my daughters to an African drumming workshop. The physical pleasure we got from drumming, dancing, feeling the music’s vibrations was stunning.
• Record yourself talking and singing
  How does your voice sound? Do you like what you hear? If not, do something about it.
• Ask a trusted friend to describe your voice in 3 words
  Does the description fit with your true, best self? If not, consider changes. Visit a voice coach. Experiment at home. Sing. Loosen up. Set your voice free.
• Identify someone who has a really gorgeous voice
  Make it someone of the same sex. Find a recording of this person talking, and play this regularly. What are the qualities you find appealing? Pitch, tone, accent? Use this as you model.

Part Five

Getting in touch

I get very tetchy when people describe me as a “touchy feely” person. Makes me sound like some kind of pervert. Which I’m not, by the way. I do, however, revel in the sense of touch.

How gorgeous to run your fingers through a warm baby’s downy hair, or feel the cool of sand on bare feet on a deserted beach at midnight. Both sensual treats, both completely free of charge.

One comment I invariably receive from clients who have taken my sensual journey is that they spend less money as a result. They don’t have the same need to shop for extravagances. Shopping has become the major creative outlet for so many of us. Let this go, revel in the senses and release your creative side. So much more sexy than yet another pair of shoes. Go barefoot.

Some ideas for getting in touch

• Prepare a bath, lock the door and spend some time touching your skin
  Try an exfoliating scrub or use a body brush. Touch every part of your body. Come out of the bath, and dry yourself with your fluffiest towel. Sit quietly and apply body lotion or oil, then spend at least 10 minutes just relaxing
• Go outdoors and feel the sensation of heat or cold on your skin
• Try a pedicure or body massage
  
• Offer to massage a loved one
  Don’t forget children and the elderly love to be touched, too. Give something gorgeous back
• Make a point of wearing something textured every day
  Image Coaches often suggest that people wanting to appear more approachable, or those wanting to attract a partner, try wearing more tactile clothes. Try it.
• Find something that you love to touch, and keep it with you
  This could be a scrap of sumptuous fabric, a smooth pebble, a feather
• Be mindful to touch and hug more
  Check if people are ok with this by trying out a quick touch on the arm. You will soon gauge if this makes them feel uncomfortable.

Part Six

I can see clearly now…

Together, we’ve spent lots of time focusing on the visual. How we look. But what we haven’t explored is how we see.

To see something properly is to take proper notice, to observe. Take the time this week to pay attention to the sights around you. Look at your friends and loved ones with fresh eyes. Drink in every detail.

By focusing on the visual, you will elevate your entire life experience. Here are a few ways to do it:

• Start appreciating colour
  Look at the sky, and notice how many different shades you can see
• Take a long look at yourself in the mirror, and create a self-portrait
  If the idea of drawing terrifies you, think about collage or paint
• Visit an art gallery or exhibition
  Can’t find any? Borrow some large, glossy art books from the library. Spend some time identifying your favourite artists. You may well be surprised! Remember to include your findings in your scrapbook
• Transform your home into a haven of visual pleasure
  Cast your eye about your surroundings. What’s ugly and needs to go? Do you need more colour, softer lights, more pictures on the walls? It’s the little things that make all the difference
• Consider how you use your eyes to express yourself
  Eye contact is a highly potent signal of attraction. Do you flash a fleeting glance, or is a slow, steady gaze more your style? Ask a trusted friend to rate your eye contact. If you need to do more, get out there and practise. If you see someone you like, force yourself to make eye contact with them. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
• Start each day in a positive frame of mind
  Make the area you see when you first open your eyes as visually gorgeous as possible. Clear away any clutter, hang a motivational picture. Ropey furniture? Drape a beautiful scarf. Start as you mean to go on. This really does work.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Schedule some vital “Me Time”

Stay home. Light the candles, pour the wine. Spend an evening with your journal. Collect some glossy magazines, colour charts, postcards, catalogues….whatever. Get creative. Get in touch with the truly gorgeous you.

2. Sort Through Your Jewellry Box

Let go of anything which really isn’t gorgeous enough for the new you. Think of user-friendly ways to store your treasures. I use a corkboard to display my necklaces, mainly because I love looking at anything sparkly! Treat yourself to one fabulous piece of costume jewellery. You don’t need to spend a fortune, just go for something you love right now. We’re not talking about investing in an heirloom. Have some fun.

3. Take Time to Look at Your Goals

Are you on course? What do you need to do to get there? Remember to keep treating yourself. Not quite motivated enough? Perhaps you need to enlist the support of a friend. If this isn’t working for you, call in the experts.

4. Look Back on the Sensual Journey

Which of the senses proved most attractive to you? How can you factor more of this sense into your everyday life? Make notes in your journal.

5. Make Sure You are Keeping up with Your Visualisations

At least 3 times this week, I want you to create the vision of the most gorgeous you. If time is of the essence, you could try:

• Visualising as soon as you wake up. You could either do this whilst still in bed, or set the alarm for 15 minutes earlier and go to your gorgeous zone. Enjoy that special time before the rest of the house wakes up
• Closing your eyes and going inwards on a train journey
• Create your vision whilst in the bath!

Congratulations. You’ve just completed module five. Have yourself a ball this week, and try out some new pleasures.

Part Two

Bien Dans sa Peau

So, how do we go about harnessing this illusive sex appeal? The French have a saying: “etre bien dans sa peau”  Literally translated, to be good in one’s skin. To feel at home with your body.

Allow me to elaborate:

I was recently on holiday in Spain. My daughters were desperate to see flamenco dancing, so we found a restaurant advertising a show and took our seats. The lights dimmed, the music started, and a solitary figure took to the stage.

My heart sank when I saw that our sole performer for the evening was a small, slight sixty-year-old man. No women in pretty dresses, just an old age pensioner. How wrong I was. I have never seen a more skilful dancer in my life. Agile, passionate and proud, he epitomised the essence of Flamenco.

My daughters were absolutely entranced.

It just goes to show that true glamour has little to do with flounces and frills. This man’s magic came from within. When he danced, he felt the music, and expressed it’s essence through every pore of his body. So focused on his dancing, he took on an almost animal-like quality. Very very gorgeous, believe me.

Now, aesthetically speaking, the dancer was no oil painting. With leathery skin and a stringy body, he would not have turned many heads. But after the show, he had queues of women lining up to steal a dance. Why? He was good in his own skin. He had tremendous sex appeal.

“How does this help me, I can’t dance to save my life!” I hear you cry.

Perhaps it’s time to awaken the dancer within. Don’t worry; we’ll do it in the privacy of your own home.

Part Three

Dancing Queen

When was the last time you really danced? When you just let your body move freely and joyously to music, without embarrassment?

Take a moment to replay the event now. Perhaps you were at a club with a group of friends, or dancing barefoot in the moonlight. Maybe you need to dig deep and access your childhood memories.

I adore dancing, but I don’t do it nearly as often as I should. One of my favourite things to do is to turn the music up really loud and dance around the house with my daughters. I love to watch young children dance. Only the very young free themselves with such abandon to music.

As we grow up, we become conscious of our bodies, worried we are looking stupid; worried we just don’t have what it takes to dance. That we can’t do it properly. The good thing about dancing is that there IS no right or wrong. Anything goes. It’s a truly free form of expression, and a great way to get in touch with your body.

Dancing is gorgeous. It’s a fabulous tool of attraction, too. Go to any club, and watch the average-looking men who can dance as they pull all the attractive girls. It’s a wonderful way to get close to your partner, too. To create romance and intimacy in a long-term relationship.

But first, let’s concentrate on dancing just for you. Just for the joy of it.

Your dance

I suggest you do this next exercise one evening when the house is empty. Draw the curtains, light some candles, and pour a glass of your favourite tipple. Chardonnay or cherryade, whatever takes your fancy. Take some time having a good look through your CD collection.

You’re looking for 3 specific pieces of music:

• Something upbeat that makes you happy (Mine is James Brown “I feel good”)
• Something undeniably sexy (“Let’s get it on” by Marvin Gaye does it for me)
• Something slow, more tender. (I chose Sinead O’Connor “Nothing compares to you”)

Now I want you to play the first piece of music, the happy one.

Just move freely around the room. Loosen up and stretch your muscles. Focus your movement on your shoulders, hips, legs and arms in turn. You might want to sing along. Some people close their eyes and dance. Do whatever feels right and makes you happy. There’s nobody around to tell you you’re doing it wrong!

When the music has finished, sit quietly for a moment, and be aware of how you feel, both physically and emotionally. Are you out of breath? Do you feel energised, or just plain silly? Just like any skill, dancing takes practice. This is just the beginning.

It’s time to get sexy next. Put on the second piece of music.

I want you to imagine yourself as an animal. What would the truly gorgeous you be? A sensual cat, a proud horse, a graceful deer? It’s up to you. Play. Have fun. Move like your chosen animal. You don’t necessarily need to get down on all fours, just imagine that animal’s movement qualities, and use them in your own dancing. Just enjoy being free, feeling sexy in your own right.

Take a few moments to think how this felt. Next time you do this exercise, you won’t need to think about your animal. The connection will already have been made.

The next dance is all about using your body to express your emotions.

Perhaps you chose a piece of music that brought back memories. Get back in touch with this through your dancing. How does it feel to be moving more slowly? Is there more of a flow in your body? Are you expressing happiness or sadness? Does dancing in this way feel good, or are you feeling sceptical?

The more you do it, the easier dancing will become, and the more you’ll enjoy the experience.

Enjoy your dancing

• Affirm your new role as a great dancer.
  Write an affirmation such as “I am a fabulous dancer. I enjoy moving to music”, and display this on your bathroom mirror, the fridge, somewhere you will look on a regular basis. Get into the habit of thinking this way.
• Still not convinced of your dancing skills?
  Find a salsa class. Take a friend for moral support. Maybe you’d prefer to try something less intimidating, like line dancing. Let go of those inhibitions and pre-conceived ideas. Stop worrying about looking cool. Just dance, laugh, have fun.
• Dance wherever and whenever possible
  If there’s a song you like on the radio, dance. Whilst writing this instalment, I’ve made an effort to dance more. I’ve had more fun, I feel fitter, and my stress levels are lower.
• Remember, dancing is not all about technique
  At college, I shared a house with a group of girls from an internationally famous dance academy. Now, on stage, these girls were poetry in motion. Technical perfection. But put them in a social setting, where they were dancing just for fun, and their movements looked much more ordinary, sometimes even a little awkward, stilted and out of touch. It ain’t what you do; it’s the way that you do it.
• Would you like to go to a club, or dance at parties, but are worried in case your moves are out- dated?
  If so, invite a friend, get glammed up, and hit the town. Visit a fabulous club, and sit a little away from the dance floor. Spend some time observing how the good dancers move. Look for steps that will be easy to copy. Go home, and practice in front of your bedroom mirror. Keep doing this until you’ve got some foolproof moves that feel right for you.

Okay, so you’re on your way to becoming a fabulous dancer.

Part Four

Now, let’s explore everyday Body Language.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and doubted the sincerity of their words? Perhaps you have had past experiences that tell you that this person is not to be trusted. Or perhaps you were accessing their inner thoughts, by picking up on clues in their body language.

Many of us are totally unaware that our body language: how we sit, stand, walk, dance etc, is a strong indicator of how we are actually feeling. Imagine the advantage we have when we become aware of the power of these unconscious messages.

The mindful use of body language works in two ways.

• Firstly, we can train our bodies to give off the right signals for particular situations: assertive during a difficult meeting, sexy and interested when we want to get that hot date.
• Secondly, we can use this special insight we gain about those around us to enhance our communication.

Basically, we can use our bodies to help us get what we want.

Top 10 Body Language Tips

1. Entering a room
   Take a few moments to collect yourself. Do some deep breathing and shake out your shoulders. Make sure you are standing tall. Think gorgeous, and in you go.
2. Walk with purpose
   Quickly scan the room, and then focus on where you want to go. Walk at moderate speed, with your head held high.
3. Own your space
   Spend a few seconds establishing yourself in your space. Make sure you feel safe. Actors are trained to centre themselves, so that they can stand firm and feel grounded on stage. Use this technique. Connect with the floor by consciously feeling it beneath your feet.
4. Keep your body open
   If you want people to approach you, it’s important that you give out welcoming signals with your body. I’m not talking about come-hither looks, but about making sure we aren’t using our body as a barrier against human contact. Keep arms unfolded, don’t over cross your legs. Make sure that when you are in conversation, you keep your mouth visible. If you’re in the habit of covering it with your hand, take steps to break this.
5. Eye contact
   Make a quick assessment of how much eye contact a person is comfortable with. Get into their pattern of eye contact, and then try to engage them further.
6. Watch your posture
   If you want to look younger, slimmer, more intelligent, confident and in control, you need to have positive posture. Simple as that. Bad posture means slouching, round shoulders and sloppy limbs. Good posture is strong back, firm feet and straight but relaxed shoulders.
7. Take a good look in a full-length mirror
   Where is your posture selling you short? Iron out any creases. Get some professional help, if you need to. Try Alexander Technique, dancing and Pilates.
8. Accentuate the positive
   We all have a particularly gorgeous body part. Earlier on in the course, you identified yours. Think how you can walk/ stand/ sit to accentuate this. Perhaps you love your breasts. Check your posture, uncross your arms, and get ready for a lot of attention. Maybe your arms are your best part. Think how to best show them off.
9. Break bad habits
   Perhaps you’ve allowed your body language to slip into bad habits as a way to camouflage your not so perfect parts. Let’s break those habits right now, and start making the most of the new, improved you. Hunching your shoulders and folding your arms will NOT disguise your tummy. Good posture will.
10. Develop your walk
    Find a pavement café, buy yourself a cappuccino, and spend an hour people- watching. Look for gorgeous, sexy walks. Identify somebody with a walk you love, and start to model this. Do you like a strong, controlled stride, or a Marilyn Monroe style wiggle? Practise until the walk becomes your own. In the meantime, fake it with style.

Part Five

Think Yourself Gorgeous

So here we are, almost at the end of the course.

You look and feel much more gorgeous. Are you thinking more gorgeously, too?

Towards the end of our coaching time, I offer clients the opportunity to take part in an experiment. We arrange to meet on two separate evenings, but wear the same clothes, make up, shoes, even perfume, on both nights. We visit the same swanky, crowded bar, sit in the same area and order exactly the same drinks.

The two evenings sound identical, right?

Wrong.

There are two major differences:

• our state of mind
• the amount of fun and attention we have.

On the first evening, we arrive with no pre-conceived ideas or plans. We simply turn up. The conversation is usually good, and we chat to other customers if they approach us. A regular night out. Sound familiar?

The second evening is totally different. From the moment we open our eyes on the morning of the date, we start thinking gorgeous thoughts. We regularly affirm our gorgeousness. This continues throughout the day, and as we prepare and dress for our evening out.

Same shoes, different attitude.

We make sure we allow ourselves a few minutes in our Gorgeous Zone, to relax and get in the mood. Then we hit the town!

From the moment we enter the bar, we turn heads. We attract far more attention than we can handle. We make new friends. We are treated like celebrities. What makes the difference? Our positive, gorgeous state of mind.

“In essence, you are gorgeous to the extent that you believe you are.”
Fiona Harrold

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Dance

They’re playing your song. Get up and strut your gorgeous stuff. Say no to thoughts of “sitting this one out.” Go ahead and join the dance. You owe it to yourself.

2. Keep on Writing that Journal

Let me know when you celebrate your first journal-writing anniversary.

3. Call in the Professionals

Invest in regular facials. Book an Image Consultation. Keep your hair chic and glossy. These are not luxuries. You’ve earned them.

4. Begin each morning visualising your best, most attractive you

Affirm your gorgeousness. Take steps towards your goals every day.

5. Sit in your Gorgeous Zone, and think back over the past 6 weeks

Picture your rose in full bloom. Feel proud of how far you’ve come. Enjoy looking forward to the wonderful life ahead of you. It’s there for the taking – TAKE IT!

This isn’t the end of your journey. It’s just the beginning. Keep on being gorgeous, and spread some charm and beauty in this world.

I wish you all the very best.