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A Coach Reinvents herself!
I began the first stage of my own reinvention and got so hooked, I have not stopped since!
If you want to know how I do it, then just read on because the yummiest thing about reinvention is that absolutely anyone can do it, just ask my fabulous clients.
Reinvention One
Nine years ago, I found myself alone for the first time after l5 years of marriage. I had two small children and I was completely lost. At the time my main priorities in life were having clean skirting boards, a spotless kitchen, shiny children and a nice meal waiting for my husband when he got home. I was in a 50’s time warp. I had not worked for 10 years, had lost any confidence I had in my abilities and to top it all the electric typewriter had now been replaced by the computer – I was completely out of the loop.
How was I going to handle this?
After l5 years of mainly unconscious living, having all the bills paid on time and being the perfect compliant wife a very strange thing happened. Sitting up in my hospital bed, (at the same time I had a major op too), I began to feel my power coming back. It was a feeling that bubbled up through my whole body and it came from a place deep inside me.
I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but I knew it was going to be big. I knew that I absolutely had to be completely responsible for my own life from now on and I would never again be unconscious in any area of my life again. That was such a powerful realisation. The wake up call of a lifetime.
Then the work began.
I loved being attractive and having male company but didn’t feel comfortable with my weight. Now I had the motivation to do something about it. No way was I going to be alone. I didn’t want to be married but I did want to share my life. I lost over a stone, cut my hair and relaunched myself on to the social scene. I went to singles parties – often alone – and could not believe I was able to do so. I met all kinds of people, dated for the first time in l7 years and loved every moment. It was so much more fun at 36 than at l6.
Within 3 months I had met my partner and we’ve been together ever since. (If you want to know how we reinvented relationship after divorce, you’ll have to wait for another newsletter!)
Reinventing my career
The power continued because I had two children and a mortgage to support. I had to reinvent my career. I had studied counselling during the last part of my marriage, loved it and wanted to do something with the skill so I applied to become a residential social worker, which was fine until I got in the middle of two boys fighting. Cuts and bruises later, I decided this was not the most responsible job to do with small children of my own.
I still wanted to work with people though and had heard of PET Parent Effectiveness Training. I took the course here but the only place to study it was in San Diego so I went there. More determined than ever I returned to set up my Parenting Training Business and then disaster struck. Family and ex-husband pressure convinced me to find a ‘proper job’ for stability and I lost my confidence once again. I returned to full time work as a Fundraiser in an international charity. I was a fantastic fundraiser for several years but my heart just wasn’t in it.
Reinvention Number 2 was about to begin.
Reinvention Two
Coaching arrived in England and I knew as soon as I learned about it that this was what I had been waiting for all my life. My incredibly supportive partner totally believed in my passion. He knew I had to become a coach and once again the power inside me began to bubble to the surface.
I researched everything I could about it and found the perfect training. I managed to convince my boss to let me have three days off per month for 6 months and took the course. It cost me every penny of my savings but I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. What I did next though took all my courage – I leapt into the unknown. I woke up one morning a few weeks after the course and knew that I had to take my passion seriously. I walked into my chief executives office and handed in my notice.
I was now officially a coach determined to hone my skills and pass on my enthusiasm and can do attitude to my wonderful clients. However, as anyone who starts a business knows, earning a living is not always easy. I had to find other ways to earn money that did not compromise my values and worked in partnership with my coaching. I decided I wanted to be a trainer. I loved working with groups of people but how do you get to be a trainer when you’ve never done it before.
Reinvention Phase Three
I have a theory that if you want something to happen you have to make it happen. I kept telling everyone I knew that I wanted to be a trainer. I told my networks, I told my friends and finally I handed it over to the universe, and said, “World, I want to be a trainer”. And then a very strange thing happened.
I received a telephone call from Tim the sales director of Day Timers the time management experts. Tim, whom I had never spoken to before, asked me how I was getting on with my personal organiser. I had been using it for over two years by then and loved it. He asked me if I would be interested in taking their Trainers Course to teach time management. Here was my big opportunity. I could not afford to take his course having spent my savings on my coaching so I made him an offer. I suggested that he gave me the training for nothing and that in return I came to work for him as a Day Timers Trainer. Guess what? He agreed and the rest is history.
Ongoing change
I could go on and on. There’s always a new hairstyle as every visit to the hairdresser offers the opportunity to reinvent myself once again. Why have the same style twice. There’s always a different way of honing my skills and learning something completely different. There’s always a new way of growing my relationship with my teenagers and my partner.
The trick to reinvention is to know what’s most important to you, understand your values and get out there and live your life in the way you want to live it. Life is not a dress rehearsal. I believe that life offers a fabulous opportunity to reinvent yourself as often as you wish. There is no excuse for getting stale. If things go a little quiet or get too comfortable, I ask myself what’s next Francine, what big adventure are your ready for now. And guess what there is always one waiting for me right round the corner.
