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Daily Mirror: Home Alone - What Now?
Daily Mirror, September 14th 2004
Overview
At 48 Lynette Culleton is home alone for the first time in her life. The last of her three children, Lisa, left home eight weeks ago and her once noisy home is now very quiet. She has gone from wishing for more privacy and time on her own to having far too much of both.
Lynette left home at 20 to marry and, although she has been divorced for thirteen years, her life has been busy with bringing up her daughters single-handedly. She has also worked during much of that time, as a full-time nurse, so never had much time to herself. The novelty of having her home to herself is wearing off and the reality of this new stage of her life is sinking in.
The Recovery Plan
1. Feel Upset.
It's natural to feel upset at a time like this. Lynette's life has been turned upside down very abruptly. When her daughter moved out a few weeks ago, she also lost her best friend. She loved going shopping with Lisa, having lunch together on Saturdays and there was always someone to chat to in the evenings.
Now that Lisa has a new partner and young daughter of her own, she life will never go back to how it was. That's a lot to feel upset about, so don't feel in the least silly to feel that loss acutely. In order to move on to the next stage of your life, it's vital to let yourself grieve and accept how you're feeling.
2. Get a New Routine.
Lynette used to have a routine built around her daughter and granddaughter. Now that's gone, she needs to create a new one. I am sure that Lisa is missing her too, so she should make arrangements to see her daughter when it suits them both.
She doesn't have an immediate network of friends and invitations to fall back on. In the short-term, she needs to relaunch herself socially, call up some old friends and get some new ones too.
It's vital to have things to look forward to, outside of work. Lynette enjoys exercise, so this is the time to join a new gym to feel energised and upbeat. Think of all those things you never had time to do before and plan to do them.
3. Make a Decision.
What Do You Want? Do you want to stay where you are and improve the life you have or do you want a completely different life?
Right now Lynette has a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to create a whole new life for herself. She has worked tirelessly all her life, only taking time off from work when her children were very young. She has been a full-time 'giver', as a mother and professionally as a nurse.
For the past thirteen years since her divorce, she has been a single parent as well. The time has come when Lynette can step back and think about what would be fabulous for her, and she certainly deserves that.
4. Be Bold!
Lynette has decided to opt for a dramatic new life. She knows that she could improve on the one she's got but feels more excited by the prospect of a brand new one! She has tremendous skills as highly qualified nurse that she can take with her, anywhere in the world.
As Nottingham is the only place she has lived, it's time to see more of the world and her options are numerous. The one that she feels drawn to is training as an Aesthetic Nurse enabling her to carry out non-surgical cosmetic procedures, and work alongside a cosmetic surgeon or in an upmarket spa. This would allow her to fulfil a lifelong dream of living in the Caribbean and New York. She can easily rent her home out and comfortably cover her mortgage in this way.
This type of work would bring her much more money than she has ever earned and give her a lifestyle and quality of life that she yearns for.
5. No Regrets.
Lynette is aware that her decision may be criticised or laughed at by some people. She must ensure that she pays no attention to this, reassuring herself that this is what she must do for herself at this point in her life. Her family will support her, whatever she does, and she knows that if she doesn't take this big step, she'll regret it and always think, 'what if?'
After six months if she decides that Barbados and Manhattan are not for her, she can always return home to Nottingham. Lynette is ready for this Big Change and she's determined to live the rest of her life with no regrets.
Go for it Lynette!
