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Life Coaching is for Men too!
As a man buying a life coaching book, what did I feel? Embarassment mainly, the shop assistant must think I'm a saddo, that I've got no friends and that I'm a bit of a jessie.
What do I think now, two years later having read both Fiona's books (contributing a comment for the Ten Minute life coach) and having benefited from having her as my coach for just over a year.
Well I must feel different because I've bought many more books from Dale Carnegie to Norman Vincent Peale and whilst I do not go out of my way to tell people that I have got a life coach, I am more than happy to discuss it with people and it is surprising how many times it comes up in conversation. And do people look at me in horror or with a patronizing smile, as I feared? Well no they don't, and the great thing is that if they did, I now wouldn't care!
Another senior colleague at my Company is also now using one of Fiona's executive coaches and my staff are benefiting from the ways in which I am encouraging them to break through their own self imposed limitations and achieve their goals. And what does that mean for me a great sense of reward, a happier and more fulfilled team and an easier life for me as the team are accepting and relishing increased responsibility.
Why coaching?
So why did I but the book in the first place and why did I then contact Fiona and ask her to be my coach?
On the surface I had everything, gorgeous girlfriend, two great kids, good job, nice house and a nice car, but something was missing, whilst all of things gave me happiness, I wasn't truly happy but I didn't know why. Through coaching I established that I lacked in self belief all my life and I certainly did not love myself - that was something that I had been distinctly discouraged from doing as a kid.
I had a high profile job but in many ways I felt that I was inadequate, which had driven me on as I sought to prove myself and the more things I had in my life the more pressure I was putting on myself - to be the perfect parent, partner, boss, friend etc. So rather than these things giving me happiness they just piled on the pressure and made me more unhappy.
The difference coaching made
Coaching enabled me to understand myself better than ever before and identify ways to enhance my view of myself and accept myself on the good days and bad. As time has gone by, my self belief and confidence have grown enormously and from being incredibly self conscious and racked with self doubt I am now able to achieve things I would have thought were impossible for me and gain enjoyment from all areas of my life.
Coaching is now enabling me to ensure that the way I spend my time fits with my priorities in life. Like most working fathers, my kids and my partner are without doubt the most important thing in my life, but they used to only get the tired me and I was a weekend father. I am now addressing this without being racked with guilt as I break the "jacket on the back of the chair" culture.
So I would encourage any man who is feeling embarrassed about considering life coaching not too go for it and I am sure you will reap the benefits.
by Andy Nibloe
(Andy is a director of one of the world’s leading independent insurance and reinsurance brokers)
