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Believing In You
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're usually right."
Henry Ford
When Henry Ford coined his famous phrase, it was at a time when no one believed in him, except himself. He believed success was possible.
Whether your dream involves a creating a company, a product, is about finance, health, improving your home life - whatever, chances are you need to take a look at what beliefs currently surround you. Think of them as part of your plan for success.
A plan focuses your mind and actions. Beliefs can underpin that plan and make it possible, or they can trip you up and kick you when you’re down. Taking a ‘belief MOT’ now is stage one of gathering resources; the beginnings of what will become your plan of action.
Put simply, you decide which beliefs support and assist you, and they stay: the rest however, go! Your beliefs are not some solid cerebral list etched in stone. They are fluid; we pick them up, and we can put them down again at any time - a bit like catching a cold!
- If you took a look at your beliefs, which ones would you keep, and which would you leave behind?
- In what way do your current beliefs serve you?
deserve success
"Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become"
Jim Rohn
Do you believe you deserve success? Do you believe no matter what happened in your life previously, no matter how you failed, or in what way you thought negatively, that the past does not equal the future? Because if you believe that; that the past does not equal the future, then the world really does become your oyster.
By accepting that basic human belief, your life will instantly begin to upgrade, and you will see yourself as someone who attracts goodness, oozes potential, and deserves success. Isn’t that the beginnings of the ‘wow’ factor?
"I’ve often been asked for the secret of my success, and the answer is just that I’ve failed more times than anyone else!"
Richard Branson
Peter’s call
"I just had to call and thank you for the coaching we did together. It’s amazing, because it’s not just affected me and my world, but that of my wife and son as well,” so said Peter, who called me spontaneously from New York last night. Peter and I had coached on the subject of work/life balance; his busy work schedule which involved frequent overseas business trips, and how it fitted in with what had always been a successful marriage and rewarding relationship with his son.
“The thing is that now I and my wife both know we believe in each other; we haven’t forgotten about each other and that we both exist. We both always knew this of course, but we forgot to communicate our dreams for fear of hurting the other one – and in the process forgot to keep believing what we had was flexible and strong enough to withstand the changes and new opportunities that life brings. I’ve now shared my moving abroad plans with her as I said I would, and she’s shared her needs to stay home for a year or so to help our son into college, etc.
I know I can now stay focused with the business, and even though we will put the move off for a little while, when it does happen it’ll be for us both, with both our inputs, and not just my enthusiasm working overtime and worrying I’m dragging a good woman behind without her involvement. We are a great team."
Peter’s call came as a huge surprise and a joyful break to my late night shopping spree. He had been such a positive person to begin with, open to challenge, contemplating the many differing points of view I threw at him with an insatiable enthusiasm to get his increasingly separate home and work life back on track and into sync.
He knew he loved his wife that they were both devoted, but somehow had lost that connection, that ability to communicate on the deepest level; dreams and fears. I asked him to support his belief of having a good marriage by visualizing and mapping out his ideal outcome. In short he created his ideal life, and was brave enough to share it with his wife.
- What would your ideal life be?
- What would you have to believe in order to create it?
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it"
Danny Kaye
I believe in you!
One of the nicest parts of coaching for me is the reaction I get from people when they realize I give them my complete, 100% belief. I believe in them, and consequently demand that they believe in who they are, too. This is usually a new experience, and can sometimes be for the first time in their life.
How would it be to live your ideal life right now?
My guess is that it’ll take a little getting used to. Indeed there might even be some old beliefs that try to unseat this new vision, that may even try to bring you back down to earth again with a bang.
"That kind of success isn’t for someone like me"
"I’m not big enough/didn’t get the right education/came from the wrong place"
I’ve heard them all before - many from my own lips!
It’s what you believe that counts.
Karen's story
"But, do you think it’s actually possible to change my negative beliefs?" asked Karen a couple of months ago, during her first nervous enquiry about coaching. She’d tried everything else, read every book, compiled many lists (!!) yet had no tangible result to show. Nothing had changed in her life. Her life was a battle zone. She saw dark clouds on every horizon. The cup was definitely half empty.
At the beginning I challenged her to suspend negativity, and believe that ‘yes’ she could change her beliefs. She was desperate. We began to coach.
The two great motivators we have in life are pleasure and pain. Getting in touch with one or the other can give us the focus to see the work through; challenge beliefs we know haven’t worked, and ultimately begin upgrading who we are.
Eight weeks later Karen has a promotion at work, and is no longer prepared to accept the same kind of boyfriend relationship in the future. She believes she can do better, she is worth more. She has upgraded her life. In the beginning pain was her prime motivator (she needed to change things). Now it’s a mixture of the two, which is a great improvement.
There will be a time very soon when motivation will be primarily pleasure – she will be able to see her ideal life more clearly, it will seem more vibrant and colourful, and ‘yes’ she will be drawn towards it. How cool will that be? What do you think will be possible if she has that basic belief? Because no matter how powerful pain can be to fire us up to achieve, pleasure can be 100 times more potent.
"Persistent people begin their success where others end in failure"
Edward Eggleston
- What is your prime motivator?
- Do you believe it’s the right one to assist you in moving forward?
- If you were to step on the accelerator, what would be the first action you would take towards achieving your ideal life?
Living your best life.
Creating your best life is the highest gift you can give to yourself, and the rest of the world. By living and exceeding your highest potential you add light to the world; you contribute. As Sharon, another client said to me this afternoon, “I don’t want to arrive at the end of my life with regret that I didn’t live my best life, my dreams; that I didn’t believe in myself enough.”
And there is really only one antidote to that-
CARPE DIEM! - Seize the day!
I look forward to meeting you at Saturday’s seminar.
Best Wishes,
Mike
