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It's Valentine's Day!
It's Valentine's Day once again. I know we don’t need a special day to tell the one we love how much they mean to us, and yes, it's all so commercial, but it's great to have a legitimate opportunity to spoil each other with cards and presents and romantic meals for two.
Valentine's Day makes it almost compulsory for us focus on the special person in our lives and I don't care how schmaltzy it all seems, if there is a chance to give even more love, I'm all for it.
As we get busier and busier in our lives, spending time with the one we love often gets put on hold. As a Relationship Coach, I'm here to tell you, never take each other for granted.
Actions speak as loudly as words. Being present with your partner is probably the best present you can give on Valentine’s Day. Too many relationships breakdown because people drift apart – we need to spend time together to stay together.
So how can we find ways to keep our love alive well after Valentine’s Day ends?
Love Letters
One way of keeping love alive is to have Valentine's Day more often. Love letters straight from the heart, are a fabulous way of letting your loved one know that you care.
Henri Zimmand set up the Love Letter Campaign in memory of his wife Anda who died two years ago. Each Friday he would send her flowers and a letter and he believes it helped keep their 20-year marriage alive.
He said "a woman wants to hear that her husband loves her in turn, the man wants to know he is appreciated and doing something right." Henri received 5,000 love letters from all over the world last year and offered a prize to the best one.
What a fabulous idea. It doesn’t have to be every week of course, but keep Valentine's Day alive during the year by sending little notes, or cards, or cut out snippets from magazines that connect you to your lover. Keep it simple. Novels are not needed. However, I don't know anyone who doesn't like receiving a special letter in the post!
Pump up the Passion
Everybody is tired these days. Long days at the office and too much travelling often leave us far too tired for passion. One client told me it's virtually unheard of for her and her partner to make love during the week. It's become a Saturday night special, and even then it takes effort.
However after exercising more during January, she was excited to report that they are back up to twice a week and one time is always during the week! More than this, their relationship has improved on a daily basis because midweek passion has kept them connected and stopped them from feeling like flat-share friends instead of lovers.
The fitter you are the easier it is to keep physical. Working out gives us much more energy to make love and keep our relationships on fire. Statistics show that the average 20-30 year old has sex 2-3 times a week. 30-40 year olds 1-2 times per week and 50 plus are back up to 2-3 times a week.
I guess it depends on what's going on in your life, but it's important to stay intimate with your partner to maintain your closeness and warmth towards each other. Making love is part of being loved and there is nothing better than the feeling of connection after a night of passion.
Sealed with a Kiss
I love kissing. I don't know about you, but a wonderful long kiss on a pair of soft lips is my idea of heaven.
Did you know that kissing helps prevent tooth decay? Dr. Peter Gorden, Dental Advisor at the British Dental Association, explains.
"After eating, your mouth is full of sugar solution and acidic saliva, which cause plaque build up. Kissing is nature's own cleaning process." He adds, "It stimulates saliva flow and brings plaque levels down to normal." I asked my own wonderful dentist if this were true. As I've known him a lot of years now I suspect he thought I was being suggestive, but he agreed with Dr. Gorden and then told me to "open wide"!
Did you also know that kissing relieves tension? A passionate kiss is a great relaxation technique. Apparently when your mouth is in a kissing position, you are almost smiling, and it's almost impossible to smile and feel tense at the same time.
Because your breathing becomes deeper and your eyes close when you kiss, which is what you do when you relax, kissing is a perfect way to shut out the world and connect with your partner.
If that was not enough another reason to keep on kissing is that it slows the aging process by helping to tone your cheek and jaw muscles, so they're less likely to sag. How much more evidence do you need to seal it with a kiss!
I wish you all a wonderful Valentine's Day. I hope that love is in the air for you and romance is blossoming and that you'll keep the Valentine's feeling alive all year through.
