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First Impressions - Five Tips for Getting them Right!
"You never get a second chance to make a first impression"
Whoever said it, said it right! Throughout my career as an actor I've been in the "hot seat" more times than I care to remember and at times it felt like my entire career hinged on how I literally walked through that door - how did I present myself, did I make a good first impression?
Likewise I've sat on numerous audition/interview panels and both experiences have taught me that yes, like it or not first impressions do count!
Research actually shows that within as little as 10 seconds of meeting someone new we've already made up our minds without even as much as an utterance of "Hello"! Sounds daunting doesn't it? But meeting someone for the first time, be it for business or pleasure, doesn't have to be an ordeal.
The trick is to do your homework and plan ahead. Prepare for the occasion, think it through and bring your 2 best friends with you - enthusiasm and self-esteem - and you won't fail to turn your "performance" up a notch or two.
My work as a performance coach is geared at ensuring my clients present themselves in a confident assured manner and "perform" at their best. So here's five tips I trust you'll find invaluable to help the inner you shine through, whatever your adventure and make your all-important first impression a memorable one - for all the right reasons.
1. Look Good
My career has taught me to appreciate the power of that initial split-second walk through the door and I've been even more surprised at how many people simply don't grasp the idea of basic grooming. If you want to create a great first impression it's imperative you look cared for.
Before an important meeting choose your wardrobe at least a day in advance. Don't leave it to the last minute or you'll only drive yourself crazy.
If you look pristine, you'll feel pristine: you will ooze more confidence, you'll feel comfortable and proud to be you and will automatically transmit a positive message. If you show you care, you convey an air of respect and you'll attract respect. What a great start!
2. Relax
Trust me, getting over-anxious about a meeting only serves to weaken your position. I've met many actors who could do the job "standing on their head" yet lose out due to lack of preparation and uncontrolled nerves. So come on, regardless of whom it is you need to impress, get comfortable with yourself.
Remind yourself why you want that job/date/client and remind yourself why they should find you irresistible. Give yourself permission to get excited. Nerves vs. excitement, which is it to be? So, before you leave your home/office look in the mirror, mentally run through your forthcoming meeting. Close your eyes and imagine yourself and the person you are about to meet on opposite ends of a sea-saw perfectly balanced on a par with one another. See them as your equal.
Just before you enter the meeting recall a moment that never fails to bring a spark to your eye; imagine you're pressing a button that will activate that spark and make an entrance to be proud of; controlled, assured, enthusiastic.
3. Never moan
Have you ever met someone for the first time who constantly bemoans their ex boss/employee/partner/flatmate? Ask yourself what was your first impression of them? Exactly. Just don't go there, even if the conversation is tempting you down that road take a u-turn fast.
Sometime back I worked with a well-known director, notorious for being "eccentric" and perhaps a little bit "difficult". In subsequent interviews I am always asked what was this person like to work with? Having done my homework I tune into the positive experiences I gained from working with such a "great" and evolve the conversation to it's next stage. Berating the ex is unattractive and creates an atmosphere of distrust.
So, if you are still clinging to excess baggage leave it firmly outside the door, there's absolutely no room for it if you want to make a good first impression!
4. Be generous
Conversation is a two way street, so don't talk at someone. Nervous chatter is an obvious symptom of being nervous. So listen up! Share the conversation as if you were sharing a precious gift with someone special.
If you want someone to be interested in you, be interesting. What have you done lately that makes you interesting? Bring it to the fore. Be proud. Always prepare in advance what I call my "mini me". A short summary of myself with a witty anecdote. This will stop you running off at the mouth in the wrong direction.
My "mini me" was my saving grace a number of years back when I auditioned for my first role in a major movie. A few months previously I had just suffered the loss of my sister very unexpectedly and I'll admit at the time of the audition I was still in "headless chicken" mode, but I wanted that part more than anything so I knew I couldn't let my grief overshadow my chances. I jotted down beforehand what I was going to talk about and rehearsed it over and over and over, put my grief to one side and went for it. Yip! I got the part!
The film was Moll Flanders with Morgan Freeman and Robyn Wright Penn. You can see me right at the beginning giving birth to Moll! So take heed and make sure you're having the "right" conversation at the "right" moment! You'll come across as an open, confident person who's comfortable to be around!
5. Enjoy yourself
Have fun. Be in the moment. There's something quite irresistible about a person who appears relaxed, happy and enjoying every moment. It spells "zest for life" and shows people you're comfortable in your own skin. Who wouldn't be impressed with someone like that - like you!
Even if you sense 101 every day distractions clambering for prime position in your mind, just take a moment to yourself and breathe deeply and calmly. Slow down, take your time and enjoy!
Good luck!!
