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Embrace Your Values!
By Francine Kaye
Gordon Brown recently unveiled his manifesto for rebuilding Britain's national purpose and direction. Now whether you like his politics or not, what he had to say about values lies at the very root of us all. In this major speech, The Chancellor insisted on the need to rediscover a clear sense of "who we are as a country." He called it "reviving Britishness." He said this means "recovering the shared values that have bound the nation together throughout history - not race or geography but values such as fair play, tolerance and liberty, adaptability, openness and creativity."
I spend my time coaching people towards reviving their own personal values, sense of purpose and direction and to gain a clear understanding of who they are as individuals. Is Gordon Brown a closet coach, willing the nation to reconnect with our shared values and thereby reinvent ourselves!
As well as honouring our collective values, it's also vital that we understand our own personal values. These values are at the core of who we are, they define who we are. Interestingly, I have yet to come across anyone, when they first begin coaching with me, who really understands in detail what's most important to them, let alone lives their values on a daily basis.
Personal Values
It will soon be three years since 9/11. Most of us recall vividly where we were at the time of the tragedy. Later, because technology is so amazing, we had the sad opportunity to hear recorded telephone conversations that some of these people trapped in the Twin Towers made to their families.
I remember thinking that the World Trade Centres were full of offices set simply to enhance world trade. The purpose of so many of the young healthy individuals who worked in them was to make money for their companies and, I'm sure, for themselves.
However, what I heard in their desperate telephone calls home surprised me. When these people had phoned home none of them said, "look after my big house, my BMW or my portfolio of investments". They said, "tell the children I love them", and "I love you." These people were not ill or old; they had their whole lives ahead of them.
Yet when they faced the reality that their time on this earth may be up, their real values lay not in material possessions but in their love of their families.
I don't want you to have to wait till life becomes extremely uncomfortable or you face a life-or-death situation in order to re-examine what's most important to you. As anyone who coaches with me will tell you, it is absolutely vital to understand your personal values for the sake of your personal fulfilment and happiness. If you don't know your own values, you'll end up living someone else's values - actually someone else's life.
Inner Compass
A value is a "must have" in your life. It's a fact that when what you do and what you value marry together, you experience your highest level of productivity both at work and in your life. Only then will you achieve the balance vital to your achieving success and fulfilment in all you do.
Your values will act as your compass, which guide you towards successful achievement of your goals. Your values must underpin your goals.
Taking time to understand how to honour your values helps you to create a strong sense of direction. This 'inner-compass' will always point you towards your fulfilling future. Every thing we want to do or be is based on honouring our values. Values keep you going when the going gets tough.
When you know what you value most in life and also the exact priority order of your values, you'll then have your own unique set of tools to help you to choose how you live, what work is right for you, which relationships to choose and what you are willing or unwilling to compromise on.
Understanding your values is the key to making the right decisions about how and where you spend your time. You'll begin to see that wasting your time not living in alignment with your personal values causes all your frustrations and upsets.
Read how Francine's client Jenny realised the importance of knowing her true values.
Jenny's Story >>
Value Added Tips (VAT)
- Create a list of what you 'must have' in your life
Some examples might be:- respect
- creativity
- growth
- independence
- a relationship
- integrity?
- Prioritise your values
This can sometimes prove tricky, but just ask yourself, which value, if you could not honour it, would make you most crazy. You may discover that unless you honour your value of independence, it's pretty hard for you to be in a romantic relationship because being with someone 24/7 would drive you nuts. - Begin to notice whether your performance in work and out of work aligns with your values.
- Notice where your compromise your values and where you honour them. Be aware of your experience of both.
- Decide to start living in line with your personal values and watch your life transform.
For a two-hour Values Blueprint Session with Francine, contact her at francine@fionaharrold.com
