Home > Articles > Love & Relationships > Divorce is a National Crisis
Divorce is a National Crisis
It’s a fact of life that relationships, even the seemingly most solid of them, can and do breakdown. Statistics show that 41% of first marriages will end in divorce and each year in Britain 300,000 people, at any one time, are going through divorce.
None of us enter into relationships, especially marriage, expecting it will end. Most of us are looking to improve our lives by adding the richness that comes from sharing it with a person we love and who loves us. But inevitably it’s just a matter of time before someone gets upset, the walls of protection go up, or they defend, attack or withdraw.
Rebuilding your life when your relationship ends is a challenge that many of us have faced and some of us have yet to experience. When you commit fully to an exclusive relationship, however much you love the other person, there are no guarantees of longevity. For all kinds of reasons marriages break-up, long-term partnerships breakdown and promising new relationships often never get off the ground. Ending a relationship can leave you feeling anything from the high of total relief to the low of emotional despair and everywhere else in between.
Whilst all this sounds very much like entering a black hole without a flashlight, it’s actually not all doom and gloom. How you cope with your breakdown has much to do with the kind of support you get.
Facing the Challenge of Rebuilding Your Life
Over the past few years I have been studying the challenges of rebuilding your life after relationship breakdown. Having been divorced myself for nearly 10 years; I have personal experience in going from breakdown to breakthrough and rediscovering a life that I absolutely love. I knew that if I could do it, then so could my clients and by using the fabulous strategies that I have developed, in much less time too.
It is possible to take charge of your life and be your best in times of change. It is possible for you to take charge of your career and finances when what you’d rather do is hide under the covers. It is possible, even though you are going through an emotional process to surf the pain and use the calmer waters to take action that will take your life forward in the direction you want it to go, instead of drowning in sea of tears. And, whilst it may be the last thing on your mind right now, it is possible to begin to design how your future relationships will look too.
Paul found himself in this very situation right at the beginning of our coaching sessions. Let him tell you how the strategies we have worked with have helped him cope with the early stages of separation and divorce.
Time is a great healer, but time is also very precious. How much time do you want it to take before you feel whole again? If you are ready to divorce without drama and stay buoyant not bitter and are committed to getting your life back, then I’d love to support you to do that and you know how to contact me.
Now, its over to Paul to hear his story.
Paul's Story
“Yikes!
The last few months have been very difficult. In January I decided to split with my wife after 16 years of marriage and 18 years together. Within two weeks of that decision I had moved out of the family home and was living in rented accommodation.
No decision in my life has been harder and I think the main reason for this was our two wonderful children. How could we ensure they came through this unscathed? At the time this seemed an impossible task.
Nothing could have prepared me for the emotional roller coaster that was to follow. They say that moving house, changing jobs and public speaking all bring about stress and upset, but for me none of these came even close to the trauma caused by separation.
Just before separating I had decided to seek out a life coach as my relationship had deteriorated badly, I was running a successful business but somehow did not feel fulfilled and my social life played second fiddle to my drive for business success.
I had heard Fiona Harrold talking on the radio and so looked at her web site, and chose Francine Kaye. As soon as I spoke to Francine I knew we would get on. She quickly understood the issues and I felt I had an ally to help me through.
Over the next three months in just 10 sessions I feel I have re-connected with myself. I have learnt to listen and understand far better, to have greater self-awareness, and most importantly to be true to myself.
Francine coached me to come up with my own solutions and she is not afraid to contribute suggestions and strategies, which I have found particularly helpful. At times it has not been easy, as I have been in a fog of confusion, but Francine has guided me and encouraged me along the way, helping me to clarify what I really want and then developing plans and strategies to achieve these goals.
Coaching is not about focusing on the past but about living in the present and determining what you want in the future. Francine has listened to me without judgment, understood me and encouraged me to make the decisions which are right for me.
It has been an incredibly difficult time that Francine has helped to make a whole lot easier. For me getting a life coach was a great decision.
Paul
