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Confidence and Charisma
1. Know your outcome.
Developing extra reserves of confidence and charisma is as straight forward and possible as making a date with an old friend to catch up on all the gossip, or stopping by the garage to fill up with petrol. The secret is to know your outcome. To make the date with a friend, you already know what the outcome will be, equally the same with filling up the car. So, why is it we don’t do the same with our lives? Is it any wonder we get a little lost; remember just one degree off course now if left unchecked will widen and become much greater in the future.
Ask yourself why you want to stock up on confidence and charisma. What will having more bring? Imagine your life with more, and get really colourful with your thoughts. Hear the sounds of a more confident and charismatic you in action. Where would it be? What would you look like? This is not a one off exercise; the more you do this the more focused, and ultimately more successful you will be. So, get dreaming, and then write it all down – this is your blueprint for action; knowing your outcome.
2. Become a model!
No, I’m not suggesting becoming a Naomi Campbell or a Helena Christiansen (unless that’s your plan of course, then go for it), but rather modelling the best bits of those you aspire to be like. We all have our idols, those we wish we could be closer to in the panache stakes.
As a 14 year old, I always idolised David Cassidy (anyone else remember him?). For those who don’t; he was a famous pop singer and actor, lived in LA, starred in the television series ‘The Partridge Family’ – and most importantly had Susan Day playing the part of his sister. So, for a while in the mid 70’s I combed my hair like him, I got some ‘cool’ looking training shoes just like the ones he wore, I learnt to play his songs and began singing in my own band. Pretty soon, even though my admiration for David Cassidy waned, what I was left with was a life I had wanted all along; that of a singer.
So, what would it be for you? Who would you like to emulate? It could be different facets of several people. Imagine yourself with a new set of attributes, and ask yourself how they would fit into or change your life. How would it be if you had the poise and sexiness of Sharon Stone, or the sophistication of Princess Michael of Kent, or the sheer optimism of Fiona Harrold? Read up on your idols, understand something of their essence, and then recreate the best in your own guise.
3. Make a shopping list.
That’s right, but the good news here is that it won’t be one involving pushing a trolley round your favourite supermarket. This is all about creating the new habit of planning your weekly rituals and tasks, and writing them down. I do mine like clockwork every Sunday night; mapping out my week ahead with a huge list of ‘things to do’, and then I break it down into days. What most of us forget are the fun things, like having a coffee with a friend, going to the park (it’s summer, so we really shouldn’t forget to do that), or simply putting your feet up one evening and watching a great DVD with someone special.
By planning your time, and deciding in advance to schedule in the pampering, the joy, the fun bits, we send a message to our subconscious mind that we value ourselves. We are declaring love and respect – for ourselves! If anyone is in any doubt of how to do this and feel in need of a push, Fiona’s ‘Falling in Love with Yourself’ CD will point you in the right direction. It’s full of positive beliefs and enough different approaches to start taking care of YOU, that you’re sure to find one that’s right for you.
4. Take action.
This is the old chestnut; the single key that will make all our hopes and desires for a better, more confident and charismatic life possible. By being brave enough to schedule in some tasks that will push us a little outside of our comfort zone, and then following through with them, we begin to prove to ourselves that a brave new us is possible.
Whilst working with my clients on this type of approach we place as much importance in achieving a successful laundry, as we do in attending that networking evening at the local business association – you know the one that used to fill you with terror. Well guess what? By taking it a step at a time and going there, what you will get back afterwards is a burst of energy, a surge in confidence and charisma like you’ve never known. In short, you will feel great.
Imagine taking these types of confidence building actions regularly, how would you feel after 2 or 3 weeks? Let me tell you; you’d be on cloud nine – you would be floating.
5. Re-evaluate.
The other thing I do each Sunday evening and whenever needed during the week is to re-evaluate, to take stock. Only by being aware of how things are going, of keeping focus and an open mind if something did, or didn’t work, and tweaking if need be, will we move forward. The alternative is to get bogged down with unanswerables.
For example, if at the end of a weekly agenda some tasks were not completed, ask yourself if they were what you actually wanted, if they were possible, if they were actually going to get you closer to where you wanted to go? Sometimes we commit ourselves to doing things because we think we should, rather than because that’s what we want and what will be good for us. Decide if last weeks’ unachieved action was the right one anyway. If not, bin it.
What worked for us? How can we build on it with this week's agenda? How can we consolidate this new found confidence? Above all, remember to support yourself; when you’ve achieved a breakthrough, reward yourself, give yourself a well earned pat on the back.
Increased confidence and charisma is possible – it’s all a matter of application. Do the work and get the reward. Have fun, and the World will party with you. Enjoy!
