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Pump up that charisma today!
Bill Clinton has it, Princess Diana still has it even after her death, and Richard Branson simply possesses it!
But what? What is ‘it’, that indefinable x-factor that turns a good President with more than a few slip ups under his belt into one of the most inspirational and respected speakers of his generation?
What raised Diana far beyond the status of fairy-tale princess and into an absolute icon of beauty and compassion?
How can one of the most focused and successful businessmen (shouldn’t that equal boring and distant?) also be seen as one of the most loved and cuddly Englishmen on the planet?
Charisma is that seemingly unattainable holy grail of the perfect personality. But what exactly is charisma, and is it only sprinkled on the favoured few of this World? The Oxford English Dictionary describes it as follows;
Charisma: Divinely conferred power or talent; capacity to inspire followers with devotion and enthusiasm.
I would put it far simpler than that; charisma is to have the ‘wow’, or ‘x’ factor. When you walk into a room everybody knows it!
Can anyone have it? Absolutely. Do you buy it from a shop, or follow a course to build charismatic muscle? Well, ‘yes’, and ‘yes’ is the simple answer – with one more most important ingredient; inner belief. That’s it. You have to believe charismatic you is possible. All the other stuff, the nice clothes, great parties, and fabulous chiselled body are important, but without that inner ‘oomph’ you’ll simply be ‘just another cutie’.
If it’s possible to build charisma why doesn’t everyone do it? Firstly, beliefs; they simply don’t believe it’s possible. Secondly; fear. The fear that if we are indeed charismatic and everything stops when we walk into the room we will stick out like a sore thumb. Ouch!
Are you ‘cool’?
Isn’t one of the attributes we admire most in a charismatic person the fact that they are not like the rest of the crowd? They are somehow detached, on another level, ‘cool’?
So, coming back to ex-President Clinton. When he speaks, no – even when he just stands and looks at you he has a knack of looking just at you. No matter if he’s on TV in front of 50 million; this is just for you. Diana was famous and all around the World, busy with her superstar lifestyle, but still she was ‘our’ princess. Hmm. Richard Branson rich beyond most of our dreams is still cuddly, friendly Richard that bumbles from one death defying feat to another. Okay, do you see a connection emerging here?
Could it be our intention? Sure. We have, and it’s important to develop an overall plan of action, a dream, a point to which we focus our plans. But it’s just as important to keep an eye on what’s happening at the end of your nose. If you’re talking to someone, talk to them with sincerity. If a camera is bothering to film you, be humble enough to respect every single person that could be on the other side of it. It’s that indefinable connection we make with others that makes us charismatic.
Liza with a ‘z’
10 years ago whilst at the theatre in London, Liza Minnelli came to watch the same play and sat right in front of me. At the interval NOBODY talked to her! I couldn’t believe it. I adored this woman’s history – what a legend. I walked up, introduced myself and just said how much I admired her.
Her reaction was amazing. It was as though nobody had ever said that to her before. She gave me her full attention, was friendly, funny, and absolutely beautiful. I felt like the superstar! The 10/15 minutes we talked seemed like hours, and I came away literally on cloud 9.
What did she have? Sincerity, focus (on me), and a humble nature that just blew me away. Simply, she had charisma.
Is charisma simply an extension of inner beauty? I believe so. And with that in mind I have to ask the fundamental question;
Do you want some?
Or are you secretly shying away of feeling that powerful? As Marianne Williamson wrote, “who are we to act small…how does that serve the World?” Precisely.
“Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never even use”
Charles M. Schultz, 1922-, Cartoonist, Creator of '’Peanuts'’
What gears don’t you use in your arsenal of fabulousness? Or to put it another way; what could you do more of that you don’t do now to create a more charismatic you? By following these 5 top tips you’ll be on your way, and by utilizing and using them every day your life will never be the same again. So, from this moment on suspend fear, embrace change, adopt and then decide to keep a new sense of fun – and really go for gold.
Decide now – and let me introduce everyone else to the charismatic new you!
Five Top Tips For a More Charismatic You
1. Get excited!
Do your goals make you tingle, jump up and down with excitement, make you want to post them in The Times? If not, they’re the wrong goals. Put pen to paper at a time when you won’t be disturbed and brainstorm for 10 minutes. Write down everything you want to do; create a £1 million company, watch the sun come up in Fiji, rollerblade in Central Park – whatever it is for you put it down, and get excited!!
2. Create a new mantra for success.
I know, I can hear you now, ‘what, a mantra, that’s so 1960’s’ But none of it. You already have mantras in place, I’m sure. What about saying to yourself; ‘I really hate Monday mornings’ whilst travelling to work every Monday morning? Or, ‘I’m really stupid for making that mistake’, when something didn’t go according to plan. So, what about creating one that supports you. For example, ‘I’m fabulous and people love me’, or ‘I love being a huge success’, or ‘I’m happy and confident in every way’. Only three rules;
• Make it personal.
• Present tense.
• Repeat it regularly and often throughout the day. I say mine when I’m driving the car, jogging – under my breath, mentally as well as aloud.
3. Fill in the colours!
Make the image of your dreams, the more charismatic you become real in your mind. See the new you. Feel the excitement in the air. What will are you wearing? Driving? Sounding like? Cologne (something suitably amazing, I hope)? What will you be saying, and where will you be saying it? I’m sure you get the idea. Research shows that the stronger a person creates their visualisation or dream, the more likely it is to become their reality. So dream, and dream BIG.
4. Write down the first action you will take
Go for a run in the park; make an appointment to speak with the manager, buy your partner flowers, whatever. Then by scheduling it into your diary commit to achieving it ASAP. In fact, now would be a great time to log on to this website’s members only area and download your very own 2004 diary.
5. Write a love letter to yourself
Why not? Buy Fiona’s CD, ‘Falling in Love with Yourself’, and do just that. Include the letter in your Success Journal (which, I hope you all have…). Imagine yourself as you looking at you; what would you be proud of about? What is special, makes you go “wow”? Make a list, write them all down.
And that’s it! Remember to treat yourself with awe and respect and the World will follow suit. Have fun, and if you’re ever at one of our ‘Fiona gatherings’ around the country come and introduce yourself, I’d love to meet the charismatic new you.
Always,
Mike xxx
