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1. Make A List

Make a list of why you love socialising. Ask yourself empowering questions and you'll certainly reap the rewards if you re-frame the situation from one of dread to one of pleasure.

What contribution can you make with regards to being good company, making good converstaion?  Don't fall into the trap of constantly re-affirming to yourself why you hate it. Ask yourself empowering questions and you'll certainly reap the rewards if you re-frame the situation from one of dread to one of pleasure.

2. Take Action

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your experience of socialising if it's not already working for you. A number of clients I have worked with have joined groups such as Toastmasters or an amateur dramatics society to help abate their fear of being in the spotlight.

Putting yourself in a situation that forces you to be more sociable and self-asssured does wonders for your self-esteem. Make a list of all the other benefits of joining such a group.  Debating groups can help you develop your listening skills and help you develop your conversational skills, whilst an acting class or an amateur dramatic group will help you with your voice tone.

3. Walk Tall

What is your body saying about you when you walk into a room? Are you happy with the message you are giving out?

If you're not happy with your posture taking even one "Alexander" Technique class will give you the confidence to walk into a room with a confident open aura.  An open body posture  gives the impression that you are comfortable with yourself and comfortable being in others company - even if you don't feel it just yet.

4. Change The Picture

Visualise yourself being the centre of attention, and a smiling room full of people welcoming you. See it for yourself. If you always associate going to parties with embarrassment or feeling awkward, then that's what you'll get.

Go into as much detail as posible. You'll be amazed at how this works. If you think you can't do this think again. You are already visualising your outcome when you constantly re-affirm and "see" yourself being awkward and guess what happens? You get exactly the result you "imagined."

5. Be Social

The best way to get better at anything is to do more of it. So if you want to socialise with success you need to get socialising. It's as simple as that. No-one becomes an expert at anything without putting in the ground work.

And your ground work can be as fun as having a dinner party and practising your new found flair. Get creative and think of ways you can practice being social in the run up to the festive season and you'll discover you reallly do have the power to be the life and soul of the party after all!