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5 Ways to Put the Passion Back
1. Concentrate on your partner’s strengths
Remember all the qualities they had that made you love them when you met. Think about how those qualities made you feel and remember what it was like to feel that good being with your partner.
Those qualities are still there, you know. The truth is that she made him feel masculine and he made her feel feminine. Is that what you are doing in your marriage right now?
2. Admire and appreciate your mate
Don’t take each other for granted. After many years of marriage, or even in the early days with 3 kids under 5, it’s so easy to let your appreciation slip.
Don’t forget to say thank you. Don’t forget to admire each other physically and mentally.
Simply appreciating the little day to day things that each other does is really saying “you matter”. The best thing you can do for your partner is make them matter.
Whatever it may be from emptying the rubbish, bringing home a pizza, rubbing your tired feet or telling them how great they look in their clothes - make each other matter.
3. Keep talking and listening
Always make time to listen and talk to your partner. Learn how to use non-blaming communication to express your feelings and your needs. Don’t bottle stuff up.
Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader however long they have known you.
Do not assume your spouse knows how you feel unless you tell them. However uncomfortable it is, if you don’t talk about you’ll only end up becoming resentful and blaming the other for not caring.
4. Keep Romance Alive
Paul McCartney once sang “don’t get too tired for love.”
He may have exhausted himself just recently, but the truth is that all great relationships need romance to survive. Women love to be romanced and men love to be appreciated for romancing.
You know exactly what to do to make each other feel special. Just make sure you do it. Make time for love even if you don’t always feel like it.
Intimacy is the bond that keeps you close.
5. There are three of us in this marriage
No, I don’t mean another person. I mean the two of you and the relationship itself.
The relationship is the third entity and it’s the invisible thread that ties you both together.
If your relationship had its own voice, what might it say about the state of your marriage right now? Would it feel strong and alive or would it say it’s tired and needs refuelling? Take care of your relationship because without your love and attention it just ceases to exist.
