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This Christmas make a stand, decide that you are going to raise a responsible independent young adult who cares about others and is not just a 'wanting machine'.

1. Get clear what you want as a parent

Most of us are so clear about trying to please our children and give them what they want that we forget about what we want. And I don't mean material things, I mean what you want out of life - what do you want as a parent, what is your purpose for being a parent?

Now it may be that your purpose is to give your children absolutely everything they want and if that is the case, you are on course. If however, like me, your purpose is to raise a responsible and independent young adult who is caring and compassionate, what you are doing may be against where you really want to be.

So next time they say, "Mum can I have…" check in with what you want as a parent and see if it fits.

2. Set a limit

I know it may seem obvious, but most parents don't do it. Set a limit you are willing to spend on your child and let them know. Tell them that you want to feel good about Christmas too and that you are only willing to spend this much because Christmas is about so much more.

Be very clear that no matter what, you will not go over that limit.

3. What do they really think it will give them?

If they still continue to pester and pester, ask this question, "What do you think having that will give you?" I know you may stump them, but they will answer and if they don't know, then why do they want it in the first place? When they tell you what they think having that thing will give them, ask them how they can get more of that into their lives now.

When we do this we realise that actually we did not want the thing, but only the quality we thought the thing would give us.

4. Encourage entrepreneurism

Now this one will really stop them, if they continue to ask, say that you are not prepared to pay for it and ask how you can support them in getting it. Now first they may turn to all the illegal things and they may need some prompting. You may need to ask how they can get the money; encourage their creativity.

Maybe they will sell things on E-bay, train others how to use Excel or build websites for others.

5. Giving vs. receiving 

I play this game all the time with my 7-year-old. I teach her about giving and receiving and how they fit together. How, if you want to let something into your life, you need to let go of something in return. So when she asks for something, I ask what she wants to give in return.

Now I don't do this to be mean or have her think about lack, I have it to open her up to the fact that money moves - it is not stagnant. I want her to understand the concept of giving and not just that of receiving. I can tell you, it has an amazing effect, she often changes her mind, she realises that she does not want it that much so she leaves it.

When she wrote her Christmas list this year, the first thing that she asked for was something for someone else. So use this concept, start a system of giving versus receiving. They may not respond at first. but keep trying it. Use it yourself first, start showing your child how you yourself incorporate it.