11
May 10

Bounce Back – What’s Your Biggest Obstacle?

Posted by Fiona Harrold | 5 Comments

What’s your Number One obstacle in bouncing back? 

The answer – You.

Life is challenging. The best-laid plans can go wrong. There’s not a single one of us who doesn’t feel we could have/should have done some things differently/better.
What makes the difference between one person who picks themselves up and carries on undiminished and another who limps through life, forever damaged? It’s whether you forgive yourself.

This might sound melodramatic. It’s not. In working with people for twenty years, I can tell you that I’ve never met anyone who didn’t need to forgive themselves for something. And, the extent to which you blame, resent, don’t forgive yourself is the extent to which you hamper a full bounce-back from life’s inevitable challenges.

I deal with this in more depth in Indestructible Self-belief and in The 10-Minute Life Coach. I’ll be talking more about it in the Bounce Back! workshop on July 3rd. It’s the key to your happiness and success.

Here’s the questions to ask and begin a full recovery. 

Complete these statements with the first thing that comes to mind. Allow yourself to list five, ten, as many things as come to mind.

1. Something I blame myself for is:

2. Something I resent myself for is:

3. Something I can’t/won’t forgive/haven’t forgiven myself for is: (choose your wording)

Next week I’ll look at how to forgive and really begin your bounce back.

For now, here’s some affirmations to begin to work with – choose the wording that feels easiest to accept right now.

1. I am now ready to give up blaming myself for . . .

2. I am now ready to let go of resenting myself for . . .

3. I forgive myself/ I am now ready to forgive myself for . . . 

What do you think? Do you agree with me? I’d love to know.

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5 Comments
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  • On 11 May 2010 at 8:30 pm Anita Marshall said:

    I have to agree that I am my own biggest obstacle or speed hump to recovery after a set back.

    I tend to dwell in the “poor me” frame of mind and can actually feel myself not wanting to pick myself up. Sort of like procrastination.

  • On 12 May 2010 at 6:16 pm Dinky said:

    Fiona, you’re absolutely right – how can you attract good things into your life when you (subconsciously) feel you don’t deserve them?
    I’m really looking forward to your next week’s advice on how to forgive yourself, as it’s an issue I’m still busy figuring out after over 25 years. Many books etc. deal only with forgiving others.
    Could you please also mention how you know for sure that you’ve truly forgiven yourself? Thanks!!! You’ve really made my week – & maybe even my life …

  • On 12 May 2010 at 8:28 pm Fiona (author) said:

    Hi Dinky,
    lovely to hear from you and thanks for your feedback. I’m going to refer your question straight back to you ‘how would you know for sure that you’d truly forgiven yourself?’

    What would change in your life?

    What would change in you – would you feel differently, and if so, in what way?

    Let me know!

    xx F

    PS You are entirely right. Sort this out and it has the potential to change EVERYTHING!

  • On 13 May 2010 at 9:10 am Dinky said:

    Hi Fiona,

    Thanks for your thought-provoking reply. I’d definitely say forgiving myself would give me an enormous burst of energy. Struggling with forgiveness issues does bog you down energetically. My health issues would clear up, & I’d become clear on my purpose in life. So far I’ve deliberately chosen to do work where I can apply some of my talents, but have reserved my favourite talents for my leisure time. (I didn’t want to get too “emotionally involved” in my work.) Now I’ve finally established what I love doing, & I’m sure there must be a way to combine them into a job/life that’s 100% me. I firmly believe that once I’ve truly forgiven myself, things will fall into place.

    PS – A little help from like-minded souls is always welcome, which is why I was going to sign up for your Bounce Back workshop(3 July). However, I can’t seem to find the registration form – a links lead to the Tele-Seminar.

  • On 13 May 2010 at 9:33 am Fiona (author) said:

    This is all very clear, Dinky. Come and join me on the new Bounce Back! teleseminar starting May 31st and I’ll be tackling this in the first session.

    I’ve decided to run the teleseminar instead of the w’shop as we received so many requests from people outside of London to run something that everyone could attend.

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