Five Steps to encourage you to LOVE YOU!

Posted by Fiona Harrold | 9 Comments

It’s that time of the year again – Love is in the air! Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with another or yourself, the truth is – the most important relationship you’ll ever have will always be – with YOU! There’s no getting away from you and the healthier that relationship is – the healthier all your relationships will be, especially with your romantic partner.

Self-love often gets a bad press but the fact is – the  more you take care of you and enjoy a healthy self-worth, the less needy and demanding you’ll be with others. The more you take responsibility for creating your own happiness, the more happiness you’ll have to share and spread around you.  As Wayne Dyer says, ‘You’ll no longer spend your life looking for the good opinion of others.’   

This Valentine’s I want you to feel great about yourself, whether you’re with a romantic partner or not. I want you to love and appreciate yourself more than you ever have. Why? Because every area of your entire life and every relationship will benefit. Furthermore, the lighter and brighter you feel, the more attractive and charismatic you’ll be to others and more of what you want will come your way. There’s nothing more attractive than confidence and feeling good about yourself revs up your confidence like nothing else. Whilst I’m all for polishing up on the outside (I really am!), it’s the glow from within that really lights you up.

And here’s my Five Steps to encourage you to LOVE YOU!

1. WORK UP SOME SERIOUS APPRECIATION

 You’re probably great at noticing the good in others – but what about you? Grab a sheet of paper and write down, What I really appreciate and admire about me is . . . List at least 5 things before you move on to the next step. Keep this list open so you can add to it as more reasons to appreciate yourself occur. Breathe as you take in the good news and absorb the many great things there are to admire about you.

2. LET IT GO!

 As soon as you start to think about what’s great about you, you’re highly likely to start thinking about what’s not great. There are only two ways to clear out old grudges – the first is to make the decision to forgive yourself. Write down, I am now willing to forgive myself for . . . List at least three things before you move on and keep the list open until you feel you’ve pulled everything out. The second way to clear out a grudge is to atone – to do something that helps make amends for whatever you are unhappy about. What do you need to do to make amend and let yourself move on

3. LOVE YOUR LOOK

  Affirm, I now appreciate my natural attractiveness. Install this programming at the beginning of the day and check every two hours that it’s still in place. Refuse to allow any negative glitches into your mindset. Repeat throughout the day, I look great/wonderful/fabulous – choose the one that feels the most uplifting. Notice, right now, how simply saying this instantly lifts and lightens you. Check out The Star Qualities, written by my client, Caroline Goyder, who works with actors and business leaders. She’s written an entire chapter on the importance of embracing your unique look, rather than wishing you had someone else’s.

4. GO ON A DATE!

 Take yourself out on a date, to a place of your choosing, a gallery, a lunchtime recital, a walk through Hyde Park, whatever appeals. Plan it, put it in your diary and let this be the first of many such occasions. Julia Cameron in the legendary creativity ‘bible’,  The Artist’s Way, calls this, an artist’s date – a sure-fire way to refuel one’s spirit and keep the juices flowing. I believe the artist’s date is vital to keep your spirit inspired and fuelled for life itself, whether you write or paint or simply want to step off the treadmill once a week and spend some quality time in your own inimitable company.  When you enjoy your own company, you’ll never fill the space with other people just to avoid being alone.

5. DON’T SETTLE

 Tell the truth about what you really want and what really matters in your life. Give yourself the gift of going for it. Get a plan, get support, get accountable and get into the driver’s seat of your life. Here’s a wonderful wisdom jewel from the writer, Caroline Myss–  It’s better to want what you don’t have than to have what you don’t want.   Amen to that!

Have a terrific Valentine’s week and whatever you do – Love YOU!