Comments on: Is it reasonable to be miserable?

By: Toma

Toma — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 11:49:33 +0000

Hi there, I just saw this thread a little after everyone else posted responses, but felt moved to comment anyway.

Firstly, I think misery is important feedback that something’s wrong, but then it’s important to get out of the mindset. Everything is an influence – our whole environment is, whether it’s the information we take in, the people we hang with, or the physical environment – so it’s important to take as much control of that as possible.

By taking responsibility for our mood and mindset we take it out of other people’s hands. Like other people here I can attest to the power of nature and beautiful surroundings to help. It gives perspective, and that’s so important when one feels immersed.

Some acceptance is needed, too, I feel. As Irena says above, it can take a while to sort things out fully, and it’s an ongoing process – life is. But it seems to me that it’s about doing the things you can to make the little changes each day and in each moment, and watching as life brightens a little more each day. Just don’t beat yourself up; stay alive. There’s time.

(By the way, I love Fiona’s comment on Oliver James’ background! Very important to put people’s opinions in context!)

By: Olivia Kaimoana

Olivia Kaimoana — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:03:24 +0000

Yes, its good to be miserable, to make us stronger as a individual in coping with the good and not so good things in life.
SOme may find this time as a lesson and being aware of the signs for a change or review of life.

By: Vassiliki

Vassiliki — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:08:26 +0000

Fionna, your answer if perfect and I wish the readers of the Guardian could read it!
I live in Hellas and sometimes I feel that the media is just a huge monster that is fed by bad news. I turn off the TV and I read only financial newspapers.
This world has been built by dreamers who did not give up when everybody else said they should. It is not positive thinking per se that changes our lives, it is positive thinking and directing your actions to what you want. Even if the destination changes, the journey fills you with experience. As Eleonore Roosevelt said “You gain courage and confidence from doing things you think you can not do”.
To me the challenge for someone’s life is to find her/his passion. Crisis or no crisis, if you find your true passion the rest is details.

By: jayne cox

jayne cox — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:57:52 +0000

I’m a coach who’s had her own life struggles and come out on top. I firmly believe the moment I decided to be ‘happy’ and live with a positive outlook, my world changed for the absolute better!

Totally agree with Fiona and yes, surround yourself with people who demonstrate how good life can be!

Jayne

By: Amanda Alexander

Amanda Alexander — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 11:15:43 +0000

Great post. Most of us (including me at times) feel we are ready to let go at the end of our rope and stop believing that things are going to be okay. I have seldom watch the News for more than a year now. Admittedly it is hard to make a decision to be happy. I’m sure we all want to, but sometimes we seflessly give up our own happiness for other we care tremendously about and we end up loosing ourselves in the process. Thank you for sharing this post Im sure many others will also find this post beneficial for them. Keep it up

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:51:42 +0000

I have just come back from a lovely massage, followed by coffee (and cake) with my husband on the way home. I have signed up as a tutor for English as a second language and can’t wait to start. Almost everything on your list is part of my life – thanks for reminding me how much I have to appreciate (that is another of my methods).

By: Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:48:15 +0000

Andrea, that was beautifully put. I’ve printed it off.

I go out for a walk with my dogs every morning and consciously stop to look at the view (it’s a Nothern city but there’s still plenty of beautfy) and appreciate the things around me.

I have had bouts of depression but I’ve learnt habits that I think will protect me from recurrences in the future. Gratitude is very powerful, as is choosing to be happy and just saying NO to those insidious negative thoughts that try to sneak in. I also surround myself with uplifting support like this newsletter and the forums on the website and back away from the negative and the cynical.

Great article Fiona, thank you.

Lucy

By: anne Roberts

anne Roberts — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:29:15 +0000

Hi Fiona, I love your passion and genuine empathy.
I live in Australia and the social problems are just as palpable as the UK.
I am a Northern Irish Aussie,of 22 years in Australia. I reinforce the power of getting off your ass and making your life “happen’. I am a hairdresser,and have achieved a wonderful career here as a freelance hairdresser. I engage 4 hospitals and have up-dated my hairdressing skills in the last few years, and I enjoy a balance between modern and the mundane! I am 61 years young and my age is no barrier to my passion of being the best I can be.
Regards,
Anne.

PS. Love your fabulous positivity!

By: Fiona

Fiona — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:05:06 +0000

I am loving these fabulous posts. How unbelievably inspiring you all are – Irena – you are awesome -Ruth – I love what you’re doing and the website is wonderful- keep going. The message from all of you is to be brave and follow your heart.

If only more people would have the courage and imagination to do the same. New research from the Careers Advice Service says that most Britons give up on their childhood career dreams in exchange for a mundane life. Over half (56%) those asked admitted that their original childhood dream job didn’t seem ‘realistic’ now they had become adults .
Of course not everyone is going to be a professional footballer or pop star but it is tragic that so many of us in Britain feel so resigned and fail to grasp that life is what we make it.

We live in an affluent country that provides free education and all manner of support along the way, everything we need to pursue our dreams is out there. More of us need to reawaken our childhood dream – get the right support

By: Deborah Morris

Deborah Morris — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:39:53 +0000

Hi Fiona
I can relate entirely with Kal & Ruth, I am a ‘do-er’ in the biggest sense. Last year I was made redundant after 27 years with the same Company, at the time I decided to stay in control, that really helped me, my decisions based on what I had no control over kept me sane.
About a year after being told I was redundant I had a real emotional wobble and found it quite hard to understand what was wrong with me. I decided to enjoy the wobble, have a few tears and then took time out to daydream, think about the best possible future. Like Kal & Ruth, sitting around doing nothing is seriously hard for me! But I did it, a bit of Cornish sunshine, time talking to my Chickens and Geese cause they don’t give advice, worked a treat. Lots of new ideas for my self emplpoyment and now 6 months later everything is good.
I do believe that you have to achknowledge your feelings for a short while but then move on.
Many blessings to you all.