How to make decisions?
Ali asks:
I want to ask your advice about how to make decisions.
I have come to realise that I have always relied on others to make my decisions for me, but that I also get very fixated on a course of action and decide to pursue it, without really thinking of the consequences.
This has cost me highly, from relationships to jobs. I know I must stop to think, but I find I get in a complete funk and panic, but I’m only aware of the decisions I make after the event.
How can I teach myself to slow down, and also how can I stop looking over my shoulder and regretting my decisions afterwards?
Di McLanachan says..
It sounds like you find it easy to lock on to a destination you think you want to reach without working through exactly why you want to go there and what the journey might be like. The result is that you may be prone to making impulse decisions which you later regret.
The best technique for slowing down and getting your decisions right is to take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle so that you have two columns, then list all the positive things about your decision in the left hand column and all the negative things in the right hand column.
Include things like benefits and opportunities that may present themselves under the positive things and impacts on others and any uncomfortable feelings you may experience in the negative column.
When you have completed your lists, take a good long look at both columns.
Which column has the most things listed? If there are negative things listed, are they manageable or are they showstoppers?
By the time you have completed this exercise, you will have a strong gut feeling for which choice to make and you will be unlikely to regret it because you have explored and documented all aspects of the process you went through to make your decision.
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