How can I help my partner to help himself?
Kate asks:
I have been with my partner for almost 5 years and love him very much and we generally get on very well. However we row often, my partner gets annoyed very easily and may stay angry over something small for a couple of days.
When we do sit down and talk, the problem is resolved quickly, but it’s hard to get him to talk. He’s extremely pessemistic about life at the moment and has very little confidence in himself, despite my efforts to boost his spirits. Sometimes I find his attitudes very draining.
I have asked him to see a life-coach/counsellor but he refuses. How can I help him help himself?
Mike Blissett says..
'You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it!'
Ain't that the truth...?
I don't doubt you love your partner, but if his actions are negative and draining then you have to switch to self preservation mode. If you could get him to do something to move this situation forward what would it be? If he won't talk to a professional, could you begin this course of action by yourself? It can often be the case that one partner takes the plunge in attempting to resolve a relationship dilemma first, before the other sees the potential benefits of this and joins.
Believe in yourself. If you feel coaching or counseling would help; do it. It would help you on several levels, not least in improving your own self belief, as well as your relationship situation. Don't let his negativity wash through you. Keep your positive 'we can fix this' attitude and believe me, you can move mountains.
Wishing you and your man success and happiness.
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