Have a Great Attitude!

Spring is finally here triggering change and growth all around. Those first daffodils always give me a feeling of newness and possibility.  The sun has come out and I physically and mentally feel my attitude to my life changing.

Having a spring in your step, having a sunnier disposition are all phrases taken from nature and translated into a way of being which impacts your attitude to everything you do.

So here’s my question for you,

“If your attitude was contagious, would I want to catch it?”

If your answer is ”No” or “Not sure” in any area of your life, then read on!

It’s your choice

Viktor Frankl, the concentration camp survivor who wrote Man’s Search for Meaning, famously said “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

I hope than none of us will ever have our attitudes tested under such outrageous circumstances, but one thing’s for sure, we all have our own personal tests throughout our lives.

So what’s your current attitude to your life? Are you a person who makes things happen, do you watch things happen or do you simply say “what happened” as life passes you by.

Your attitude is the personal choice that you make about how you are going to react and what action you will take in any given situation. Every day stuff is happening to us and around us. Our reaction to what happens and what we make it mean creates our attitude to how we will respond.

Just like choosing what to wear each day, you can choose to “wear” whatever attitude you want.

Yet as a coach, I know that choosing your attitude is the biggest struggle people have. Why? Because it means taking full responsibility for your life, dropping the blame, dropping the guilt, dropping the self-sabotage and deciding on an attitude that gives you the results you want.

Discomfort Zone

I’m pretty sure that you have had a time in your life when you have leapt up and said, “That’s it! I’ve had it, I can’t take it anymore.”  Whatever is going on is just too uncomfortable to live with any longer.   Isn’t it amazing how at that point your attitude changed completely?  Suddenly you found the strength, courage and determination to stand up and say, “I’m worth more than this.” At that moment life changes.

Only when you decide it’s time to expect more for yourself and your life are you ready to take on an unstoppable attitude.  So the question is, how do you get to that place and then stay motivated to sustain it through thick and thin?

Living the dream?

My personal example over the past two weeks may shed some light on this.  For years my vision has always been to own a home by the sea. I want to be able to walk down to a rocky beach and swim in the med and sit on my quiet terrace watching the sunset over the sea, glass of wine in hand.  It’s so clear to me that I can see it and smell it and taste it.  But what kind of an attitude would I need in order to make that dream a reality?

How can I, a single parent, with two expensive teenagers even be selfish enough to pursue my dream?  Things like that don’t happen to people like me. Besides, I’ll never, ever be able to afford it.

With that attitude I knew I would never attain my dream.  My attitude had to change.  It had to be powerful enough to break through any obstacles, it had to be determined enough to find a way and it had to be courageous enough to let me go for it.

So here’s what I did. I held on to my dream. I knew my outcome in detail.  I didn’t know when it would happen exactly, but instinctively I believed I would know when the time was right.  I researched the property market for two years, I worked harder and smarter than I’d ever worked and I rearranged my finances and looked at every possible scenario that might arise.

I took full responsibility for my dream and full responsibility for the impact it would have on others. I created an “I can and I will” attitude which I wore at all times.

And then two weeks ago I went to Majorca and on my second day found my dream home. It was everything I wanted. It had the terrace, the beach the pool, the privacy, the trees, the space, the lot!  I should have been excited, ecstatic and elated.  But suddenly, my unstoppable attitude took me on a roller coaster of emotions that ranged from dizzy to feeling sick, from excitement to sheer terror and culminated in me visiting the loo at every possible opportunity.

The test

What was going on? I could never have predicted nor have even prepared myself for such a rigorous test of my attitude.  For the next 9 days I observed the phenomenon.   My dream had manifested itself; everything was as I had planned it, so how was it that I was lurching from one attitude to another?

By day 10 I had finally figured it out.  It’s not enough to just choose your attitude, you have to commit to it. Not only do you have to ‘wear’ your attitude :it has to fit you like a glove. It has to be part of who you are and you have to live in to it every day of your life.   The moment I was able to create a committed attitude I was able to embrace my dream and go for it. Now there was no turning back.  Whatever the way forward presents, my attitude is that I will handle it.

I also know that as coach, unless I consistently walk my talk in every area of my own life, I cannot expect my wonderful clients to do the same.

Your attitude defines the quality of your life on a minute-by-minute daily basis. Choosing your attitude has the power to bring you fulfilment and happiness or have you looking back at a life half lived.

So what are you waiting for?  How long will you wait to live your dreams?  You have in you huge resources to face any challenge life offers you. Choose your attitude right now, and decide to live life your way!

Five Steps to a Great Attitude

1. Get a clear picture in your mind right now of the results you want to achieve? What dreams do you want to fulfil? How do you want your life to look? “The result/dream I want to achieve is: ”

2. Once you have the picture in your mind, ask yourself: What is my present attitude about achieving this? What attitude would I rather have about this result?

3. Try on this new attitude. Wear it for a while and see how it “fits.” Is it helping to deliver the changes you want?

4. Review the change in you and your circumstances. Do you need to change your attitude or add another attitude?

5. Commit to your new attitude, follow through. Keep choosing your attitude everyday and you will be choosing a future that works for you.