Relationship SOS

Are you ready for Valentines Day? Do you have the perfect partner in place, or are you ready to strut your stuff at super singles party?

The pressure of finding that elusive soul mate and then sustaining a successful relationship is highlighted once again, and quite honestly can you even be bothered?

The truth is that mastering relationships is still rocket science for many of us. Not only are we searching for Ms or Mr Right, once we have found them, there’s the whole business of keeping them for longer than six weeks.

Passion

Did you know for instance that passion on its own is not enough to keep your love alive? Oh no. Apparently the psychologists are in agreement that the way you cope with conflict in a relationship is the true deciding factor for its longevity.

“You’ve Changed”

What kind of person are you attracted to? What kind of qualities sweep you off your feet only to leave you all swept up a few months down the line. Take a sheet of paper and head it with the name of your last love.  Now divide the rest of the page into three columns.

Head the first column:

• The qualities I was attracted to

Write down all the behaviours and qualities that you were first attracted to. For example

• Funny
• Laid Back
• Warm
• Great dresser

Head the second column:

• What I most enjoyed about these qualities

For example:

• I loved laughing
• I was able to choose what I wanted to do
• I felt “loved”
• I felt proud

Head the third column:

• How I felt about these qualities at the end of our relationship

Examples:

• Not everything is a joke!
• Why do I have to make all the decisions?
• There’s being “warm” and being a flirt
• Clothes do not “maketh the man/woman”

Isn’t it odd that the very things you were attracted to in the first place are often the exact things that make you want to put pins in your eyes in the end.