Purpose, Passion & Destiny
Module 6: Tenacity is King

In our final module here you will hone and tone and intensify your character strengths because to be successful, and to keep being successful, tenacity is key. When things go wrong, it’s tenacity that enables you to pick yourself up, dust yourself down, learn from what has happened and move on. In this module, I’m going to focus on how you can do just that. Specifically, I’m going to look at how you can deal with the knocks when they come – as come they will.   

Maybe things have already ‘gone a bit wrong’? Or if they haven’t yet – maybe they will. This module is about making sure you stay on track, even – and inevitably – when the going gets tough, and when things go wrong. 

Part One

There may be trouble ahead…. let’s face the music and dance

Irving Berlin said it so well. Being able to handle life when the going gets tough, knowing what to do when challenges arise that you didn’t plan for, when obstacles appear and things go wrong, is vital. 

Assume, right now, that not everything will go smoothly. Assume that no matter how good your plan, how thoughtful your contingency planning, how conscientiously you’re following through on your actions, things are going to happen that will not be what you want, that will challenge you in all sorts of ways.

It’s a given.

How you handle adversity when it arrives is fundamental to your success. 

There’s no such thing as failure

Let’s look first at your attitude to ‘failure’. Because in my years of working with clients who have achieved outstanding success, it’s clear that these same clients have also usually faced some sort of ‘failure’. When something goes wrong, it’s so easy to label it as ‘failure’. Let’s get this flawed premise out of the way first of all.

Change the word failure to ‘feedback’. There is no such thing as failure, only results that are giving you feedback.

When Thomas Edison was inventing the light bulb, he had 9,999 ‘failures’. At this point, someone asked him, ‘Are you going to have 10,000 failures?’ To which he replied, ‘I didn’t fail. I just discovered another way not to invent the electric light bulb.’ And as we know, he went on and did invent the light bulb. He never saw himself as a failure, he saw each attempt he made as bringing him closer to success. With each ‘failure’ he was able to perfect his experiments until he discovered the solution that worked. With this attitude he maintained his motivation and momentum until he achieved his goal. He acted on the results – the feedback – he received.

Use Thomas Edison as your role model. Whenever something happens that isn’t what you expected, which seems to be an obstacle between you and what you want, focus on the results and the feedback you are receiving.

Whenever an obstacle to your goal arises, ask the following questions:

What feedback is this giving me? 
What can I learn from this feedback? 
How can I use this to improve my plan?

Be objective. Stand back. Think about what happened, ask yourself what went wrong and why, ask yourself what went right and why, and how you can make it work better next time. Add your new information to your plan. Your plan is a work in progress that you are always refining and polishing.

Absolutely don’t label yourself a failure. Once you put a label on yourself, it has a tendency to stick. You start to feel like a failure, you start to expect failure and you start to behave like a failure. The self-fulfilling prophecy begins.

Nurture, instead, a robustness of character. Stretch and challenge are part of your destiny. Challenge yourself to be more objective, and stretch yourself to respond. Remember, before every solution comes a problem.

Part Two

Be flexible and enjoy the journey

Cultivate an attitude of enjoying the journey. 

You may well start out on one path. It may be the ‘easy option’ – whatever form ‘easy’ takes for you. It may be what you felt was expected of you by your parents or peers. Or maybe it simply felt right at the time. And often, over a period of time, as more information comes along, as other interesting things come up, or as notes of discord start to sound… you experience a pull or a push to jump off that particular path. Perhaps this has happened to you – maybe even several times already. It may well happen again.

In fact, the reason many of us only discover our path later on in life is because of that very path – due to the necessity of developing the diverse and different skills and qualities we will need to walk it.

Even someone who feels they know their path from an early age can often find themselves having to adjust co-ordinates. My jet flying friend turned up at his RAF recruitment office only to discover in his eye test that he was colour blind. In an instant, his dream of flying disintegrated and he needed to set a new course.

It’s natural to shift course on your journey. Something will happen to make you want something different. You may experience this as pleasure or pain. Pull or push. Something else may call you, or that note of discord might be so harsh it thrusts you in another direction. Rather than viewing this as an obstacle, view it as a friend. Rather than thinking you’ve lost your way, realise you are getting a clearer view. Destiny is always evolving.

Part Three

Build your support network

The third thing you must do to handle the tough times well is this: make sure you have a great support network. The friends and mentors you have around you will make a huge difference to your ability to cope. A real support network is there for you whatever is happening in your life, and can be relied upon  to show up if you call when life gets tough. So choose your support wisely. Family and friends can be excellent, but sometimes you need more than that.

Here are three strategies I urge you to carry out:

1. Set up your own support group

Set up a group of like-minded people who all want live purposefully and passionately. Use this course as your agenda and help each other achieve your goals. There’s nothing like having kindred spirits to bounce ideas off, to help with difficulties, to celebrate success with.
At the back of my book, …
 
2. Join the Fiona Harrold website group

This will be your online support group, with people from all over the world to bounce ideas off, help with difficulties, celebrate success with! Join now on www.fionalharrold.com.
3. Get a coach. Successful people hire coaches to help them

Why not you? Don’t you deserve help too? There are wonderful coaches on the Fiona Harrold website, terrific people who will help you get the results that matter to you in your life. For my part, I would be honoured and delighted to work with you.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Recognise the importance of tenacity to achieving your dreams

 It’s a crucial character strength.

2. There will be challenges ahead

It’s inevitable. How you handle adversity when it arrives is fundamental to your success.

 
3. There’s no such thing as failure

Change the word failure to ‘feedback’, and use Thomas Edison as your role model. Your plan is a work in progress that you are always refining and polishing.

4. Cultivate flexibility and enjoy the journey

 Something will happen to make you want something different. It may be a push, or a pull, a call, or a note of discord. Rather than thinking you’ve lost your way, realise you are getting a clearer view. Destiny is always evolving.

5. Build your support network

Set up your own support group, join the Fiona Harrold website group, get a coach. For my part, I would be honoured and delighted to work with you.

It’s over to you now. You’re in charge. I know you’ll make it happen. I’m cheering you on. GO!