Indestructible Self-Belief
Module 4: Think Big

Colossal Self-belief

Contrast this with the Wimbledon Men’s Final the year before on 9th July 2001. No-one who saw that match will ever forget it. Goran Ivanisevic, a wild card entry, a no-hoper in theory, took on and beat Australia’s Pat Rafter, one of the world’s best.

No-one expected Goran to win and you didn’t have to be a tennis expert to see that his game was vastly inferior to many of his opponents, including his semi-final opponent, Tim Henman.

But Goran Ivanisevic had something none of the others had. He had colossal self-belief. What we saw that day was the sort of faith that moves mountains.  What Goran did that that day went beyond winning a tennis match; he showed us what can be done if we really believe in ourselves.

Believe and achieve

Maria Sharapova is another Wimbledon name who stunned the crowd with her tennis ability in 2004. At just 17, she powered her way brilliantly to the final and beat Serena Williams to take the title.

‘I knew I could achieve many things if I worked hard and if I believed in myself,’ said the young Russian, who left her mother and home as a child to train in America. ‘It comes naturally to fight. I’ve always been a competitor. I’ve always wanted to play matches and play points. I always wanted to compete – and I wanted to win.’

Evolutionary biologist Dr Dominic Johnson of Harvard University has studied the phenomenon of the winning underdog and believes the reason is due to self- belief, however irrational.

‘If you believe you will win then you will win,’ he asserts. ‘This self-belief has probably evolved by natural selection and started thousands of years ago when we were still primitive hunter gatherers.’

For the great boxer Muhammad Ali, sport was a way of fighting for freedom – his own and his people’s. As the young fighter Cassius Clay, he rose to prominence at the time of the civil rights struggle in America and became a cultural hero, redefining what a sports hero could do.

Even in the face of oppression, he never lost his sense of grace; sentenced to five years in prison for refusing to be drafted into the army to fight in Vietnam, he shook hands with the three white security guards as he left the courthouse.

This not only reflects his greatness but his unshakeable sense of self.

In the same way that Ali transcended his sport, leaders such as Gandhi and Martin Luther King transcended politics, sharing an unshakeable belief which allowed them to achieve what other, more cautious leaders would have believed was impossible.

Play a Bigger Game

Go beyond what you think you can do. Believe that anything is attainable. Expect the best. Be optimistic. This is the message to take from Goran Ivanisevic and exceptional people the world over.

The bigger the challenge, the more you rise to the occasion. In other words, play a bigger game.

Play a game of tennis with a weaker opponent and your game dips to accommodate them. Play with a better player than yourself and your game invariably improves.

In any area of life you don’t know how good you are until you meet a big enough challenge. The heroes of the Second World War were originally everyday folk who found themselves tested as never before.

Thousands of ordinary men and women – not professional soldiers – became extraordinary. Why? Because the situation demanded it. Without that urgency they might never have known how smart, brave, resourceful, and downright magnificent they really were.

When, in 2000, over 100 Battle of Britain heroes were reunited, many talked of their fear, but also of how they overcame it. ‘I’d be dishonest if I said I was never frightened,’ said one Spitfire pilot, Air Commodore Archie Winskill, then in his 80s, ‘but I learned to live for the day and never think further ahead than the next battle. I was serving my country and that gave me a huge sense of pride. Fate had produced people such as me to do a job and we did it without question. I was glad I could.’

Untapped potential

Who knows what lurks beneath your surface? Do you?

Unless you think big enough, you might not. One of the most popular British TV programmes is ‘Faking It,’ where a plucky individual is groomed for four intense weeks to acquire – perfectly – a new skill. You see hot dog sellers turned into prize winning haute cuisine chefs, a sheep shearer turned into a hip London hair stylist, a macho sailor into an outrageous drag artist.

One chap began the programme as a painter and decorator. Four weeks later he had morphed into a contemporary artist, his works sharing gallery space with leading young British artists. Some months later the programme makers revisited him.

He was getting ready for the opening of his first solo exhibition, in a prestigious gallery in his hometown of Liverpool. It was an outrageous success. He was not a little shocked that people were happy to pay thousands for his efforts.

His keenest observation in all of this transformation was simply that without the programme he might never have discovered the genuine talent that he undoubtedly had. Without it he might have carried on painting walls and stripping wallpaper forever.

Passion and determination

Another compulsive reality show was ‘Jamie’s Kitchen’, in which Jamie Oliver took on the task of teaching 15 jobless teenagers how to run a restaurant. The going was tough, and some fell by the wayside, but one of the nine unemployed youngsters to stay the course was Tim Siadatan, whose life has changed forever.

A chef at Jamie’s not-for-profit restaurant Fifteen, Tim is now planning to open his own chain of diners one day. He says, ‘What Jamie has done is amazing; he’s taught us that with passion and determination you can get any career you want and be a success, a real heavy duty success. He has given us a passion for a career and has instilled love for it in us. I love going to work, and how many people can say that? We now all believe we can do something with our lives.’

Money doesn’t buy happiness

This isn’t just a question of money. As many lottery winners have discovered, money doesn’t guarantee happiness. In fact, most lottery winners, a year after their windfall, have been found to be usually as happy or as miserable as they were before.

But what if you think big? What if you put some of that windfall to good use? If the example of Ray and Barbara Wragg is anything to go by, the results can be awesome.

When the Sheffield couple scooped a £7.6 million jackpot, they decided the best way to enjoy their new-found wealth was to give it away. In less than two years, they gave £6 million to relatives, friends and good causes, saying they were thrilled to have the chance to be able to be so generous.

‘You hear lots of people saying winning the lottery has made them miserable – it hasn’t done that for us,’ said Ray Wragg. Of course they spent some on themselves, swapping their council house for a five-bedroom home and treating themselves to a new car and holidays.

But they also gave thousands of pounds to local hospitals, and bought Disney show tickets and chocolates at Christmas and Easter for hundreds of inner-city school children. ‘We wrote out a “gift list”,’ explains Barbara. ‘Children, family, then hospitals, charities and friends.  Well, we can afford it, can’t we? So that’s why we did it. When we give away money it’s brilliant.’

Generosity

Anita Roddick made her fortune as founder of The Body Shop, but later talked of her desire to give her wealth away: ‘Being generous is a bloody great exit to life.’

While we may not all have lottery numbers to come up, or a Naked Chef to step in and transform our lives, we can all do a stock-take on our hopes and dreams.

Think about yourself.

Do you think small when it comes to you and your life? Have you shut down, closed off possibilities anywhere, resigned yourself to more ‘realistic’ ambitions?

Are you reluctant to put yourself forward because you are too modest or lack confidence? It’s one thing to change your mind about what you want or, on reflection, realise you never really wanted it that much.

But giving up without ever trying in the first place may well come back to haunt you. Thankfully you’re smart enough to avoid that fate.

Actions of the Week

1. Think Bigger!

Understand the principle of rising to the occasion. You’ll simply play a bigger game.

You fancy taking up jogging? Enrol for a 5k race and watch yourself get ready.

2. Be Optimistic

You’re no wimp. Never talk like one. Never ever say, I can’t, it’s impossible. Aim to achieve.

Intend to succeed. Believe that anything is attainable. Do not for one moment think that you can’t achieve your goal.

3. Plan to win

Get a strategy in place. Think about every step along the path to achieving that goal. Don’t be vague. Get it on paper. Be organised.

4. Get committed

The moment you really commit is when things start to happen. As Goethe said a century and a half ago, “The moment one commits oneself then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never have otherwise occurred. A whole new stream of events all manner of unforeseen incidents and chance meetings, and material assistance come forth which no one could have dreamt would appear.”

5. Get excited

Why bother extending yourself if there’s no good reason? Create some urgency about your goal so you feel sufficiently compelled to dig a little deeper.

Choose one thing this week that involves you biting off more than you think you can chew. If it’s important enough, you’ll handle it. You just have to. It’s critical.

Remember, impossible is an opinion.

Have a really great week. Drop me an email this week and let me know how you’re getting on, fiona@fionaharrold.com