Relaunch Your Life
Module 4: Plotting Your Course

In the last module, we talked about what goals should look like. This week you are going to learn to set your own goals and a step-by-step method for achieving those goals. The difference between a wish and a goal is that a goal is action-oriented.

You know what you have to do – and you do it!

Part One

Planning for Achievement

Get out the lists of dreams you made last week.

They may seem intimidating – so much so that you may be tempted to put them aside. Don’t.

You will return to these lists over and over again during your life. You will return to them to write the word “achieved” on top of them. That is one of the most satisfying experiences you will ever have.

The first thing you need to do is look at the dreams you highlighted. Take one sheet at a time.

Pick three dreams that you felt you wanted to accomplish as soon as possible.

  1. The first thing you need to do is set a deadline for the goal that you picked. Is this a one-year goal or a ten-year goal? Five-months or six-years? It is important to set deadlines. A goal without a deadline is dead. It will not go anywhere. It is also important to set a realistic deadline. Make sure your deadline is not too close –making it impossible to accomplish – or too far away. At this point, your deadline is only a guide.
  2. Now take the first dream you picked. Imagine that you have accomplished this goal. What do you see yourself doing? Now work backwards from the goal to see how you got there.For example, I wanted to travel to the United Kingdom by myself, rent a car, and then drive to Wales and Scotland. I had never driven on the left side of the road before, so I was a bit nervous. My goal was to drive on the left without being a nervous wreck (literally!). So I pictured myself driving the car. I pictured myself shifting with my left hand. I thought about what I had to do to be able to drive safely. I ran through the whole experience in my mind. And – it worked. I drove on the left and it felt natural to me.

It is often hard for us to picture how to achieve our goals from where we are now. This exercise makes it easier to figure out how to get to our goals. It takes the pressure off from “what do I have to do first?” to “how did I get here?”

Let’s say you want to become healthier.

  • First, you picture yourself at your ideal weight and in great physical condition. What do you see yourself doing?

    When I did this exercise a few years ago, I was a soft-drinkaholic. I drank 5-9 glasses of cola a day. My water intake was nil, and my favorite activity was turning the pages of a book. I took some time to visualize what I thought I would be doing if I were physically fit.

    The “future me” was busily biking and drinking water. That helped me see what I needed to do to reach that goal. I began working backwards, seeing what I needed to do to become the “future me.” I realized that I had to cut calories, stop drinking colas, start drinking water and exercising daily. I had my action plan. An action plan is a necessary part to achieving any goal.

  • Once you have visualized, you will have the actions necessary to get started on that goal.

    Take your pen and journal and write the goal down in the SMART way. An example of a great short-term goal for a sedentary person might be: I am happily exercising thirty minutes six times a week by January 5. This goal is specific. It tells exactly what the goal setter will do. It is measurable – 30 minutes a week. It is attainable and realistic. Most important – it has a time-specific deadline.

Now do this for all your “main” goals – that is all the goals that you highlighted.

You should have one goal in every area of your life. I suggest that you limit yourself to working on only three goals at a time. It will pull you in too many directions to focus on more than three goals. Take these three priority goals and write both the goal and the action plan on an index card to carry around with you.

Every day, read this card to yourself. Keep your goals in your mind.

Part Two

Your Action Plan

Setting up your action plan is not difficult either. All you do is list your overall goal and then the steps necessary for achieving that goal. These are often called short-term goals. You also give each step of your action plan a time frame as well. My overall goal might be to write a book. My first action step might be to buy a book on fiction writing by Oct. 1, 2010. My next step might be to write 10 pages in the first week. It is this easy!

When you have your initial action plan, get out your calendar for the next week. Look for any time that you can set aside to work on your goal. Pencil it in as an appointment. For example, pencil in time at the gym if that is one of your goals. YOU are important. It is crucial that you see time for yourself as productive time. Do this every week. You will be amazed at how much more you accomplish towards your goals.

Having an action plan is like putting blinders on a horse. It keeps you focused on what is important to you, so that your dreams don’t get lost in a pile of housework or in the stack of bills to be paid.

Part Three

Overcoming Obstacles

“Obstacles are those frightening things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” Henry Ford

One of the major reasons New Year’s resolutions fail is that there is no well thought out action plan for the resolutions. I will be doing a seminar about this very thing for a gym in my hometown. But never fear – you will now be among the three percent of the world that have written goals.

Have you ever filled out a “to do” list? Weren’t you shocked to see how much you accomplished towards your list that day? That’s what an action plan can do for you. The best action plan foresees obstacles and gives you several ways to overcome them.

My biggest obstacle to weight loss is a love of chocolate. When I was writing out my action plan, I knew I would have to come up with some way to satisfy my craving so I would not be sideswiped by chocolate. I built in one cheat day each week. It makes it easier to overcome the desire to eat if I know I can have it guilt-free on Friday!

It is important to foresee any obstacles you might face. If you’ve set a goal to run a marathon, and you know you hate cold weather, you need to find an indoor track. If you already have a plan to deal with the obstacles, they are easy to overcome. It is like having a spare tire in case of an accidental blowout on Kirkstone Pass (this happened to me!). It allows you to simply put on the new tire and head off to ride the boat on Ullswater. In other words – it frees you to focus on your dream.

Part Four

Looking for the Positive

We often see obstacles as negative. However, they can be positive.

There is an old legend about a man who sells his farm to look for diamonds. He looks all his life, but never finds any diamonds. His farm, however, turns out to hold one of the largest diamond mines ever discovered.

For the farmer, the obstacle to his happiness was his farm. He felt that he couldn’t look for diamonds without selling his farm. So he did, only to find that his obstacle held all the answers to his dreams. Sometimes what appears to be an obstacle is really a wake-up call to action.

There are many examples of people who have lost their job only to find out that this traumatic event was the best thing that could have happened to them. These people were then forced to look at their career aspirations in a new light. They started businesses, wrote novels, began acting – you name it. Their obstacle became a new path to what they had only dreamed about!

My client, Micki (not her real name), felt forced to quit her job at a bank after a confrontation with authority. She succeeded in seeing this obstacle as a positive, and now has a job where she is much happier. She has better hours and higher pay. The same thing can happen for you!

Take some time now and think about an obstacle in your life. See if you can look at it from another angle.

Could it be a blessing in disguise? Is there any opportunity here that you may be missing? Ask a trusted friend (or your life coach) to look at it with unbiased eyes and see if you might be missing something. If so, take action. If not, look for other areas for benefits. It is often said that God never closes a door without opening a window. I firmly believe this to be true.

I know that when my first marriage broke up, I was devastated. More at my perceived failure than from any real sorrow over the marriage – but still, I was upset. However, I realized later that this obstacle – a failed marriage – had the seeds for greatness. I realized I was tougher than I thought, since I’d maintained a full course load at college and worked two part-time jobs while still maintaining a home. I realized that I could handle pain and heartache. Most importantly, I knew what was unacceptable to me in a marriage. This has allowed me to understand myself more – making me a better person to be with in a relationship.

Obstacles are not roadblocks – they are only detours. It is your perception of the event that holds you back, not the actual event. Keep that in mind as you are achieving your dreams.

If you are facing an obstacle, please look at it with “fresh eyes” before you miss an opportunity (although not always a blessing) in disguise.

In 1980, a mother named Candy Lightner lost her twelve-year old daughter in an accident involving a drunk driver. It also looked as if the man guilty of killing her daughter might go free. This obstacle would have crushed most women.

Her reaction saved countless lives. The obstacle she faced was two-fold. First, she had to face her daughter’s death. That is something that requires time and grieving. The other obstacle was the fact that the man who killed her daughter might not have to pay for his crime. This is the obstacle she overcame by founding MADD. She could have remained in her anger, feeling helpless and out of control.

Instead, Lightner used it to help others. She founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to bring awareness to this insidious crime. Since MADD’s inception, laws against drinking and driving have been made stricter throughout the U.S. and more people have been made aware of the dangers.

Lightner, in her book Giving Sorrow Words, says for her, being fulfilled means being committed to an issue. As her life has changed, her issues have changed. She says that she did not allow herself to grieve for her daughter when she formed MADD. She admits this was a mistake.

Lightner is a good example of someone who has evolved over time and has learned from her mistakes. She learned to grieve for her daughter. In addition, she has not stayed stagnate. She worked with MADD until she felt that it was time to go. She took control of her own life.

Your life is yours – isn’t it time that you make the choices that control it?

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Take a break!

You have come so far over the last few weeks. It is time to take a day off. Relax and take time for yourself today. You should take at least 20 minutes for yourself every single day!

2. Look for positive occurrences in your daily life

Look around you. Just about every day something good happens to you. Often though, we are so focused on the negative we fail to see the little things that happen to us that are beneficial. Take an awareness check and mentally note every nice thing that happens to you today.

3. Give a compliment

Make someone’s day today with a true compliment. This is especially effective if you have young children. You can start their day off right with just one compliment. This also boosts your happiness level!

4. Read your goals daily

Every day, review your goals. Each week, sit down and prepare your action plan for that week. You should do something every single day to help you achieve your goal. It doesn’t have to be big, but you still need to do something. Momentum builds as you move towards your goal. You are halfway there!  Keep it up!

5. Read your mission statement daily and act on it

Every day, review your goals. Each week, sit down and prepare your action plan for that week. You should do something every single day to help you achieve your goal. It doesn’t have to be big, but you still need to do something. Momentum builds as you move towards your goal. You are halfway there! Keep it up!

Until next week, keep smiling!