Be Gorgeous
Module 2: Feng Shui Your Style

Welcome back.

This week, we’re going to have a huge clear out – literally and metaphorically.

Part One

Caring for your Rose

Remember last week I described your journey to gorgeousness as the opening and blossoming of a rose? Well, for the rose to stay healthy, bright and beautiful, it must be tended with great care.

Obviously, the flower needs the basics: food, water and sunlight. But also, it must be lovingly pruned from time to time. Removing wilting flowers and dying stems, past their best is an essential nurturing act to encourage growth. In the same way, if you are to become truly and uniquely gorgeous, you must first rid yourself of anything could prevent your true beauty shining through.

Many respected gardeners are also convinced of the nurturing effect of talking to their plants. We will be developing your loving self-talk, too.

Let’s start this process of renewal practically, by weeding through your wardrobe and getting rid of unflattering garb. To make way for a new, improved you. Have bin bags and a stiff drink at the ready.

Next we will move on to weeding out the toxic messages you are hanging on to about your appearance. Like parasites, these bad thoughts will gnaw away at your Self-esteem, blighting your gorgeousness. I’ll be using creative techniques to help you let go of these unhelpful, negative views, to transform them into positive affirmations, and ultimately, to move forward.

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
Anais Nin

Together, we will take that risk.

The work we will undertake now is going to be challenging. You may find some of the exercises move you deeply. All this is creative. We need to identify what’s not good, deal with it, let go and move on.

Just keep picturing your rose.

Part Two

Wardrobe Weeding

This task is about so much more than binning a few moth eaten sweaters. A careful reassessment of what you wear is a truly transforming experience. Follow my guidelines, and you will change your life.

Yes, really.

This works on many levels. Clearing out the “ungorgeous” will free you to:

  • Take stock of your life
  • Feel more in control
  • Cast out emotional demons
  • Develop your new, healthy Self Image
  • Move on

By ridding yourself of the dross, paradoxically you will find you have MORE of everything.

  • More wearable, worthy clothes
  • More time
  • More money – no more impulse buys
  • More confidence
  • More gorgeousness

“Freedom lies in being bold.”
Robert Frost, poet

So come on, what’s really to lose?

Let’s get started. Either start this task NOW, or get your diary, and set aside the time this week.

It’s time to take action.

Part Three

Preparation is VITAL

To totally revamp (with the emphasis firmly on VAMP!) your wardrobe, you will need:

  • Best part of a day, uninterrupted
  • Bin bags, boxes
  • Plastic or wooden coat hangers
  • Seriously good, uplifting music
  • Plenty of water and yummy treats
  • A friend or coach at the end of the telephone line to cheer you on
  • Supreme energy and Positive Mental Attitude

Have your journal at the ready, and read through your definition of gorgeous.

Now, turn to the Developing My Style Section, and review your observations here.

What did you choose as the 3 words to describe how you would like to be perceived?

Write each word, large and bold, on a sheet of A4. Display these at eye level, near your wardrobe. We will be using these as the criteria to assess your clothes.

Ok, so put on the music, and roll up your sleeves!

First of all, take every single thing out of the wardrobe.

Place on the floor or bed. Right now, remove any non-seasonal items. Box these up and allocate a storage space for them. We need to clear the decks.

Next, create a reject pile and cast aside ANYTHING that is:

  • Broken
  • Stained
  • Doesn’t fit and never will. Stop beating yourself up and enjoy your body NOW.
  • Old and tatty
  • Dated
  • Baggy and shapeless
  • Totally un-you. Keep looking at your 3 words.

Take a step back and have a good look at what’s left.

  • Is there a predominance of a certain colour? Is it a shade you actually like?
  • Are you a serial purchaser? I recently helped a client kick a serious beige trouser habit. She owned over 20 pairs! Now she has 3 fabulously flattering ones, and she looks great.
  • What are your clothes REALLY saying about you? Do you like what you hear? Anything not reflecting your true personality can GO, with your love and blessing.

You are bound to be left with a number of garments you still have doubts about. Try these on, and take a long look in the mirror.

  • Does it still fit?
  • Is it flattering?
  • When did you last wear it? (Honestly)
  • If you saw someone else wearing it, would you compliment him or her?

Ask yourself, is the garment worthy of being worn by the new, gorgeous you? If it doesn’t exude your 3 gorgeous words, ditch it.

From now on, only choose to wear clothes that reflect your increasing gorgeousness.

“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone”
Coco Chanel

Part Four

Saying Goodbye

Let’s just pause here and assess your cast off pile.

How does it feel to be finally getting rid of this stuff? Make this an opportunity to take stock of your appearance, your self-image, and your life.

So why do we choose to hold on to old clothes we no longer have use for?

They remind us of “The Good Old Days”

Youth, a lost relationship, a life before kids, slimmer times. The truth is, these clothes are probably shabby and dated. They are taking up precious space you could be using to expand into your new beautiful self. If you need to keep a memory, find another symbol: a photo, piece of jewellery, a letter. Resolve to live in the present.

Choose to feel gorgeous NOW. Let go of these clothes and make room for your new life.

Maybe you have items you bought but never wear, and feel guilty about.

Hanging on to these shopping mistakes won’t change that situation, but perpetuate it. Stop beating yourself up by with the constant reminder every time you open the wardrobe.

Why not take them to a Dress Agency, and earn some money back? Or to the Charity Shop? Feel good about helping others. From now on, shopping mistakes are a thing of the past. You now have the knowledge, self-belief and confidence to choose wisely every time.

You MIGHT need them again

Jenny is a client of mine who, over the past 12 months, has lost over 2 stone. She looks – and feels – fabulous. She came to see me to help her sort out her wardrobe.

I discovered Jenny was hanging on to a full set of “fat clothes” – Jenny’s words, not mine. She saw these as a safety blanket, should she start to gain the weight back.

Two months in to our coaching relationship, Jenny’s mindset has changed completely. Gone are the clothes 3 sizes too big. Jenny no longer needs the “safety”, or easy temptation, of a wardrobe of clothes from her old life. She is now the size she feels she was born to be, and enjoys the vitality and confidence a healthy body brings.

On the other hand, you may feel too “fat” and “frumpy” for all this gorgeous malarkey. The way I see it, either accept your body for its curvy voluptuousness, or take steps NOW to change it. But remember, gorgeousness is a state of mind, not a dress size.

Bag up your rejects straight away and take them to your favourite charity shop.

No regrets.

Part Five

Work That Wardrobe

So now you are left with an array of gorgeous garments. Let’s get them organised, so your wardrobe is really working for you.

  • Hang like with like: shirts with shirts, jackets with jackets etc. This makes it quicker and easier to assemble great outfits
  • Hang rather than fold, wherever possible. If a garment’s folded away in a drawer, you’ll tend not to wear it. Remember, ALL your clothes are now gorgeous, so get good wear from all of them.
  • Display scarves and accessories. If you can see them, you’ll be inspired to wear them. Corkboards are great to display necklaces. I pin all my brooches and corsages to my bedroom curtains. What a glamorous start to the day.
  • Step back and assess your wardrobe.
    • Are there any “holes”?
    • Are you making good use of your casual clothes, but rarely wearing your dressier numbers? Scrap the “I’ll save that for best” idea. You deserve to look good every day of your life. Get wearing those glad rags NOW.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well done. You will now benefit from the instant, and lasting effects of an organised wardrobe. All the hard work has paid off.

Part Six

Sticks and stones

Now we are going to look within, and clear away the dead, useless thought patterns cluttering up your Heart and Mind.

I’m talking about the negative messages we harbour.

Today, let’s focus on the messages we receive and hang on to about our appearance. I’m sure I don’t need to lecture you on the tremendous power of thought. Our brains are like sponges, soaking up and retaining every little thought and throwaway comment. We internalise these ideas, and replay them on a regular basis.

These can be messages we give ourselves, or messages from others. They can be recent, or from our childhood. Makes no difference. The thought is there, playing and replaying like a cassette loop in our brain.

Until, that is, we break the cycle.

Task: What I want you to do now is find a quiet space where you can be alone for about 30 minutes. Choose some soothing music. Sit quietly and think back on the limiting messages from your life.

Hear the words in your head. Write them down, one by one, leaving plenty of space between each one. Write them in quote marks, or speech bubbles, and in the here and now. Some messages will come quickly. Others may take some time.

Here are two of my past messages:

My school Nickname

My school Nickname

My view post-pregnancy

My view post-pregnancy


Keep going with this until there are no more messages left.

Just take a moment to get in touch with how you feel. Angry? Sad? Ready to let go?

That’s Good.

“I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can’t bring me down. So don’t you bring me down today”
Christina Aguleira

Remember, the mind is a powerful tool.

The good news is we can harness that power, and get it working in your favour. Your self-image to date has been the culmination of all your past messages, good and bad. Your future self-image will be shaped by the messages you choose to accept about yourself from this day forward.

First of all, let’s diminish the power of those unhelpful, negative messages about the way you look.

Look back on your observations.

Task: Now take a pen and a clean sheet of paper. Answer every one of the negative messages with a positive affirmation. It’s your chance to have your say. To stand up to the bully, to let it be known how you really feel.

Bat the crap back and then we can clear out and move on.

Remember my messages? Here’s how I answered them, once and for all:

Cod Eyes: “My eyes are large and beautiful. They are my best feature.”
You’re too fat to be sexy: “I enjoy being voluptuous and womanly.”

Feels good, doesn’t it?

Display your affirmations on the inner door of your wardrobe. As for the old messages? Throw them away….better still, burn them. Commit to positive self-talk, from this moment on.

Remember, you can do this exercise as often as needed.

NB: Maybe there is some truth in one of your negatives. Transform this thought into a positive goal. Write out an Action Plan, with a deadline. Take steps today towards making this happen.

Action!

Actions of the Week

1. Develop Your Style

Go window-shopping, but don’t take your purse! Is there a particular store that reflects your sense of style? Record your observations in the style section of your journal. Use catalogues and magazine cut outs, too.

2. Cultivate a Gorgeous Zone in Your Home

Perhaps it’s a whole room, maybe just a corner with a sumptuous chair and inspirational pictures. Bring in all the senses here. Just sit and exude gorgeousness.

3. How’s the Self-Care Going?

Schedule in some me-time, and beautify. Ask a beauty therapist to list her treatments for you in order of priority. Act on this objective advice.

4. Notice any Negative, Limiting Messages that Creep in

Politely challenge any unhelpful comments, then forgive, and forget them.

5. You’re doing so well, you need to celebrate!

Put on your most gorgeous outfit and enjoy being the real you! Do what makes you happy.