Have a Go!

Posted by Fiona Harrold | No Comment

When is it not good to talk? Can conversation ever be counterproductive?

The answer is, oh yes!

In my work coaching personal clients over many years, I’ve observed people talk themselves into things and out of them again, talk themselves up and talk themselves down, all in the same conversation – without ever doing a single thing.

You can hear conversations like this taking place in pubs, restaurants and workplaces all over the country today and any day – especially in pubs!

Everyone knows an armchair analyst, the expert who has the answer for everything, enthusiasm for nothing and all the reasons why something couldn’t work, wouldn’t have worked, or has already been done.

If the unexamined life is not worth living, the over-examined life could be hell! A report published in the journal Developmental Psychology bears this out.

Dr Amanda Rose of the University of Missouri-Columbia, who spent six months studying the effects of teenage problem-solving or “co-rumination,” said:
“Some kids, especially girls, are taking talking about problems to an extreme. When that happens, the balance tips and talking about problems with friends can become emotionally unhealthy.”

The psychologist said that when problems were dwelt on and continually rehashed it made girls more prone to anxiety and depression.

She recommends youngsters should be encouraged to talk about their concerns – but only in moderation: they would do better to take their minds off their worries by learning a sport or pursuing an interest.

An Australian client described to me the culture she had just left behind in Sydney. She summed up the entire Aussie philosophy in three words – Have a go!

The thinking behind it is obvious: there is only one way to try out an idea – put it to the test and – have a go. Obviously one wants to think things through, but excessive thinking, the covering of bases, corners and pitfalls can get in the way of just, simply, having a go.