Feel Better Now

Posted by Fiona Harrold | No Comment

I went to see the new LifeCoach play in London last night and it’s very, very funny.

Phil Jupitus plays the part of Colin the life coach with his Believe in Yourself, Let go of the Past, Take Responsibility plan – BLT for short.

Colin is given the task of transforming Wendy, a hapless PA with major self-esteem problems, whoops, challenges. Essentially, his job is to help her feel better about herself.

Colin arms her with affirmations and assertiveness techniques and urges her to stand up to her bullying boss and exploitative boyfriend. Jupitus’s Colin is brilliant and frighteningly familiar. Think Paul McKenna on caffeine, then add a touch of David Brent.

It works. Wendy succeeds, though not quite in the manner Colin would have liked. In fact, so empowered is she that she stands up to Colin and eventually dismisses his services. The BLT sandwich has worked! And the play works. It’s hilarious and I cringed in parts as I heard familiar words and phrases.

How close is this to real-life coaching? Colin has a phrase, a pat answer for all of Wendy’s questions and objections until she is worn down into beginning to believe she is a wonderful, worthwhile human being. I’d like to hope we coaches are a tad more subtle and sincere than Colin, but, he gets a result.

Coaching sometimes gets a bad press because we want to help people feel better about themselves. We are criticised for giving people ‘false hope.’ The theory goes that we encourage people to strive beyond their capabilities.

Au contraire. The good coach is rooted in reality, eager to inspire and uplift whilst pointing out the road ahead.

I call it dreaming and scheming. Pursue your dreams with a practical plan.

The really good coach then tackles your self-belief, ensuring any dormant self-doubt is dealt with. And of course, when the going gets tough, your coach is there to keep you going. It’s all good!

If there weren’t a need for coaches, we wouldn’t exist. And only good coaches survive. Making people feel better about themselves is a subtle art. Take note, Colin.

Making people feel better about themselves is at the heart of good coaching. As soon as you feel better about yourself, you’ll feel ready to tackle anything, asking for the payrise, demanding the promotion, leaving a draining relationship, setting up your own business.