Reinvent Yourself
Module 4: Look the Part

Cultivate your style

The answer is to adapt our style but concentrate on what feels right rather than continually trying to second guess what might work. There are always individuals who cultivate their style and take it wherever they go, regardless of the occasion.

Marlene Dietrich knew herself and maintained her striking individual look throughout her life: a swath of mink, masculine suits, high heels, red talons and those wonderful etched eye-brows.

It suited her and it worked. She never compromised. That was her look and she wore it everywhere. Supermodel Kate Moss is never a fashion victim and always manages to look comfortable, stylish and entirely individual.

The trick to achieving this effortlessly stylish look is to be consistent: to avoid wearing a uniform of track suit bottoms, baggy jumpers and flat shoes at home while dressing up in totally different garb once you leave the house.

It always shows. A sharp stylist could detect that this just wasn’t your normal attire and describe your usual uniform waiting at home.

Penny’s style

I worked with a client, Penny, on this very issue. She was a lovely young woman of 36 who had been married for seven years. They had a gorgeous cottage in the country and Penny was a keen gardener.

The problem was that she felt she traded glamour for comfort and the woolly cardigans and furry slippers were having a detrimental effect on how she perceived herself.

And if she didn’t see herself as ‘a creature unlike any other’, how could her husband? She needed to swing the emphasis from drudge to diva.

Out went the cardies, slippers and anything else that smacked of matronly aunt and in came furry mules, silk dressing gowns, beaded pashminas and a Diane von Furstenberg wrap dress.

I insisted that no matter how cold it got or how much gardening she did she had to dress as a diva would in these conditions. It is entirely possible to be cool and cosy without giving up on style altogether. Turning up the central heating was infinitely better than dressing like Kathy Bates in Misery.

Attractive

We were aiming for Jessica Lange in The Postman Always Rings Twice. The crucial thing was to get her to really see herself as an attractive, sensuous young woman.

This simply could not happen if she dressed as a frump for most of the time, with her inner diva coming out only for special occasions. And there was absolutely no reason why she couldn’t be a gardener and a goddess as well.

So, dress for yourself.

• What do you want to see reflected back when you look in the mirror?
• Who do you want others to see when they look at you?
• Do clothes help shape the way you see yourself? Absolutely.
• Can a slickly tailored suit help give you an inner-glow of confidence? Definitely.

Sometimes a dramatic change to our bodies can alter our outlook on life and shake up our perception of ourselves. Going from a size 20 to a size 10 will provoke changes throughout your life, not just your body and wardrobe.

I know people who’ve done this and the way they view themselves and the way they dress and present themselves changes dramatically. The way others see them and relate to them changes as well.

Better life

I believe that we embark on diets to improve our life, not just our shape. Underneath that desire to lose weight is a more intense desire to get a better life.

People often assume that a better life can only come once they’ve shed the excess weight or they simply don’t feel deserving of better things until they’ve accomplished that primary goal. I think it’s no coincidence that a major weight loss is frequently accompanied by major life changes.

I am convinced that people’s motivation to improve their physical appearance is inextricably linked to a readiness to shake up their overall life.

Carol Vorderman has done this very thing. Currently the UK’S highest paid entertainer, she has pulled off one of the most incredible and talked about reinventions in recent years.

Her look has always been very mumsy, middle-aged and, well, frumpy. Anything but sexy.

Over a period of twelve months she not only dropped 28lbs from her body, but nearly 10 years from her looks.

At 42 she found her confidence late in life, having dressed very conservatively until now. Nowadays you’ll find her in raunchy Versace numbers by night and Juicy or Earl jeans by day and it’s great to see her enjoying it.

Her external transformation coincides with the end of her marriage, a new boyfriend and a move from the marital country mansion to a new penthouse apartment in central London.

Which change came first we don’t really know, but her new outward appearance certainly reflects her new lifestyle and our perception of her has changed dramatically.

She is now being offered glamorous fashion and lifestyle shows as opposed to the daytime and home improvement shows the ‘old’ Carol used to do.

Appearance matters

In 1967, Professor Albert Mehrabian, currently professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA, carried out the most widely quoted study on communication. He identified three aspects of communication and his conclusions were startling:

• 55% of what we respond to takes place visually;
• 38% of what we respond to is the sound of communication;
• and 7% of what we respond to involves the actual words we use.

Over half of all communication is non-verbal. It is the look of the communication that has the most impact: the way we act, dress, move, gesture and so on.

Pay attention to your posture and body language. We all know that rounded shoulders look defensive and defeated and open body language looks comfortable and reassuring.

Pilates, yoga, the Alexander technique are all great techniques to improve your posture and leave you looking expansive, relaxed and elegant. Looking the part, dressing the part and the tone of our voice are what really convey our message.

Appearances matter.

Ask Madonna, Kylie, Elizabeth Hurley, Lulu, any pop band in the world and they’ll tell you that presentation matters. It’s key to the overall package. Changing your public’s perception of you requires you to update the whole look.

Whether you’re Tom Jones introducing yourself to a whole new youth market or part of a new girl or boy band, you’ll need to figure out the look you need to project. Actors often say that they only really get into the part when they wear the clothes of that character. The external influences how they feel and see themselves on the inside.

Styling

Today, stylists are so prized and sought-after they have a status similar to the stars they style. Katie Grand has recently restyled Kylie, Madonna, Elizabeth Hurley and Demi Moore for the cover of her magazine, Pop, and she  is the one the papers are interviewing.

No department store that wanted to be taken seriously would be without a good personal shopper to help you get the look.

What’s the Dress Code?

Decide what your dress code needs to be. It’s your uniform, a vital part of your armoury, critical to your success.  Looking the part is half the battle.  When Madonna turned up to persuade director Alan Parker to give her the part of Eva Peron in Evita, she drew gasps as she swanned in.

She was  Eva Peron, head-to-toe. The resemblance was said to be uncanny - and she went on to be Oscar-nominated for the part. Any actress I know who’s serious about getting the part, dresses the part for the audition. It makes it infinitely easier to feel what it’s like to be that person.

Your costume

So, what’s your role? What part are you playing? Be absolutely clear. Your appearance speaks volumes.

Best to get it under your control and say what you want it to, convey the right message. Dress the part or dress for the part you want. If you want to convince those in power of your intelligence and authority, dress to impress them.

Skin, hair and hands deserve thoughtful grooming. It’ll show. All work environments have dress codes.

Ensure you’ve deciphered yours and are suitably attired.

The flamboyant offices of Saatchi & Saatchi will be poles apart from City bankers Morgan Stanley.

Smarten up!

‘Dress down’ Fridays, when office workers were encouraged to turn up in casual clothes were introduced in offices in London and the US in the 1990s. It was argued that allowing employees to relax their dress code on the last day of the working week could pay dividends.

Not so, according to a study for American Corporate Trends Magazine. For the study, companies were asked to monitor Fridays after allowing dressing down. They replied that they saw a 50 per cent drop in employees’ commitment to the job, a 35 per cent rise in charges of tardiness and a 63 per cent increase in complaints by customers.

In Britain, Richard Wilson, of the Institute of Directors, said: “When you go to work and you have to wear a suit it encourages you to convey an image of professionalism and puts you in a different frame if mind. If you are rolling up to work in casual gear then it instils a more casual attitude.”

Suited for the job

New York-based tailor Alan Flusser is the author of the recent bestselling style bible Dressing the Man and creator of the archetypal power look for the film Wall Street back in 1987.

He is convinced that in tough economic times there is a greater need to look as though we’re up to it:  “The suit has returned to its rightful place as the work uniform of choice… in times of economic difficulties, people return to traditional dress. Business gets tough so you have to look tougher to do business”.

Don’t overdo it is the message from Peter York, social commentator and author of The Official Sloane Ranger Handbook: “Overdone looks overdone. Being properly dressed is not wrong, but overdo it and you don’t add value, you end up taking it away.”

All the experts agree that women should opt for a well-tailored suit and  the right  heels for projecting an air of professionalism at work. They should also wear make-up.

Those who do earn 25% more than those who don’t. In general, darker colours are more serious and speak authority, think black, navy and pinstripe. And, remember the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

Get into shape

You know what to do. Get the look. It’ll be worth it.

If you need to drop 10lbs to get it even better, get on with it.

Don’t underestimate the importance of feeling comfortable in your skin, with your size. And besides, it’s important to exercise and have a strong supple body that can carry you through life without breaking down. It may not be politically correct to say it, but there’s just no denying it – a slim, fit body is important.

I grew up with a dad who was a self-improvement fanatic and this included one’s body as well.  We were the first, and only, people out ‘jogging’ round the streets of my home town, Lurgan, and my dad was pumping iron at Buster McShane’s gym way before gym memberships became popular for non-athletes.

He also maintained a year round tan with ingenious positioning of a small square sun lamp. He looked gorgeous! I’m all for pursuing the body beautiful and attaining your best possible look. Why not? You deserve no less. Just don’t drive yourself crazy, as many people do, as you go about it. You’ll get there.

Looking the part

British talk show star, Graham Norton was interviewed recently and asked about the effect of his phenomenal success on his ego. He replied, “Being thin and fit has affected my ego far more than success has.”  How fascinating is that?

He’d been plump throughout his life and was experiencing slimness for the first time, having recently secured the services of a personal trainer and shed nearly two stone.

Remember Kevin Spacey in American Beauty? Facing a mid-life crisis he sets about changing his entire life. Setting up a makeshift gym in his garage and losing his paunch is part of the plan. When asked what he’s up to his character replies, ‘I just want to look good without my clothes’.

It’s good to get into shape. You deserve to have the sensation of a lean, fit body that looks great – with or without your clothes.

Get With It

Most importantly, dress for yourself. Present yourself as you wish to see yourself. Strong, confident, going places, up-to-the minute without being a fashion victim. You decide and then dress yourself up. The days are long gone when looking sexy ended at 35.

Forty is no longer frumpy. Forty is Madonna, it is Sex and the City’s Kim Catrall, it is domestic goddess Nigella Lawson. We are no longer defined by age, but by attitude. And fashion is no longer an age- related thing.

When it comes to dressing, what’s age got to do with it?  Nothing.

A recent Versace party in London’s V&A museum had Madonna looking understated wearing trousers, a leather jacket and a high-necked blouse, with daughter Lourdes by her side. Her message was clearly: ‘I’m a busy mom, and that’s my priority.’

At 44, Madonna’s body is still worthy of a barely-there Versace dress. Trudie Styler, on the other hand, left her kids at home and flaunted her body with the sort of confidence that daily yoga confers.

Men too have the right to look and dress how they feel. Is Tom Jones still sexy at 60? You bet.

And Michael Douglas, Warren Beatty, Paul McCartney, Bill Clinton, Mick Jagger, Robert Redford, David Bowie, Paul Newman? Absolutely. What they all have in common is an ability to move with the times and look ‘now’, current, up-to-date, with it. Looking fashionable, looking youthful is available to anyone, at any age.

Looking good, looking how you want to has never been easier.

Remember. You’re the talent. You’re your own calling card. Be your own best asset.  Look the part. You’re worth it so get with it.

Feel good

The most important thing in self-presentation is self-confidence. If you feel good, and feel that you look good and project that, no matter what you are wearing, other people will subconsciously agree.

And no matter how fashionable or impeccably chic you are, if you feel awkward and inappropriate, you’ll come across as awkward and inappropriate. In other words if you think you look good, other people will too.

Feeling attractive and sexy has far more to do with self-esteem than well, anything else. Amanda Harlech is best known as Karl Lagerfeld’s muse at Chanel, having fulfilled this role for John Galliano at the House of Dior before that. Put simply, she inspires the world’s greatest fashion house. This is what she had to say in a recent interview on fashion: “The only fashion no-no is hating yourself.”

Always remember: confidence is sexy. The right outfit helps enormously, but it’s confidence that you want to cultivate. If you feel confident, if you feel attractive, you’ll radiate confidence and attractiveness. It’s true what they say: ‘You’re as attractive as you feel’.

Show them who you are

See yourself for what you want to be. Identify the look that suits you now, daytime and evening, workdays and weekends. Don’t be vague about what your appearance is saying. Pinpoint the message. If it doesn’t suit you, change the outfit. Get on-message. Speak the truth.

Actions of the Week

1.  What’s the Message?

Clarify what you want to project.

Who are you dressing up as? What’s the story? What’s your part? How do you want to be interpreted?

Get conscious about what you’re saying. Choose the look to match the message.

2. Question everything

Examine your wardrobe for anything that no longer represents you. Less is more if you’re left with clothes that feel right and true for you. Don’t hesitate to let go of an out-of-date look. Who you are now needs representation.

Examine your hair and make-up in the same enquiring light. Professional guidance costs nothing these days, so make use of it.  Any decent department store offers a free styling service. Take advice.

3. Get groomed

Man or woman, rich or poor, look cared for. Neglect yourself and it could look like life’s getting on top of you, which is not a good look. Get the sharpest haircut, best colour you can afford.

Manicures, facials, pedicures all add up to a high-maintenance person. Self-care is self-respect. Polish and preen yourself. Everyone else in the animal kingdom does.

4. Check the details

The right accessories will seal your look. A timeless classic or this season’s watch will complement your message. Keeping up with trends shows you know which year it is and you’re in touch.

A new bag or shoes from a current collection, designer or High Street, will do the job. Go for quality. Better to have one cashmere sweater than 20 mere merino ones. An Armani suit will leave you feeling a million dollars in the way a High Street one just won’t.

5. Feel Good

Work it!  Psych up your confidence. You’re as attractive as you feel and you’re feeling good. Smile. Relax. Exude reassurance and bonhomie. Project composure.

Shoulders back and down, neck relaxed and long, eyes ahead.  Set these finishing touches to your look before you leave the house. Do the groundwork, put the preparation in and then forget about it all and just enjoy. Looking the part becomes second nature.

See yourself for what you want to be. Dress to fit the person you are and will be.