Self-Worth and Self-Respect

Posted by Katherine Brown | No Comment

Last week’s discussion on personal power obviously touched a nerve for many of you as we’ve never received such a big response to any other Newsletter!

Coincidentally, I turned to Radio 4 last Friday, just as the programme ‘You & Yours’ was beginning a feature on ‘Why the British are So Modest’. Round the table were celebrity publicist, Max Clifford and psychologist, Oliver James.

The interesting thing – for me anyway – was that all seemed to agree that modesty, self-effacement, even self-deprecation was a far better thing than arrogance and boasting. No-one made the case for something in between, a healthy appreciation of yourself, your own talents and potential. How fascinating as neither of these men would have got to where they are in life without substantial amounts of ‘front’! Max, especially, has incredible self-worth and self-respect, whatever anyone thinks or says about him.

My own position is that without a clear respect for yourself, the person you are and what you’ve got going for you, you’re only operating at a fraction of your potential. And the more you value yourself, the easier life is and the more successful you’ll be in everything you do. You’ll also be a much happier and more generous person as well.

The criticism that confident people are obnoxious and arrogant is fundamentally flawed. Deeply confident, thoroughly self-assured people don’t need to make a huge fuss and lots of noise. There’s no need to impress anyone, draw a crowd, be the life and soul of every party. These people are desperately unsure of themselves and need you, me, everyone, to like them. This isn’t too much confidence and self-belief. It’s too little.

Your Mission

So, this week, Your Mission, and please do accept it, is to check that you’re not being falsely modest, coy, demeaning or downright self-deprecating. This is not a good look and it will hold you back in your life, in every aspect. Don’t worry sooo much about gaining other people’s respect. Make sure you have the respect of the person you really have to answer to – you. The person who needs to be convinced of your intrinsic worth and value is – you.

I agree with Madonna when she said, ” I’ve learnt that if your happiness is based on people approving of everything you do, you’re doomed to fail”.

Respect Yourself!